How to Read “恩を仇で返す”
On wo ada de kaesu
Meaning of “恩を仇で返す”
“Return favor with enemy” means to harm or betray someone who has been kind to you or taken care of you, instead of showing gratitude.
This proverb expresses one of the most shameful acts a person can commit. It emphasizes the wickedness of taking malicious actions that are the complete opposite of what should be done – showing gratitude to someone who deserves it. It is used when someone clearly acts ungratefully or when witnessing acts of betrayal of trust.
The reason for using this expression is to highlight the moral gravity of the act, rather than simply saying “betrayed” or “did something terrible.” Because one has received benefits, the betrayal becomes more serious and unforgivable.
Even today, it is used for acts such as taking confidential information when leaving a company that has taken care of you, or entrapping someone who has been caring toward you. As an act that breaks the basic trust in human relationships, it is still used with strong condemnation.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of “Return favor with enemy” is thought to trace back to Chinese classics. The concept of “on” (favor/grace) was one of the important virtues in ancient Chinese Confucian thought, where showing gratitude for received benefits and repaying them was considered the human way.
This expression is presumed to have been introduced to Japan during the era when continental culture flowed in along with Buddhist and Confucian thought. Similar expressions can be found in Heian period literature, and it appears to have been used as moral teaching in human relationships from that time.
The word “ada” (enemy) was originally used to mean “enemy” or “something that causes harm.” In other words, this expression represents the most shameful human act of returning harm instead of repaying favor with favor, as one should naturally do.
It frequently appeared in moral books and instructional texts of the Edo period, and was positioned as an important admonition within the samurai code and merchant ethics. Particularly in master-servant and teacher-student relationships, this act was strictly warned against as the gravest act of betrayal.
This proverb can be said to be an expression that has been engraved in the hearts of Japanese people for a long time, not just as a matter of human relationships, but as a fundamental moral concept that supports the trust relationships of society as a whole.
Interesting Facts
The Chinese character “on” (恩) is composed of “in” (因) and “kokoro” (心), representing events deeply engraved in the heart that should be appreciated – causes for gratitude. On the other hand, “ada” (仇) originally was a combination of “kyū” (九) and “hito” (人), said to mean an opponent that many people are hostile toward.
Among Edo period merchants, there was a teaching that “never do business twice with someone who returns favor with enemy,” and this was considered fundamental to commercial ethics that valued trust. Those who committed this act even once were sometimes completely excluded from merchant society.
Usage Examples
- That person spreading bad rumors about a senior who took such good care of them is truly an act of returning favor with enemy
- Suing a company that supported you for many years – this is exactly what returning favor with enemy means
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the concept of “Return favor with enemy” presents a more complex aspect. While the spread of social media has made past favor relationships more visible, the rise in individual rights consciousness has led to questioning the very concept of traditional “on” (favor).
Particularly in workplace environments, changes can be seen in the interpretation of this expression. Internal whistleblowing, which was previously considered “returning favor with enemy” to the company, may now be justified as public interest reporting in some cases. Reporting power harassment or compliance violations is no longer seen as betrayal but as social responsibility.
On the other hand, new forms of “returning favor with enemy” have emerged, such as influencers and YouTubers betraying companies or fans who supported them, or misusing confidential information from previous jobs when changing careers. In digital society, the impact of such acts tends to remain over a wider range and for longer periods.
Modern people are required to distinguish between true benefits and one-sided control, and to discern between favors that deserve gratitude and dependent relationships that should be severed. While this proverb remains an important moral guideline today, its application requires more careful judgment than ever before.
When AI Hears This
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, repaying kindness with cruelty can be explained as a “status reversal strategy.” Our human ancestors lived in small groups where social hierarchy was directly linked to survival. Receiving a favor psychologically places someone in a subordinate position to the benefactor, which may be unconsciously perceived as a “survival threat.”
What’s particularly fascinating is that people often repay kindness with cruelty not immediately after receiving help, but after some time has passed. This occurs because the “burden of gratitude” accumulates over time, eventually becoming unbearable stress. Research by psychologist Robert Cialdini shows that when people feel indebted, they tend to become subordinate to others due to the “reciprocity principle.” However, when this subordinate state becomes prolonged, it triggers “psychological reactance” that actually generates aggressive backlash.
Furthermore, attacking one’s benefactor can be interpreted as a strategy to send the message “I don’t depend on anyone” to the surrounding group, thereby establishing an independent status within the community. While this appears immoral on the surface, from an evolutionary standpoint, it might actually be adaptive behavior aimed at “severing dependence on others and surviving as a self-reliant individual.” This explains why even in modern times, excessive gratitude can sometimes become a “poison” that destroys human relationships.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is the importance of the “weight of memory” in human relationships. In our busy daily lives, we tend to forget someone’s kindness or support as something taken for granted, but each of these is actually a precious gift.
In modern society, while individual rights and freedom are emphasized, human connections tend to become diluted. However, this proverb reminds us not to forget that we are supported by someone’s goodwill to become who we are today.
What’s important is understanding the difference between feeling gratitude and being bound by it. Healthy feelings of gratitude help people grow, but excessive obligation can sometimes become a burden. True repayment of favor might be passing the favor received on to someone else.
You too, try remembering someone’s small kindness today. And share that warm feeling with someone else. By doing so, this world should become a slightly kinder place. Rather than returning favor with enemy, we want to be people who circulate favor with favor.
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