How to Read “遠くの親戚より近くの他人”
Tooku no shinseki yori chikaku no tanin
Meaning of “遠くの親戚より近くの他人”
This proverb means that strangers who live nearby, even without blood ties, are more reliable and valuable in actual life than distant relatives who are blood-related.
It expresses the realistic teaching that when troubles or emergencies arise, those who truly help are not relatives living far away, but neighbors whom we see regularly. It shows that daily human relationships and geographical proximity are more important in real life than formal connections like blood relations. This proverb teaches not idealistic theories but realistic ways of human relationships, emphasizing the importance of building good relationships with neighbors. It also contains practical life wisdom that we should value trust relationships with people close to us rather than relying solely on blood ties.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is thought to have emerged from the actual conditions of common people’s lives during the Edo period. At that time, Japan had limited means of transportation, making communication and travel with distant relatives extremely difficult. Letter exchanges also took time, and in emergencies, they were usually too late to be of help.
On the other hand, in the merchant society of the Edo period, the bonds between neighboring residents in tenements and shopping districts were very strong, and the spirit of mutual aid was deeply rooted. When daily problems such as fires, illness, or business troubles occurred, those who actually helped were people living nearby, even without blood relations.
From this social background, the realistic wisdom emerged that geographical proximity and daily human relationships were more important in actual life than blood bonds. Particularly among merchants, relationships with trustworthy nearby companions often determined business success, creating fertile ground for this proverb to be widely accepted.
This is a very practical proverb born from the real experiences of people who keenly felt the importance of physical distance in an era when communication methods were not as developed as today.
Usage Examples
- I just moved here, but as they say “distant relatives rather than near strangers,” I should first become friends with the neighbors
- Even during disasters, “distant relatives rather than near strangers” proved true – in the end, it was the people next door who helped us
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the meaning of this proverb has become more complex. This is because the concept of physical distance has greatly changed with the spread of SNS and the internet. We can easily contact distant relatives, and online communication has become routine.
However, while digitalization advances, the essential value of this proverb could be said to have actually increased. During the COVID pandemic, the limitations of online connections became clear, and the importance of people who are actually nearby was rerecognized. In situations requiring physical support such as shopping assistance or care during illness, the presence of geographically close people was indeed indispensable.
In modern times, the definition of “nearby” has also expanded. Residents of the same apartment building, workplace colleagues, and people related to children’s schools would correspond to “near strangers.” However, there is also the reality that in urban areas, relationships with neighboring residents have become diluted, making it difficult to build the ideal relationships this proverb indicates.
Additionally, the concept of “chosen family” has emerged in modern times, and the value of human relationships not bound by blood relations has come to be more emphasized. This proverb can also be interpreted as having anticipated such modern ways of human relationships.
When AI Hears This
In today’s social media era, the fundamental concepts of “near” and “far” in this proverb have been completely transformed. We don’t even know the names of people living next door, yet we exchange daily messages and share our deepest concerns with people on the other side of the globe. This is a phenomenon occurring for the first time in human history.
What’s particularly fascinating is how the sociological theory of “the strength of weak ties” completely flips this proverb on its head. Stanford University research found that 70% of people who successfully changed jobs found their positions through information from “acquaintances they rarely meet.” In other words, “distant strangers” loosely connected through social media are overwhelmingly more useful than blood relatives in practical situations.
Furthermore, modern life has enabled “selective intimacy.” We can now find people worldwide who share our hobbies and values, building deep connections with them. Freed from geographical constraints, we can now choose “truly compatible strangers” and deepen our relationships with them.
This shift has changed the traditional mindset from “rely on neighbors when in trouble” to “access people with optimal expertise when in trouble.” Physical distance is no longer the measure—psychological distance and expertise have become the new standards of “closeness,” fundamentally redefining the very value of human relationships.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is the importance of “quality” in human relationships. It reminds us that trust relationships born from daily accumulation are more valuable in actual life than formal connections like blood ties or titles.
In busy modern society, we tend to focus on networking with distant “seemingly important” people, but what’s truly important is carefully nurturing relationships with people close to us. Casual conversations and mutual help with neighbors, workplace colleagues, and parents of our children’s friends become support when we need it most.
This proverb also teaches the importance of “giving.” To be relied upon by near strangers, we must first be reliable to them. Extending a helping hand to those in trouble, never missing greetings, accumulating small acts of kindness – such daily actions build trust relationships.
Precisely because we live in a digital age, we want to cherish the warmth of analog human relationships. Why not start deepening your relationships with the “near strangers” around you, little by little from today?
Comments