How to Read “Do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself”
Onore no hossezaru tokoro wa hito ni hodokosu nakare
Meaning of “Do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself”
This proverb shows a basic principle of human relationships. If you don’t want people to say hurtful words to you, don’t say them to others. If you don’t want to be treated in an unpleasant way, don’t treat others that way.
It teaches us to use our own feelings as a guide for how we treat others.
People use this expression when they want to emphasize the importance of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. We often overlook how our actions affect other people.
But if we use our own emotions as a mirror, we get a clear standard for judging what’s appropriate and what’s not.
This principle works in all kinds of situations today. It applies to workplace relationships, family interactions, and communication with friends.
This proverb teaches us that the starting point of caring for others is being honest about our own feelings first.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to come from the Analects, a classic text representing Confucian thought in China. When Confucius’s disciple Zhonggong asked about “benevolence,” Confucius gave this answer.
The original text is “己所不欲、勿施於人.” The Japanese translation of this became the proverb we know today.
What’s interesting is that this teaching isn’t just a moral lesson. It expresses the core of what Confucius called “ren,” or benevolence.
Ren meant compassion and empathy toward others. It was the most important virtue in Confucianism.
Confucius didn’t give his disciples abstract ideals. Instead, he offered this as practical guidance they could use in daily life.
Confucian thought came to Japan from China long ago. It was widely studied especially during the Edo period, mainly among the samurai class.
Through this process, this teaching became established as a Japanese proverb. The word “hodokosu” means “to give” or “to do.”
It conveys the importance of always being aware of how our actions affect others. This proverb has been passed down to this day as proof that Confucian teachings took deep root in Japanese moral values.
Interesting Facts
This proverb is a universal teaching. Similar expressions exist in many cultures around the world.
The Christian Bible has the Golden Rule: “Do to others what you would have them do to you.” Islam and Hinduism also have similar teachings.
This shows that humanity has long recognized the importance of mutual understanding and empathy.
The expression “onore no hossezaru tokoro” uses “hossezaru,” which is classical language meaning “do not wish” or “do not want.”
In modern Japanese, we say “hoshikunai,” but here it doesn’t refer to material desires. It points to spiritual wishes and emotions.
Even in the choice of words, we can feel the wisdom of our ancestors trying to capture the subtle movements of the human heart.
Usage Examples
- How can someone do things to others that they themselves would hate? Don’t they know the saying “Do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself”?
- They say “Do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself,” and since I’d feel hurt if someone ignored me, I’ll make sure to listen properly when others speak.
Universal Wisdom
The universal wisdom this proverb shows is a truth. Human empathy is the foundation that makes society work.
We are all beings who feel both joy and pain. We use our own emotions, the most familiar and reliable source of information we have, to understand the hearts of others.
This is an extremely practical method based on deep insight.
Why do people hurt others? In most cases, it comes from a lack of imagination. They don’t think about how their actions will affect the other person.
But this proverb teaches us: “You don’t need to think too hard. Just put yourself in their place.”
What makes you sad will make others sad. What makes you angry will make others angry. This simple principle becomes the key to solving complex problems in human relationships.
Thinking more deeply, this teaching assumes the equality of human dignity. If your feelings matter, then others’ feelings matter just as much.
Times change and cultures differ, but the value that people should be respected as people never changes.
This proverb has been passed down for thousands of years because it touches on a fundamental principle of human society.
When AI Hears This
In the 1980s, political scientist Robert Axelrod invited researchers from around the world to submit computer programs for a repeated prisoner’s dilemma game tournament.
Among the complex programs that participated, one written in just four lines of code won overwhelmingly. It was called “Tit for Tat.”
The strategy was surprisingly simple. Cooperate on the first round, then from the second round onward, just copy whatever the opponent did last time.
When we analyze mathematically why this strategy is strong, we discover something interesting. If the opponent cooperates, you keep cooperating too, so both sides keep gaining benefits.
If the opponent betrays, you immediately betray back, so the opponent learns that betrayal doesn’t pay.
In other words, the attitude of “not doing to others what you don’t want done to you” becomes the most efficient signal to encourage cooperative behavior in others.
Put differently, behaving morally is actually the rational strategy that maximizes your own benefit.
What’s even more important is that this strategy requires “repetition,” meaning an ongoing relationship. In a one-time interaction, betrayal might pay off.
But if the relationship will continue, respecting the other person’s position benefits you in the long run.
Confucius’s teaching assumes that human relationships aren’t one-time events but continue over time. This perfectly overlaps with the mathematical conclusions of game theory.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is that empathy is the most powerful tool for enriching human relationships.
A casual comment on social media, your attitude at work, how you treat your family. In every moment of daily life, we face choices.
At those times, pause and ask yourself: “If someone said this to me, how would I feel?”
Modern society has become a place where more diverse values intersect than ever before. That’s exactly why this ancient wisdom shines with new light.
The act of putting yourself in someone else’s position becomes a bridge connecting people from different backgrounds.
You don’t need to be perfect. Sometimes you’ll make mistakes. But the attitude of trying to imagine the other person’s feelings is already a big step forward.
Your small act of consideration might brighten someone’s day. Your kindness will eventually come back to you too.
Do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself. With these words in your heart, why not start living a little more in tune with others’ hearts, beginning today?
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