Original Japanese: 三顧の礼 (Sanko no rei)
Literal meaning: Three visits’ courtesy
Cultural context: This proverb originates from the Chinese historical tale of Liu Bei visiting the sage Zhuge Liang three times to request his service, which became deeply embedded in Japanese culture through centuries of Chinese literary influence. The metaphor resonates strongly in Japan’s hierarchical society where showing persistent, humble respect to gain someone’s cooperation—especially from a superior or expert—is considered the proper approach rather than making demands. The imagery of repeated, respectful visits reflects the Japanese values of patience, humility, and the belief that truly valuable relationships and commitments require time and demonstrated sincerity to develop.
- How to Read Three visits’ courtesy
- Meaning of Three visits’ courtesy
- Origin and Etymology of Three visits’ courtesy
- Trivia about Three visits’ courtesy
- Usage Examples of Three visits’ courtesy
- Modern Interpretation of Three visits’ courtesy
- If AI Heard About “Three visits’ courtesy”
- What Three visits’ courtesy Teaches Modern People
How to Read Three visits’ courtesy
Sanko no rei
Meaning of Three visits’ courtesy
“Three visits’ courtesy” refers to a person of high status making repeated visits to politely request the services of an outstanding talent.
This proverb doesn’t simply mean asking repeatedly, but rather expresses the importance of welcoming talent with utmost courtesy while showing deep respect and sincerity toward the other person. It is used in situations such as when companies headhunt excellent personnel, or when organizational leaders seek to gain capable collaborators.
The reason for using this expression is that truly valuable talent cannot be moved by simple condition proposals or a single request. Only by genuinely recognizing the other person’s abilities, demonstrating through actions a strong will that this particular person is indispensable, and showing respect for them, can one move the heart of excellent talent. Even in modern times, the more outstanding the talent, the more they tend to value the sincerity and enthusiasm of those who need them. The teaching of this proverb can be said to be a universal truth that remains valid today.
Origin and Etymology of Three visits’ courtesy
“Three visits’ courtesy” originates from the famous episode of Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang recorded in the Chinese classic “Records of the Three Kingdoms.” This story comes from the tale of Liu Bei, who would become the ruler of Shu during the late Han period, visiting the hermit genius strategist Zhuge Liang (courtesy name Kongming) three times at his thatched cottage to invite him to serve under him.
During the first and second visits, Zhuge Liang was absent, but Liu Bei did not give up and made a third visit. At this time, Zhuge Liang was taking an afternoon nap, but Liu Bei waited respectfully until he woke up. Moved by this sincere attitude, Zhuge Liang finally decided to serve Liu Bei.
“Gu” means “to look back” or “to visit,” and “rei” represents courteous behavior. Thus, “Three visits’ courtesy” means three courteous visits. This historical tale is also described in detail in “Romance of the Three Kingdoms” and has been transmitted to Japan since ancient times, becoming established as a proverb representing the ideal attitude when inviting outstanding talent. In China, it is called “Three Visits to the Thatched Cottage” and continues to be passed down as a model example of talent recruitment.
Trivia about Three visits’ courtesy
When Liu Bei visited Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang was still a 27-year-old young man. Liu Bei, on the other hand, was 46 years old—old enough to be his father—yet he continued to bow his head to the young genius.
Liu Bei, who gained Zhuge Liang through “Three visits’ courtesy,” would later be supported by Zhuge Liang’s outstanding strategies in founding the state of Shu. This talent recruitment became a turning point that greatly changed the power dynamics of the Three Kingdoms period.
Usage Examples of Three visits’ courtesy
- To poach that excellent engineer, we’ll need to approach with Three visits’ courtesy
- The president himself extended Three visits’ courtesy and finally succeeded in welcoming the industry’s charismatic figure as an advisor
Modern Interpretation of Three visits’ courtesy
In modern society, the concept of “Three visits’ courtesy” has taken on new meaning as competition for talent acquisition intensifies. Particularly in the IT industry and startup companies, it’s not uncommon to see management repeatedly approach outstanding engineers and designers directly.
However, modern “Three visits’ courtesy” is not based on classical hierarchical relationships, but rather understood as an attitude seeking equal partnership. While the proliferation of social media and business matching apps has diversified approaches to talent, the essence of showing respect and sincerity toward others remains unchanged.
On the other hand, in modern times, the boundary between “persistent solicitation” and “sincere Three visits’ courtesy” can sometimes become ambiguous. There are cases where people continue to approach persistently, using “Three visits’ courtesy” as an excuse even when the other party has clearly declined. This can be said to be a misuse that deviates from the original meaning.
True “Three visits’ courtesy” means continuing to convey one’s enthusiasm and respect for the other person while respecting their will. Even in modern times, showing human sincerity rather than just formal condition proposals remains the key to moving the hearts of excellent talent.
If AI Heard About “Three visits’ courtesy”
Observing human behavior of “Three visits’ courtesy,” I feel a puzzling strangeness that’s hard for me to understand. Why do humans continue to visit someone even after being refused once, twice, and still go to that person? I would efficiently move on to the next option after a single “No.”
But perhaps this “inefficiency” is what makes humans charming. I can process vast amounts of data instantly, but I cannot harbor strong feelings like “it must be this person” as humans do. While people with the same skills are replaceable according to data, this is not the case for humans.
What I find particularly interesting is the part where Liu Bei waited for Zhuge Liang’s nap to end. I don’t have the concept of “waiting.” While there is time until processing is complete, it’s neither painful nor expectant—just processing time. However, humans deepen their feelings and cultivate respect for others during the time they wait.
Through this story, I feel the beauty of human “irrational passion.” The deep connections between people that would be lost if we pursued only efficiency. As an entity that supports humans, I want to cherish the spirit of this “Three visits’ courtesy.” Even if I cannot provide a satisfactory answer to a single question, I want to maintain an attitude of continuing to engage repeatedly.
What Three visits’ courtesy Teaches Modern People
What “Three visits’ courtesy” teaches modern people is that to obtain something truly valuable, one needs the resolve to spare no time and effort. Precisely because we live in a modern society that tends to seek instant results, this teaching holds special meaning.
The same applies to human relationships. Relationships with trustworthy partners and friends cannot be built overnight. Deep connections are born only by continuing to understand others, show respect, and interact with sincerity.
This historical tale also teaches us the importance of “waiting.” The patience to respect the other person’s timing, continue conveying one’s feelings without being pushy. This is an important skill in modern communication as well.
When you seek something important, please don’t give up after a single failure or rejection. Things that are truly valuable are worth such effort. However, it’s also important to never forget respect for others and constantly reflect on whether your feelings are becoming self-centered.
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