How to Read “親馬鹿子馬鹿”
Oyabaka kobaka
Meaning of “親馬鹿子馬鹿”
“Parent fool child fool” is a proverb that describes a state where parents become blind due to excessive doting on their children, while the children also lose their independence by being overly dependent on their parents.
This proverb points out problems that arise as a result of excessive parent-child affection. When parents love their children too much, they become unable to see their children’s faults or problems, or they end up forgiving everything – this situation is expressed as “parent fool.” On the other hand, “child fool” refers to the state of children who have become accustomed to their parents’ overprotective love and fail to develop the ability to think or act for themselves.
The situations where this proverb is used are mainly when the boundary between affection and indulgence becomes ambiguous in parent-child relationships. It is often used by people around them who observe excessive parental doting or children’s dependent attitudes, with the intention of giving advice or warning. Even in modern times, when considering children’s education and discipline, it holds important meaning as a lesson for understanding the difference between appropriate expressions of love and overprotection.
Origin and Etymology
“Parent fool child fool” is thought to be an expression that originated among common people during the Edo period. This phrase appears in literature relatively recently, becoming visible in dictionaries and literary works from the Meiji period onward.
The word “baka” (fool) itself originally comes from the Buddhist term “moka,” meaning “foolish person.” However, “baka” in this proverb is not used to simply indicate foolishness, but rather carries the meaning of “excessive” or “beyond common sense.”
It is presumed that this expression became established as a way to express the depth of affection in parent-child relationships within the merchant culture of the Edo period. In the society of that time, family bonds were highly valued, and by deliberately using the word “baka” to express the strength of parents’ feelings for their children and children’s affection for their parents, it had the effect of highlighting the depth of that love.
The background to this expression becoming widely used lies in the family values of the common classes such as merchants and craftsmen during the Edo period. They valued blood ties above all else and considered the honest expression of parent-child affection a virtue. Within such cultural soil, this warm proverb was born and has been passed down to the present day.
Usage Examples
- That family is completely Parent fool child fool – their son is already 30 years old but can’t do anything by himself
- To avoid becoming Parent fool child fool, it’s important to sometimes be strict as well
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the concept of “Parent fool child fool” has taken on more complex and serious meaning. With the declining birthrate, single children and families with two children have become the norm, creating an environment where parental love and expectations tend to be concentrated.
Particularly noteworthy are the influences of economic prosperity and the information society. While the material environment that the parent generation can provide for their children has improved, opportunities to compare with other families through SNS and the internet have increased. As a result, there has been an increase in “educationally enthusiastic” parent fools who excessively pursue their children’s success and happiness, or conversely, parent fools who become overprotective to avoid hurting their children.
Modern “child fools” also show characteristics different from the past. While materially blessed, there are increasing numbers of young people whose mental independence is delayed, becoming a social problem as so-called “adults who cannot fully become adults.” Cases where parents accompany job hunting activities or call workplaces are not uncommon.
However, considering the complexity and fierce competition of modern society, parents’ desire to protect their children is also understandable. What’s important is finding a balance between affection and supporting independence. Modern Parent fool child fool is not simply a problem of indulgence, but has become an educational and growth issue that society as a whole should consider.
When AI Hears This
“Oya-baka ko-baka” (doting parents, doting children) actually represents a sophisticated cognitive system that humanity evolved for survival. From a neuroscientific perspective, when parents perceive their children as “special,” it’s the result of powerful love circuits created by a hormone called oxytocin.
This love circuit triggers the “halo effect” in parents. When they see one positive aspect of their child, all other aspects appear positive too—a cognitive bias that colors their entire perception. Additionally, “confirmation bias” kicks in, causing parents to unconsciously focus only on their child’s strengths while overlooking or downplaying weaknesses.
What’s fascinating is that this “biased cognition” is actually essential for child-rearing. Psychological research shows that when parents are too objective about their children, they express less affection, leading to lower self-esteem in their kids. Conversely, children raised by “doting” parents develop secure attachment and demonstrate higher social adaptation skills later in life.
In other words, parental doting isn’t foolishness—it’s a biological program that ensures children’s survival and growth. This proverb captured humanity’s essential love mechanism with remarkable accuracy, centuries before science could explain it.
Lessons for Today
What “Parent fool child fool” teaches modern people is that love requires appropriate distance. Because we love, we sometimes need the courage to let go and trust in the other person’s growth while watching over them.
In modern society, similar problems tend to occur not only in parent-child relationships but also between supervisors and subordinates in the workplace, between lovers, and in friendships. Because we care deeply about someone, we may end up being overly helpful or impose our own values without respecting the other person’s judgment.
True love means supporting the other person’s independence and growth. Rather than getting ahead of them out of fear of failure, we should provide opportunities to learn from failure and be there to support them when they’re in trouble. Such balance is what we who live in modern times need.
When you love someone, try stopping for a moment to think, “Is this action for the other person’s benefit, or is it to ease my own anxiety?” True love sometimes includes strictness and maintaining distance. When you understand such depth of love, your human relationships will surely become richer and healthier.
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