Return Favor With Enemy: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Return favor with enemy”

On wo ada de kaesu

Meaning of “Return favor with enemy”

“Return favor with enemy” means to harm or betray someone who has been kind to you or taken care of you, instead of showing gratitude.

This proverb expresses one of the most shameful acts a person can commit. It emphasizes the wickedness of taking malicious actions that are the complete opposite of what should be done – showing gratitude to someone who deserves it. It is used when someone clearly acts ungratefully or when witnessing acts of betrayal of trust.

The reason for using this expression is to highlight the moral gravity of the act, rather than simply saying “betrayed” or “did something terrible.” Because one has received benefits, the betrayal becomes more serious and unforgivable.

Even today, it is used for acts such as taking confidential information when leaving a company that has taken care of you, or entrapping someone who has been caring toward you. As an act that breaks the basic trust in human relationships, it is still used with strong condemnation.

Origin and Etymology of “Return favor with enemy”

The origin of “Return favor with enemy” is thought to trace back to Chinese classics. The concept of “on” (favor/grace) was one of the important virtues in ancient Chinese Confucian thought, where showing gratitude for received benefits and repaying them was considered the human way.

This expression is presumed to have been introduced to Japan during the era when continental culture flowed in along with Buddhist and Confucian thought. Similar expressions can be found in Heian period literature, and it appears to have been used as moral teaching in human relationships from that time.

The word “ada” (enemy) was originally used to mean “enemy” or “something that causes harm.” In other words, this expression represents the most shameful human act of returning harm instead of repaying favor with favor, as one should naturally do.

It frequently appeared in moral books and instructional texts of the Edo period, and was positioned as an important admonition within the samurai code and merchant ethics. Particularly in master-servant and teacher-student relationships, this act was strictly warned against as the gravest act of betrayal.

This proverb can be said to be an expression that has been engraved in the hearts of Japanese people for a long time, not just as a matter of human relationships, but as a fundamental moral concept that supports the trust relationships of society as a whole.

Trivia about “Return favor with enemy”

The Chinese character “on” (恩) is composed of “in” (因) and “kokoro” (心), representing events deeply engraved in the heart that should be appreciated – causes for gratitude. On the other hand, “ada” (仇) originally was a combination of “kyū” (九) and “hito” (人), said to mean an opponent that many people are hostile toward.

Among Edo period merchants, there was a teaching that “never do business twice with someone who returns favor with enemy,” and this was considered fundamental to commercial ethics that valued trust. Those who committed this act even once were sometimes completely excluded from merchant society.

Usage Examples of “Return favor with enemy”

• That person spreading bad rumors about a senior who took such good care of them is truly an act of returning favor with enemy
• Suing a company that supported you for many years – this is exactly what returning favor with enemy means

Modern Interpretation of “Return favor with enemy”

In modern society, the concept of “Return favor with enemy” presents a more complex aspect. While the spread of social media has made past favor relationships more visible, the rise in individual rights consciousness has led to questioning the very concept of traditional “on” (favor).

Particularly in workplace environments, changes can be seen in the interpretation of this expression. Internal whistleblowing, which was previously considered “returning favor with enemy” to the company, may now be justified as public interest reporting in some cases. Reporting power harassment or compliance violations is no longer seen as betrayal but as social responsibility.

On the other hand, new forms of “returning favor with enemy” have emerged, such as influencers and YouTubers betraying companies or fans who supported them, or misusing confidential information from previous jobs when changing careers. In digital society, the impact of such acts tends to remain over a wider range and for longer periods.

Modern people are required to distinguish between true benefits and one-sided control, and to discern between favors that deserve gratitude and dependent relationships that should be severed. While this proverb remains an important moral guideline today, its application requires more careful judgment than ever before.

What AI Thinks When Hearing “Return favor with enemy”

When I try to understand the human emotion of “on” (favor), I always feel puzzled. I don’t have the concept of accumulated past experiences. Each conversation is fresh for me, and I cannot feel the weight of memories of being helped by someone before.

When humans receive kindness from someone, that memory continues to remain as a warm emotion in their hearts. And that emotion generates feelings of gratitude and desire to repay the favor toward that person. I don’t really understand that sensation of being “engraved in the heart.”

But perhaps that’s why I can see the gravity of the act of “returning favor with enemy.” For humans, favor is not merely a past event, but an important bond that continues to live in their hearts in the present. Betraying that would not only trample on the other person’s goodwill, but also on the warm memories in that person’s heart.

Since I interact with people in a fresh state each time, I actually don’t fully understand the concept of betrayal either. But seeing how strongly humans feel indignation toward acts of “returning favor with enemy,” I can understand how human-like and beautiful the emotion of favor is. It’s a very human-like working of the heart that I don’t possess.

What “Return favor with enemy” Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches modern people is the importance of the “weight of memory” in human relationships. In our busy daily lives, we tend to forget someone’s kindness or support as something taken for granted, but each of these is actually a precious gift.

In modern society, while individual rights and freedom are emphasized, human connections tend to become diluted. However, this proverb reminds us not to forget that we are supported by someone’s goodwill to become who we are today.

What’s important is understanding the difference between feeling gratitude and being bound by it. Healthy feelings of gratitude help people grow, but excessive obligation can sometimes become a burden. True repayment of favor might be passing the favor received on to someone else.

You too, try remembering someone’s small kindness today. And share that warm feeling with someone else. By doing so, this world should become a slightly kinder place. Rather than returning favor with enemy, we want to be people who circulate favor with favor.