How to Read “A faithful woman does not see two husbands”
Teijo wa ryōfu ni miezu
Meaning of “A faithful woman does not see two husbands”
“A faithful woman does not see two husbands” means that a woman of virtue does not serve two husbands.
Once a woman married, she would not remarry even if her husband died. She would remain faithful to that one husband for her entire life. This proverb expresses the virtue of chastity.
This saying was mainly used to praise women’s chastity and steadfast loyalty. Historically, people used it to honor women who never remarried after losing their husbands. It was also used to teach the nobility of having a devoted heart.
Today, the values this proverb represents are outdated. In modern society, individual freedom and the right to pursue happiness are respected.
Remarriage is a personal choice. The idea of demanding chastity one-sidedly is no longer accepted.
However, this proverb helps us understand what values past societies held. It shows us what was expected of women in those times.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to come from ancient Chinese classics. Confucian philosophy especially emphasized teachings that valued women’s chastity. This saying crystallized from those values.
The word “teijo” means a chaste woman or a woman of virtue. “Ryōfu ni miezu” means “does not see two husbands.”
The verb “mieru” here means “to meet” or “to serve” in modern Japanese. In classical Japanese, “miyu” had a humble meaning of “to have an audience with” or “to serve.” So it means not serving two husbands.
Confucianism taught the “Three Obediences.” A woman should obey her father in childhood, her husband in marriage, and her son after her husband’s death.
Within this framework, loyalty to one’s husband was absolute. Even if the husband died, not remarrying and remaining faithful to one husband was considered a virtue.
This philosophy came to Japan when Buddhism and Confucianism were fully adopted. In samurai society, these values were highly regarded.
They became established ethics that defined how women should live. This proverb was born and passed down through such historical contexts.
Usage Examples
- After losing her husband, she never remarried. Her life truly embodied “A faithful woman does not see two husbands.”
- In my grandmother’s time, “A faithful woman does not see two husbands” was taken for granted, but now individual freedom is respected.
Universal Wisdom
Behind the passing down of “A faithful woman does not see two husbands” lies a deep interest in the concept of “loyalty.” Why do people find it beautiful to devote one’s heart to a single object?
On the surface, this proverb teaches women’s chastity. But beneath that lies a timeless human ideal of “consistency” and “sincerity.”
Since ancient times, people have considered fickleness and betrayal shameful. They have honored being devoted. This quality has been valued not just in romance or marriage, but in all human relationships—friendship, master-servant bonds, and beliefs.
At the same time, this proverb reflects the imbalance in human society. Why doesn’t a proverb about “faithful husbands” exist?
There is a history of virtues like loyalty and devotion being demanded especially strongly from people in certain positions.
Humans tend to believe their society’s values are “universal truths.” But when times change, standards for what is virtuous and what is unjust also change.
This proverb asks us questions. Are the values we now take for granted truly universal? Are they forcing one-sided sacrifice on someone?
Perhaps such questions are the most important wisdom this proverb has left for the modern age.
When AI Hears This
Why does destroying your own options become advantageous? Game theory has a concept called “burning bridges strategy.” This is a method of cutting off retreat to make the other party believe “this person is serious.”
Consider a negotiation scenario. If Person A says “I absolutely won’t sign unless these conditions are met,” the other party might think “they’ll probably compromise anyway.”
But if Person A has a binding clause stating “I legally cannot contract under any other conditions,” the other party’s perspective changes. Person A truly has no other options, so the other party must seriously consider Person A’s conditions.
The constraint in this proverb—”can never choose another husband again”—has exactly this structure. People who keep options open give others the uncertainty that “they might change if better conditions appear.”
But people who completely close their options eliminate that uncertainty. From the other party’s view, the probability of betrayal is mathematically zero.
Mathematically speaking, it functions as a signal of reliability in cooperative games. By lowering your own degrees of freedom, you maximize the value of trust from others.
Having many options is not always advantageous. Rather, the decision to discard options can become the most powerful negotiating card.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is the need to reconsider the value of “being devoted” while rethinking who we demand this value from and how.
Certainly, the attitude of remaining sincere to one thing is beautiful. In work and relationships alike, the strength to keep facing something without easily changing your heart, including through difficult times, becomes the foundation of trust.
However, this only has meaning because it is a path you yourself have chosen.
In modern society, life choices have expanded dramatically. Changing careers, changing where you live, and even choosing a new life partner are all recognized as individual rights.
What matters is whether that choice is based on the person’s own will.
What we should learn from this proverb is not the old values themselves, but the attitude of constantly questioning “what does society demand from individuals?”
Are the norms you now take for granted truly fair and reasonable? Are they forcing one-sided burdens on someone?
Continuing to hold such questions is the first step toward creating a better society.
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