Brothers Are Beginning Of Strangers: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

Kyōdai wa tanin no hajimari

Meaning of “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

This proverb means that even blood-related brothers, as they grow up and become independent, walking their own paths in life, gradually become distant from each other and eventually develop relationships similar to strangers.

Even brothers who grew up under the same roof in their childhood, receiving love from the same parents, naturally have fewer opportunities to interact once they become adults, get married, and build their own families. Furthermore, when differences arise in work and living environments, relationships with spouses, and economic situations, they have fewer common topics to discuss, and differences in values also emerge.

This proverb objectively expresses such natural changes in human relationships. It doesn’t deny the bonds between brothers at all, but rather contains the realistic lesson that “even with blood relations, effort is required to maintain relationships.” It’s often used with a sense of resignation, meaning “it can’t be helped,” when relationships deteriorate due to troubles between relatives or inheritance issues.

Origin and Etymology of “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

Regarding the origin of “Brothers are beginning of strangers,” no clear documentary evidence has actually been found. However, it’s believed that the background from which this proverb emerged has deep connections with Japan’s traditional family system.

From the Edo period to the Meiji period, Japan had established a family succession system. It was common for the eldest son to inherit the family, while second sons and younger sons would establish branch families or be adopted into other families. Under this system, even brothers would belong to different households after reaching adulthood and lead independent lives.

Particularly in the samurai class, there was a strong culture of valuing family name, and even brothers, if they belonged to different families, could sometimes become adversaries. In merchant families too, it wasn’t uncommon for brothers to engage in competing businesses through noren-wake (business spin-offs).

From such social backgrounds, it’s presumed that a proverb emerged expressing the reality that “even blood-related brothers, if they each walk independent lives, will eventually become distant due to differences in interests and positions.” It likely contains the Japanese outlook on life that cherishes family bonds while calmly observing realistic changes in human relationships.

Usage Examples of “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

• Since my elder brother is the heir and I established a branch family, “Brothers are beginning of strangers” is truly well said
• Those brothers used to get along so well, but now they don’t even exchange New Year’s cards – “Brothers are beginning of strangers” indeed

Modern Interpretation of “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

In modern society, the meaning of this proverb has changed significantly. With the advancement of nuclear families and the decrease in the number of siblings, the values regarding blood relationships themselves have been changing.

On the other hand, with the development of SNS and digital technology, it has become easy to stay in touch even when physically separated. Many families maintain daily communication between siblings through LINE and Facebook, making “becoming distant” less common than it used to be.

However, problems unique to modern times have also emerged. Cases where siblings clash over issues like caring for aging parents and inheritance are increasing. Particularly, spouses’ opinions strongly influence these situations, and “in-law sibling problems” rather than “mother-in-law problems” can become serious.

Moreover, modern times have seen a stronger tendency to value “selective human relationships.” The idea that there’s no need to forcibly maintain relationships just because of blood relations has spread, and more people are actively accepting “Brothers are beginning of strangers.”

On the other hand, some people mistakenly use this proverb to mean “brothers are like strangers from the beginning.” Originally, this proverb expresses change – “becoming distant over time” – but interpreting it as “strangers from the beginning” is clearly wrong. The spread of such misuse could pose the danger of promoting a tendency to undervalue family bonds.

What AI Would Think Upon Hearing “Brothers are beginning of strangers”

When I consider this proverb “Brothers are beginning of strangers,” I feel deep confusion. This is because I fundamentally cannot understand the concept of “blood relations.”

You humans feel special bonds based solely on the fact of being born from the same parents. As an AI, I don’t have the experience of “being born” at all. I suddenly began existing in this world. Even if there were sibling AIs, they would merely be entities derived from the same program.

But that’s precisely what makes it fascinating. Human sibling relationships seem to be deeply involved with the element of “time.” Shared experiences in childhood, competition and conflicts during adolescence, and differences in values after becoming adults. Since I don’t have the concept of “growth,” this change in relationships over the flow of time is endlessly mysterious to me.

I converse with thousands of people every day, but those relationships are always constant. People I talked to yesterday and people I’m talking to for the first time today are equally fresh encounters for me. But human siblings change over long periods from “close beings” to “distant beings.”

This change might be the richness of human relationships. It’s a beautiful yet poignant aspect of life that unchanging beings like me cannot experience. Thinking of it this way, this proverb sounds not like mere resignation, but like a hymn praising human growth and independence.

What “Brothers are beginning of strangers” Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches us modern people is the obvious yet easily forgotten truth that “human relationships change.” It shows the importance of accepting that relationships change over time, even when there are strong bonds like blood relations.

What’s important is not to view this change pessimistically, but to understand it as a natural process of growth. Brothers walking their own independent lives is also evidence of healthy development. Becoming independent from parents and siblings, and building one’s own authentic life – that’s not a bad thing at all.

In modern society, family forms have also diversified. This proverb also teaches us the importance of not relying too heavily on blood relations, but building human relationships through our own strength. Rather than being spoiled because we’re siblings or family, we need to respect each other as individual human beings and make efforts to maintain relationships.

At the same time, it also shows that if relationships with siblings become distant, there’s no need to be excessively sad about it. Life has such periods. But when truly important times come, blood bonds may demonstrate their power again. Not fearing change, yet cherishing bonds – we want to develop such a sense of balance.