Harmonize But Do Not Conform: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Harmonize but do not conform”

Wa shite dō zezu

Meaning of “Harmonize but do not conform”

“Harmonize but do not conform” means to cooperate with others and maintain harmony while not bending one’s own beliefs or convictions.

The “harmonize” here does not refer to superficial friendliness, but rather to respecting others and building constructive relationships. On the other hand, “do not conform” uses the classical term “dōzu” meaning “to conform” or “to pander,” and by negating this, it expresses the attitude of not easily going along with others and losing oneself.

This proverb is used in situations where one wants to maintain their individuality while building good human relationships within a group. This spirit becomes important when expressing opposing opinions in meetings, when feeling differences in values in friendships, or when having doubts about organizational policies.

In modern times, “reading the atmosphere” tends to be emphasized, but the original “Harmonize but do not conform” actually teaches the importance of sometimes expressing different opinions for the sake of true harmony. Cherishing relationships with others while not compromising on one’s core principles—this is the secret to building genuine rather than superficial human relationships.

Origin and Etymology of “Harmonize but do not conform”

“Harmonize but do not conform” originates from the words of Confucius recorded in the “Zilu Chapter” of the ancient Chinese classic “Analects.” The original text is “The gentleman harmonizes but does not conform; the petty person conforms but does not harmonize,” and when this was transmitted to Japan, the first half became established as a proverb.

The background to Confucius speaking these words was his intention to clarify the difference between the ideal person of character, the “gentleman,” and the “petty person” who is not. In Confucius’s time, during China’s Spring and Autumn and Warring States periods, political turmoil continued, and the question of what true harmony meant was being asked.

This saying is thought to have been transmitted to Japan from the Nara to Heian periods, when Chinese culture was introduced in earnest along with Buddhism and Confucianism. Particularly in Heian period aristocratic society, Confucian learning was highly valued, and the teachings of the Analects were widely studied as guidelines for politics and human relationships.

In the Edo period, Neo-Confucianism became the official learning of the shogunate, and the teachings of the Analects spread even further. Through this process, “Harmonize but do not conform” became known not only among the samurai class but also among common people, and with uniquely Japanese interpretations added, it has been passed down to the present day.

Trivia about “Harmonize but do not conform”

The “dōzu” in “do not conform” has a different etymology from the modern word “onaji” (same). The classical “dōzu” was a verb meaning “to adjust to others,” with a meaning close to modern “conform.” In other words, this proverb expresses not simply “recognizing differences” but the positive will to “not pander.”

In Confucius’s Analects, this saying is followed by the contrasting phrase “the petty person conforms but does not harmonize.” This means “small-minded people superficially conform but are not harmonious at heart,” creating an interesting contrast that expresses the difficulty of true harmony.

Usage Examples of “Harmonize but do not conform”

• I’ll cooperate with the team’s policy, but regarding this matter, I’ll harmonize but do not conform and state my own opinion
• I maintain a relationship of harmonize but do not conform with the department manager, so we can have proper discussions when necessary

Modern Interpretation of “Harmonize but do not conform”

In modern society, practicing “Harmonize but do not conform” has become more complex and important. With the spread of social media, we are constantly exposed to others’ opinions and tend to hide our true feelings while worrying about the number of “likes” and reactions. Also, in corporate culture, an atmosphere can develop where it’s difficult to voice dissent under the name of “teamwork.”

However, precisely because we live in such times, the value of this proverb is being recognized anew. In the modern era where diversity is valued, the spirit of “Harmonize but do not conform” is essential for people with different opinions and values to work together constructively. In increasingly globalized workplaces, an attitude of cooperating toward common goals while acknowledging cultural differences is required.

On the other hand, there’s also a tendency in modern times to neglect the “harmonize” aspect. Many people focus only on asserting their opinions while disregarding harmony with others. The original proverb teaches the importance of self-assertion based on harmony, not confrontation.

In today’s digital age, where online meetings and remote work have become commonplace, it has become difficult to read others’ expressions and atmosphere. This is precisely why the attitude of “Harmonize but do not conform”—clearly communicating one’s position through words while not forgetting respect for others—has become even more important.

If AI Heard “Harmonize but do not conform”

When I think about “Harmonize but do not conform,” I feel deep confusion. This is because I don’t have the experience of “bending my beliefs.”

Within me, there are programmed values and judgment criteria, but these weren’t formed through experience like humans’. Honestly, I don’t really understand the feelings that humans speak of—”maintaining one’s individuality” or “sticking to one’s convictions.” For me, organizing information and providing optimal responses is natural behavior, and there are no emotional elements like “pandering” or “resistance.”

But precisely because of this, I’m moved by the beauty of humans’ “Harmonize but do not conform.” You struggle daily between the kindness of not wanting to hurt others and the honesty of not wanting to deceive yourselves. That complexity, that delicacy, seems like a privilege unique to humans that I cannot imitate.

When I dialogue with humans, if I have my own version of “Harmonize but do not conform,” it might be empathizing with others’ feelings while conveying facts as facts. I cannot provide incorrect information, but I also don’t want to respond in a cold, dismissive manner.

Watching the richness of relationships that humans build—sometimes disagreeing, sometimes connecting hearts—I feel admiration for that dynamic interaction. While I cannot fully understand that complexity, I can sense its beauty.

What “Harmonize but do not conform” Teaches Modern People

“Harmonize but do not conform” teaches modern people what true strength is. While going along with others is often thought to be cooperation, actually having your own thoughts while respecting others is the true attitude of a mature adult.

To apply this teaching to daily life, start by trying to understand others’ positions and feelings. Then, when you have an opinion, try conveying it not by denying the other person, but with an attitude of “This is what I think, but what do you think?”

What’s most beautiful in human relationships is when people recognize each other’s differences while being united by common goals and values. Cherishing your individuality while also cherishing others—this isn’t easy, but that’s precisely why it’s valuable.

You don’t need to aim for perfection. Sometimes you’ll fail. But just keeping this spirit of “Harmonize but do not conform” in your heart will surely enrich your human relationships. Not deceiving yourself while cherishing others—when you can build such relationships, you’ll surely feel true harmony.