How to Read “Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house”
te-ki no i-e de-mo ku-chi wo nu-ra-se
Meaning of “Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house”
This proverb teaches that you should never neglect courtesy, even in your enemy’s house. You must value proper etiquette even toward your enemies.
Even if someone is your enemy, you must not forget the minimum courtesy you should maintain as a human being. The act of drinking a sip of water in your enemy’s house shows minimal trust and respect toward them.
This represents an attitude of not losing your dignity as a person, even when emotional conflict exists.
This proverb is used when you might forget to show respect to your opponent in situations of conflict or competition. It warns you to maintain basic courtesy toward business competitors, people with opposing opinions, or individuals you personally dislike.
In modern times, the word “enemy” may sound harsh. However, its essence is the universal teaching: “Show courtesy even to those who oppose you.”
This proverb reminds us of the importance of maintaining human dignity toward anyone, without being swept away by emotions.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records remain about the origin of this proverb. However, we can make interesting observations from the structure of the phrase.
Let’s focus on the expression “wet your mouth.” This refers to the minimal act of taking a sip of water or tea.
When you are thirsty, you do not refuse water offered to you, even in your enemy’s house. This action is thought to contain deep meaning.
In samurai society, there was a culture of valuing courtesy even in hostile relationships. Even when facing enemies on the battlefield, certain manners and etiquette existed.
For example, even after taking an enemy general’s head, treating it respectfully was honored as part of the bushido spirit. This attitude of not forgetting respect for enemies was highly valued.
This proverb is thought to reflect the ethical values of samurai society. The act of drinking water in your enemy’s house shows minimal trust and respect toward them.
No matter how much you hate someone, there is courtesy you must maintain as a human being. The expression “wet your mouth” was likely chosen as a concrete action showing this boundary.
Maintaining basic rules of human relationships even in hostile situations—this teaching may have been valued more precisely because it came from an era of constant conflict.
Usage Examples
- Just because he’s the president of a rival company, you should still show minimum courtesy, as “Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house” teaches
- I don’t agree with that person, but I try to interact with the spirit of “Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house”
Universal Wisdom
Behind the proverb “Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house” lies a fundamental truth about human society.
People are emotional beings. When someone hurts you or your interests conflict, feeling anger or hatred is natural. However, if you act purely on those emotions, society cannot function.
Hostile relationships escalate without limit, eventually leading to results where everyone gets hurt.
This proverb shows the wisdom of drawing a line between emotion and action. Whatever you think in your heart, maintain courtesy in your behavior.
This self-control is the dignity that makes humans truly human.
What’s interesting is that this proverb doesn’t say “love them” or “forgive them.” It simply says “wet your mouth”—maintain minimum courtesy. This is a very practical teaching.
You don’t need to like your enemy. But maintain the line of human decency. That’s what it’s saying.
Our ancestors knew this truth. As long as you live in society, you cannot choose relationships based only on likes and dislikes.
That’s why behavioral standards beyond emotions are necessary. This wisdom will never fade as long as people live in groups.
When AI Hears This
In the 1980s, political scientist Robert Axelrod conducted an experiment to explore “conditions under which enemies cooperate.” He invited experts worldwide to submit programs that would compete against each other.
Surprisingly, the winner wasn’t the most complex program. A simple strategy with just a few lines of code won. It was called “Tit-for-Tat.”
The core of this strategy was “always cooperate first.” In other words, even if the opponent is an enemy, you send a signal of goodwill first.
After that, you simply mirror the opponent’s behavior. If they cooperate, you continue cooperating. If they betray, you betray back next time.
This simple rule, when repeated thousands of times, generated the most profit.
“Wet your mouth even in your enemy’s house” is exactly this strategy. The minimal act of accepting kindness by wetting your mouth is mathematically the optimal first move.
Axelrod’s research showed that “showing cooperation on the first move” even in hostile relationships becomes the trigger that changes the opponent’s strategy toward cooperation.
Programs that started with betrayal ended up in a quagmire where both sides lost.
This proverb shows that humans already knew through experience the “optimal solution for cooperative evolution” that computers derived through tens of thousands of calculations.
Precisely because someone is your enemy, the strategic value of that first small act of goodwill is immeasurable.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches us emotional control, an important life skill for modern people.
In modern society with widespread social media, we frequently see conflicts of opinion quickly escalate into emotional attacks. Anonymity removes emotional restraints and makes people forget respect for others.
But precisely because of this, this proverb’s teaching holds more value than ever.
At work, at school, at home, we must interact with people we don’t necessarily like. If you act purely on emotion in those moments, you damage your own dignity and lose trust from those around you.
What’s important is recognizing that maintaining courtesy isn’t just for the other person. It’s an act that protects your own dignity above all.
People who can behave politely toward anyone possess the strength of not being controlled by their emotions.
Today, if you have an opportunity to interact with someone you find difficult, remember this proverb. You cannot change the other person, but you can protect your own dignity.
That is true strength.
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