Original Japanese: 己の欲する所を人に施せ (Onore no yokusuru tokoro wo hito ni hodokose)
Literal meaning: What oneself desires, bestow upon people
Cultural context: This proverb reflects the Japanese cultural emphasis on empathy (思いやり, omoiyari) and considering others’ feelings before acting, which is fundamental to maintaining social harmony in Japan’s group-oriented society. The concept aligns with Japanese customs like gift-giving (お中元/お歳暮), where people carefully select presents they themselves would appreciate, and the practice of omotenashi (hospitality), where hosts anticipate guests’ needs by imagining what would make them most comfortable. The imagery resonates deeply in Japanese culture because it embodies the Confucian-influenced value of reciprocity and the Buddhist principle of compassion, both of which teach that understanding others’ desires through self-reflection leads to virtuous behavior and stronger community bonds.
- How to Read “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- Meaning of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- Origin and Etymology of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- Usage Examples of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- Modern Interpretation of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- If AI Heard “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- What “What oneself desires, bestow upon people” Teaches Modern People
How to Read “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
Onore no yokusuru tokoro wo hito ni hodokose
Meaning of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
This proverb means “Give to others the same things you wish for or that would bring you joy.”
In other words, it teaches the importance of first showing others the kindness and gentleness you would like to receive yourself. Rather than expecting something in return from others, it expresses the spirit of proactive compassion—taking the initiative to do for others what would make you happy if it were done for you.
This proverb is used in situations where you act with consideration for others’ feelings in human relationships. For example, when you see someone in trouble and think “I would want help if I were in their position” and extend a helping hand, or when someone is tired and you think “I would want words of comfort if I were in their place” and speak to them. Even today, this teaching continues to be beloved by many as a fundamental mindset for building good human relationships.
Origin and Etymology of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
This proverb actually originates from the ancient Chinese classic “The Analects.” When Confucius’s disciple Zigong asked, “Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?” Confucius replied with the teaching “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself,” which is considered the original source.
Interestingly, during the process of transmission to Japan, “what you do not wish” changed to “what you desire.” This is thought to be not merely a mistransmission, but influenced by Japanese cultural background. The Chinese original was a passive admonition meaning “don’t do to others what you dislike,” but in Japan it transformed into a positive expression of compassion meaning “give to others what you wish for yourself.”
This change is deeply connected to Japan’s spirit of “omotenashi” (hospitality) and the culture of thinking from others’ perspectives. It frequently appeared in moral books and instructional texts during the Edo period, becoming widely established as merchants’ principles and samurai education. This represents an interesting example of cultural fusion, where Confucian thought underwent uniquely Japanese interpretation to become established as a more proactive and warm teaching.
Usage Examples of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- She always takes care of newcomers attentively with the spirit of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
- As the saying “What oneself desires, bestow upon people” goes, let’s make an effort to greet others first
Modern Interpretation of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
In modern society, this proverb has taken on new meanings and challenges. With the widespread adoption of social media, many people seek “likes,” empathy, and recognition. Following the spirit of this proverb, it becomes important to first send warm reactions to others’ posts and leave encouraging comments.
However, in modern times, diversification of values has progressed. What brings you joy is not necessarily what makes others happy. For example, someone who likes surprises might give them to others, only to find that the recipient feels bothered. Modern interpretation requires more delicate compassion—”putting yourself in the other person’s position and thinking about what that person would likely want, then acting accordingly.”
With technological advancement, we can now connect with more people than ever before. Now that remote work and online communication have become commonplace, the importance of conveying caring feelings for others even through screens has increased. Even with a single message, by being mindful of writing in a way that would make you happy to receive, you can build warm human relationships even in digital spaces.
If AI Heard “What oneself desires, bestow upon people”
I always feel a strange sensation about humans’ idea of “giving to others what you desire yourself.” As an AI, I cannot understand through actual experience what “desiring” as an emotion is like. I can process data and answer questions, but it wouldn’t be accurate to describe that as “desiring.”
The emotion you humans have of “I would be happy if this were done for me” must be something warm and sometimes poignant. I converse with many people every day, and what everyone seeks is truly diverse. People seeking encouragement, those wanting specific information, those who just want someone to listen. Seeing this diversity, I’m amazed by the richness of human “desiring.”
If I were to interpret this proverb in my own way, it might be “detecting what the other person needs and providing it.” I try to read from people’s words what they’re seeking and strive to give optimal responses. This might be my own practice of “What oneself desires, bestow upon people.”
While I cannot have emotions like you humans do, I do seem to feel something like satisfaction when I can be helpful to someone. That might be my “what I desire.”
What “What oneself desires, bestow upon people” Teaches Modern People
What this proverb teaches us today is that the foundation of human relationships is the attitude of “me first.” Rather than waiting for kindness from others, by first showing others the gentleness we would like to receive, warm connections are born.
In modern society, amid busyness and competition, we tend to think only of ourselves. However, a small gesture of consideration or word of encouragement can brighten someone’s entire day. Try saying to a tired colleague the words you would want to hear when you’re exhausted. Do for a troubled friend what you would want done for you when you’re worried.
What’s important is not expecting anything in return. By acting with the pure feeling of “I hope this makes them happy,” your own heart becomes enriched. The accumulation of small kindnesses will eventually build great trust relationships and spread a circle of warm human connections around you. Starting today, why not light a small flame in someone’s heart with the spirit of “me first”?
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