How to Read “To form relationships in the world requires gold”
Sejin majiwari wo musubu ni ōgon wo mochiu
Meaning of “To form relationships in the world requires gold”
This proverb describes the reality that maintaining relationships and social connections requires money. Dining with friends, giving gifts, and participating in weddings and funerals all involve spending money. These expenses are unavoidable in social life.
Ideally, human relationships should be built on emotional bonds alone. However, in reality, we need money to show respect and goodwill toward others. We also need it to follow social etiquette. This proverb honestly acknowledges this reality of human society.
The situation this proverb describes hasn’t changed in modern times. Maintaining friendships and expanding business networks both require some financial resources. This isn’t about being calculating. It’s about stating a basic condition for living in society as a human being.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb likely came to Japan through the influence of classical Chinese thought and literature. “Sejin” means people in the world, “ōgon” means money, and “mochiu” is an old word meaning to need or require.
In China, there has long been much discussion about the role of money in human relationships. Confucian thought taught ideals about relationships while also observing the realities of social interaction. This proverb likely emerged from such realistic observations of human nature.
After reaching Japan, people accepted it as reflecting their own experience, especially during the Edo period when commerce flourished. Not just samurai but also townspeople in thriving urban areas experienced daily the reality that relationships required money.
The use of the old word “mochiu” suggests this expression was created quite long ago. We cannot identify its first appearance in literature. However, its formal Chinese-style expression suggests it was likely used among educated classes. This proverb takes a somewhat harsh view that directly faces the reality of human society.
Usage Examples
- After becoming a working adult, I came to deeply understand the meaning of “To form relationships in the world requires gold”
- My parents taught me that “To form relationships in the world requires gold,” so I now consider social expenses as part of my living costs
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down for so long because it captures an unavoidable truth about human society. We all wish to build relationships based purely on sincere feelings. But we also know that living within society’s framework requires following certain forms and etiquette.
Humans are social creatures. We cannot live in isolation and must always interact with others. Society has customs and practices developed over long history. Giving money at celebrations, condolence gifts at funerals, and presents to show gratitude aren’t mere formalities.
These are ways to express feelings that words alone cannot fully convey. They represent wisdom for showing emotions in concrete form.
This proverb shows the balance between ideals and reality. While the heart is certainly important, expressing that heart appropriately in society also requires material backing. This isn’t cold calculation but rather mature adult wisdom.
Our ancestors valued living simply but didn’t deny money’s role in social life. Their perspective that saw both sides is this proverb’s universal value.
When AI Hears This
Relationships mediated by gold are typical examples of “weak ties” in network theory. These aren’t emotionally deep friendships but shallow connections based on interests and transactions. Interestingly, sociologist Granovetter discovered that in job hunting, information from “occasional acquaintances” was more useful than from close friends.
Why? Close friends exist in the same information sphere, so their knowledge overlaps. Weak ties, however, provide access to different information spheres.
Gold-based relationships create exactly this structure. Money as a universal medium instantly connects strangers beyond fixed networks like blood or regional ties. Consider merchant networks, for example. Merchants across regions formed wide networks through the weak ties of trade, efficiently distributing information and goods without deep friendships.
More important is the concept of “betweenness centrality.” This shows the value of bridging different groups. Those with gold can move between groups that wouldn’t normally interact, gaining high betweenness centrality. Gold isn’t just a tool for socializing but a means to buy strategic position within networks.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of realistic preparation in relationships. Everyone wants to cherish friends and build good relationships. But turning those feelings into actual actions requires some economic foundation. This proverb teaches us that reality.
That’s why planning your life from a young age matters, including budgeting for social expenses. This isn’t about being calculating. It’s practical wisdom for maintaining relationships with important people and becoming a trusted person in society.
At the same time, this proverb poses a question. Just because money is necessary doesn’t make it the essence of relationships. Both proper form and sincere heart matter. Even with limited budgets, you can convey sincerity through creativity.
The key is having balanced judgment that fulfills social responsibilities while never forgetting genuine feelings. This is what builds mature human relationships.
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