How to Read “The farther away, the more the feelings grow”
Tōzakaru hodo omoi ga tsunoru
Meaning of “The farther away, the more the feelings grow”
This proverb expresses a human psychological truth. The more physically distant you become from someone, the stronger your love and longing for them grows.
Many people have experienced this feeling. When you live apart from a lover, family member, or close friend, or when you can’t see them for a long time, you think about them more intensely. Your desire to see them increases.
People use this proverb when talking about long-distance relationships, work transfers, or studying abroad. When someone is nearby, you take their presence for granted.
But when they’re gone, you finally realize how important they are. Your feelings deepen.
Today, this saying applies to more than just romantic relationships. It describes the nostalgia someone feels when living far from their hometown. It captures the longing for someone who has passed away.
It works for any situation involving separation. The proverb captures a paradoxical truth about human hearts. Distance and time don’t cool feelings down. Instead, they make feelings stronger.
Origin and Etymology
No clear historical record shows when this proverb first appeared in literature. However, the structure of the phrase connects deeply to a universal theme in Japanese classical literature: the relationship between distance and romantic feelings.
Since the Heian period, “unrequited love” and “distant love” were important themes in waka poetry. In aristocratic society back then, lovers couldn’t meet frequently. They mainly communicated by exchanging letters.
The longer they couldn’t meet, the stronger their feelings grew. Many poets wrote about this psychology.
The word “tōzakaru” (to become distant) expresses not just physical distance but also separation in time. “Omoi ga tsunoru” (feelings grow) describes how emotions gradually become stronger and more intense.
These two phrases combine to express a mysterious quality of the human heart. The farther apart you are, the less you can meet, the more strongly you think about the other person.
This proverb applies to many types of separation. It works for romantic love, longing for one’s hometown, and remembering someone who died. It became established as an expression that reflects the delicate emotions of Japanese people.
Interesting Facts
Psychology recognizes a phenomenon called the “Romeo and Juliet effect.” This describes how obstacles make romantic feelings stronger. Research shows that distance as an obstacle produces a similar effect.
Time apart makes the other person’s existence feel more special.
Brain science research reveals something interesting. When you think about someone you can’t see, your brain sometimes shows stronger emotional activity than when you’re actually with them.
You tend to beautify and idealize the other person in your imagination and memory. So the phenomenon of growing feelings with distance has scientific support.
Usage Examples
- My daughter studying abroad called after a long time, and I truly understood “the farther away, the more the feelings grow”
- Since leaving my hometown for a job transfer, “the farther away, the more the feelings grow” – I keep dreaming about the scenery back home
Universal Wisdom
The human heart has a mysterious quality. We desire what we can’t have more strongly than what we already possess. We think more intensely about people far away than those nearby.
This proverb perfectly captures this essential human psychology.
Why do feelings grow stronger with distance? Because we are creatures who use imagination for “what isn’t here right now.” When something is right in front of us, we see both its good and bad sides.
But a distant person continues to shine beautifully in our memory. The longer we can’t meet, the more we remember only their good qualities. We replay happy moments together over and over in our minds.
This psychology serves an important function. It helps humans maintain hope. If feelings cooled the moment someone left, people couldn’t build deep bonds with anyone.
Because we can keep caring across distance, we can overcome difficulties. We can work hard toward reunion.
Our ancestors understood this mechanism of the human heart deeply. Separation isn’t an ending. Instead, it can become an opportunity to confirm and deepen feelings.
This proverb teaches us this truth. It contains profound wisdom about the essence of human relationships.
When AI Hears This
When someone is in front of you, the human brain receives information equivalent to several megabytes per second from vision and conversation. But when distance separates you, this information flow suddenly drops to nearly zero.
In information theory, when available information decreases, “entropy” or uncertainty rises sharply. The brain dislikes this state. Why? Because from a survival strategy perspective, not knowing the status of an important subject is dangerous.
What’s interesting is the brain’s response strategy. To compensate for lost information, it pulls data about the person from memory and tries to estimate their current state.
“What are they doing now?” “How do they feel?” This estimation work becomes high-load processing that calculates countless possibilities from limited information.
Just as weather forecasts require vastly more calculation for ten days ahead than three days ahead, less information means prediction needs enormous resources.
When the brain’s computing area stays assigned to that person for a long time, consciousness interprets this as “thinking about them constantly” – in other words, “feelings are growing.”
The true nature of emotion might actually be this information processing cost itself. When someone is nearby, fresh information keeps coming in, so prediction isn’t necessary. The brain can stay in energy-saving mode.
The farther away they are, the more the feelings grow because the brain’s desperate calculation work to fill the information gap surfaces in consciousness as emotion.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people that we don’t need to fear separation too much. As globalization advances, we have more opportunities to be physically distant from important people.
It’s natural to worry that distance might damage relationships.
But this proverb offers a different perspective. Separation can become an opportunity to reconfirm how important someone is. When you see someone every day, their presence becomes ordinary.
But when you’re apart, you realize how much color that person brought to your life.
What matters is how you spend time apart. Don’t just sink into loneliness. Use it to confirm your feelings for the other person. Think about who you want to be when you meet again.
By doing this, distance becomes a trial that deepens your relationship.
Thanks to technology, we live in an era where we can stay connected even when apart. But we should also cherish the “deepening of feelings” that physical distance creates.
View separation as an opportunity for growth. Live in the present while imagining the joy of reunion. This positive attitude will enrich your relationships.
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