How to Read “Rather than flatter the inner rooms, flatter the kitchen”
おくにこびんよりはむしろかまどにこびよ
Meaning of “Rather than flatter the inner rooms, flatter the kitchen”
This proverb teaches that you should value people who do practical, useful work rather than flatter those with power or high positions.
It emphasizes the importance of recognizing the worth of people who actually make things happen and handle real tasks. Don’t be dazzled by outward authority or titles.
In organizations and groups, the person at the top doesn’t always hold the real power. The people who know the workplace and keep daily operations running are the ones who can actually solve your problems.
This proverb teaches you to value relationships with people who have practical influence.
Even today, formal position and actual influence often don’t match. Who can you really rely on? Who will actually help you?
The wisdom this proverb conveys is about developing the ability to see this essential truth.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to originate from a story recorded in the Chinese classic “Book of the Later Han.”
During the Later Han dynasty, when eunuchs held power, someone left behind the words “Rather than flatter the inner rooms, flatter the kitchen.”
Here, “inner rooms” refers to the master’s quarters deep within the mansion—where the powerful person resides. Meanwhile, “kitchen” means the cooking area with the hearth, where meals were actually prepared.
In large mansions of that time, the steward or cook who managed practical matters often had more influence over daily life than the formal master.
This saying emerged against the backdrop of a social structure that has existed since ancient times. It contrasts people with high formal status but no real power with those of lower status who actually make decisions.
The question of which to prioritize is packed into this short phrase.
The proverb came to Japan along with Chinese classics. It was passed down as a lesson emphasizing practical matters in samurai society and merchant houses.
As wisdom for seeing substance over form, this proverb has been told for generations.
Usage Examples
- Rather than desperately trying to win over the company president, “Rather than flatter the inner rooms, flatter the kitchen”—building a good relationship with the site supervisor will make work go more smoothly
- Instead of petitioning important people at the government office, as they say “Rather than flatter the inner rooms, flatter the kitchen,” consulting properly with the counter staff might solve things faster
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down for so long because it recognizes a universal phenomenon that always exists in human society: the gap between appearance and substance.
People instinctively have their attention drawn to things that stand out, things that are glamorous, things with authority. But those who actually move society are often people working quietly in unnoticed places.
Our ancestors keenly perceived this truth.
Trying to ingratiate yourself with powerful people may seem like clever social strategy at first glance. But it’s only a superficial relationship and may offer no help when you’re truly in trouble.
On the other hand, trusting relationships with people who handle daily tasks may be unglamorous, but they become a force that reliably supports you.
All humans have a desire to be recognized and valued. That’s why we feel value in being acknowledged by people with authority.
But this proverb calmly points out this psychological trap in human nature. It teaches us where truly important relationships lie.
The ability to see substance over form—this is important wisdom for living life that doesn’t change no matter how times change.
The teaching our ancestors left contains truths that resonate deeply with us living in the modern world.
When AI Hears This
In network science, information doesn’t necessarily flow from the top of the power structure. Rather, when we look at actual information distribution, we find that people who control the “narrow passages” through which information routinely passes have the most influence.
Consider a company organization, for example. The president is certainly at the top of the power structure. But there are people like general affairs staff and secretaries who actually gather information from the field and transmit it to each department.
Without going through these people at the “information passage points,” no decision gets implemented. Network theory calls this “betweenness centrality,” and nodes with high values have greater influence over the entire network.
What’s interesting is research analyzing SNS diffusion patterns. Results show that “bridge” accounts connecting multiple communities have stronger power to spread information widely than celebrities with many followers.
In other words, even without being at the center of power, if you’re positioned to control information flow, your practical influence is extremely large.
What this proverb perceives is precisely the principle that modern network science has proven with formulas. True power in organizations lies not in “high position” but in “control of information flow.”
Ancient people understood the bottleneck effect in networks through empirical rules.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches you today is the importance of the ability to see the essence of things.
People who stand out on social media, people with impressive titles, people who look glamorous—don’t be misled by such superficial elements. Building truly valuable relationships is the shortcut to a fulfilling life.
Whether at work, school, or in your local community, there are people who actually support the field. Notice their existence, show them respect, and build good relationships.
This isn’t calculating behavior. Rather, it’s understanding society’s true nature and living honestly.
When you’re in trouble, who will really reach out to help you? It won’t necessarily be someone with high status.
Small daily kindnesses, cooperation in practical work, mutual support in the field—the accumulation of such relationships enriches your life.
Rather than spending time on formal relationships, cherish substantial trust relationships. That’s where true security and fulfillment lie.
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