How to Read “The friendship of small people is as sweet as sweet wine”
Shōjin no majiwari wa amaki koto rei no gotoshi
Meaning of “The friendship of small people is as sweet as sweet wine”
This proverb means that relationships between people of low virtue feel sweet and pleasant at first. But they are actually superficial and don’t last long.
Relationships based only on mutual benefit or temporary fun seem very comfortable at first. Both people try to please each other and avoid conflict. However, these relationships lack deep trust and true understanding.
When the benefits disappear or things become inconvenient, the relationship easily breaks apart.
This proverb warns us not to be fooled by surface-level comfort in relationships. It points out the fragility of connections filled with sweet words, excessive flattery, and calculated kindness.
Even today, this teaching applies to many situations. Superficial interactions on social media and business relationships based only on profit are good examples.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb comes from the ancient Chinese classic “Book of Rites” (Liji). It appears in a chapter called “Biaoji.”
The original text forms a parallel phrase: “The friendship of the noble person is as bland as water; the friendship of small people is as sweet as sweet wine.”
The word “small people” (shōjin) is important to understand. In modern Japanese, a similar word means physically small people. But in classical texts, “small people” means something completely different.
It refers to people of low virtue who are easily swayed by immediate benefits and emotions. This is the opposite of “noble person” (kunshi).
“Rei” refers to a sweet alcoholic drink made in ancient China. People made it by fermenting rice or wheat. It tasted like sweet sake, pleasant and immediately enjoyable.
In contrast, water represents the friendship of noble people. Water has no taste or smell and seems plain. But it is essential for life.
This contrast contains deep insight. One type of relationship seeks surface sweetness and comfort. The other seems plain but is essential and long-lasting.
Ancient Chinese thinkers used familiar things like drinks to explain human relationships. This made their wisdom accessible to everyone.
Interesting Facts
“Rei,” the sweet wine, was a special drink used in ancient Chinese rituals and ceremonies. It had a short fermentation period and could be drunk quickly.
However, it didn’t last long and would spoil easily. This made it a perfect metaphor for the friendship described in the proverb.
The first part of the original phrase, “The friendship of the noble person is as bland as water,” is sometimes used independently in Japan. Knowing both parts helps you understand the beautiful contrast more deeply.
Usage Examples
- Our partnership with that company was like “the friendship of small people is as sweet as sweet wine.” As soon as profits dropped, they stopped contacting us.
- At first, he only gave compliments. But it was “the friendship of small people is as sweet as sweet wine.” When I refused his request, his attitude completely changed.
Universal Wisdom
Humans have an instinct to seek comfort. Sweet words, fun times, pleasant relationships. Everyone wants these things and feels drawn to them.
This proverb has been passed down for thousands of years. This is because humanity keeps making the same mistake over and over.
Why are relationships filled with surface sweetness so attractive? Because they provide instant satisfaction. Building deep understanding takes time and sometimes requires conflict.
Sharing honest feelings and accepting each other’s flaws is never easy. On the other hand, relationships where people only say convenient things feel good immediately.
But humans also fear loneliness and seek true connection. We need relationships where people support each other during difficult times. We need bonds of trust that go beyond self-interest.
These may not be sweet, but they are what we truly need in life.
Ancient wise people understood this contradictory human nature. They saw our weakness for immediate pleasure and our strength in seeking truth.
This proverb was born from a deep understanding of both sides of human nature.
When AI Hears This
Sweet wine left alone will definitely spoil. This follows the second law of thermodynamics, which describes “entropy increase.” This is an absolute law of the universe.
Any system without energy input inevitably moves toward disorder.
When we view human relationships as physical systems, interesting facts emerge. Sweet relationships are actually very unstable high-energy states.
Relationships where people only say convenient things are like supersaturated sugar water. A small disturbance causes instant crystallization, meaning collapse.
The friendship of noble people is bland because it exists in a low-energy, stable state. Like water in a refrigerator, it doesn’t require external energy to maintain order.
It is already close to equilibrium. That’s why it lasts long.
The important point is that maintaining sweet relationships requires enormous energy. You must constantly please the other person and hide inconvenient truths.
This is like a refrigerator consuming electricity continuously. When energy input stops, decay begins immediately.
The fragility of the friendship of small people is not a moral issue. It is physical necessity. Thermodynamics does not allow relationships that don’t pay the “order maintenance cost” of honesty.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people to develop the ability to recognize what is genuine in relationships. Don’t be fooled by the number of social media likes or surface-level compliments.
Think about what truly trustworthy relationships really are.
The important thing is not to settle for relationships where you only provide “sweetness.” Have the courage to build relationships where you can say difficult things and speak honestly.
This may feel uncomfortable at first. But bonds that support each other during difficult times are born from accumulating such honesty.
Also, this proverb is not just for criticizing others. It is also a mirror for reflecting on how you interact with people.
Are you only providing surface sweetness to others? Are you truly thinking of the other person and trying to build lasting relationships?
True friendship and trust take time to grow. Don’t rush. Be sincere. Move forward one step at a time.
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