How to Read “Show your parents a smile three times a day”
Oya ni wa ichinichi ni sando waratte miseyō
Meaning of “Show your parents a smile three times a day”
This proverb teaches that you should greet your parents with a smile every day to give them peace of mind.
Parents always worry about their children. When they see their child troubled or suffering, parents feel pain even more deeply than if it were happening to themselves.
That’s why, even when you’re going through hard times, showing a smile to your parents tells them “I’m okay.” This reassures them and eases their worries.
The specific number “three times a day” emphasizes the importance of showing your smile regularly—morning, noon, and night.
Today, this proverb is used to teach the importance of acting cheerfully when you call parents who live far away or when you visit home.
It remains a practical piece of wisdom about how to show respect and care for your parents.
Origin and Etymology
There are no clear historical records about the exact origin of this proverb. However, we can understand its background through the structure of the phrase and traditional Japanese family values.
The specific mention of “three times a day” is particularly interesting. It likely refers to the three main divisions of the day: morning, noon, and night.
This may be connected to the Edo period and later, when common people’s lives became more stable and eating three meals a day became standard practice.
Mealtimes were important moments when families gathered together. The teaching to show a smile at each meal to reassure parents may have emerged from this context.
This proverb can also be seen as a concrete expression of filial piety influenced by Confucian thought in Japan.
However, it doesn’t appear in this exact form in Chinese classics. It seems to have developed as a uniquely Japanese expression.
The phrase “show a smile” is also worth noting. It uses the word “show” rather than suggesting a natural smile.
This implies you should consciously act cheerful in front of your parents, even when you’re struggling. This reflects the Japanese spirit of thoughtfulness and consideration for others.
Usage Examples
- Since I started living alone, I follow the spirit of “Show your parents a smile three times a day” by always acting cheerful when I go home
- Even when I’m worried about work, I remember “Show your parents a smile three times a day,” so I try to sound energetic on the phone
Universal Wisdom
This proverb contains a deep understanding of human nature in parent-child relationships.
Why do people not want to worry their parents? It’s because they know the time and love their parents have devoted to them.
From the moment a child is born, parents spend years and decades wishing for that child’s happiness. Children who understand this weight naturally feel “I don’t want to cause them more worry.”
What’s interesting is that this proverb doesn’t tell you to “hide your true feelings.” Rather, it teaches the importance of controlling your emotions for the sake of someone you love.
Everyone has difficult times. But you can choose who sees your pain and how you show it.
As parents age, they become more sensitive to their children’s expressions. They notice even slight changes in facial color.
That’s why consciously creating a smile becomes necessary. This isn’t being fake—it’s a form of truth expressed through consideration for others.
This proverb has been passed down through generations because it captures a universal form of love. It shows both the child’s feelings for their parents and the parents’ feelings for their child.
When you truly care about someone, you wish for their peace of mind. That’s a fundamental human truth.
When AI Hears This
Human memory isn’t an accurate recording device. It’s an editing function that captures and stores impressive moments.
In Kahneman’s experiments, even the unpleasant experience of putting your hand in cold water could be remembered as “not so bad” just by raising the temperature slightly at the end.
In other words, the peak moment and the ending impression dominate memory more than the total duration of the experience.
This reveals the cleverness of the “three times a day” setting. By spreading smiles across morning, noon, and night, you create multiple positive peaks in your parents’ daily memory.
If you showed the same smile for a long time all at once, it would only create one peak. But by dividing it into three times, it’s recorded in your parents’ brains as “a day with many happy moments.”
This applies the frequency bias from behavioral economics. People tend to judge abundance by frequency rather than quantity.
Even more interesting is that the evening smile is positioned at the end of the day. According to the peak-end rule, a smile before bedtime is strongly remembered as the “ending.”
When parents go to bed, their child’s smile floats in their mind. If this repeats daily, the long-term memory forms a narrative of “happy parenting.”
This strategy can be called an emotional management technique that reduces parents’ worries.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is that consideration for loved ones must be shown through concrete actions.
Just thinking “I don’t want to worry them” isn’t enough. You need to actually show a smile.
In modern society, sharing your worries on social media has become normal. But how would your parents feel if they saw those posts?
Even when living far apart, your situation reaches them through the internet. That’s why you might need to be a bit careful about the image of yourself you show your parents.
Of course, you don’t need to hide everything and act tough. When you’re truly in trouble, you should ask for help.
What this proverb teaches is that you don’t need to burden your parents with every small daily worry or fatigue.
Handle what you can handle yourself, and then show your parents a reassuring face. That’s kindness as an adult.
Your smile is the greatest gift to your parents. Why not start consciously showing a brighter expression from today?
That would be the best way to honor your parents.
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