How to Read “Feed the hawk you hate”
Nikuki taka e wa esa wo kae
Meaning of “Feed the hawk you hate”
This proverb teaches that when dealing with hostile opponents or difficult people, it’s more effective to win them over with benefits rather than trying to suppress them with force.
Everyone resists when attacked and fights back when oppressed. But when given benefits, their hostility softens. They might even become allies.
This proverb shows us a wise way to resolve conflicts.
People use this saying in workplace relationships, business negotiations, and organizational disputes. It applies whenever you need to handle an adversarial relationship.
You might say, “I’m in conflict with that person, but ‘Feed the hawk you hate,’ so let me first look for areas where we can cooperate.”
This wisdom still works today. If you try to defeat opponents with force, you might win temporarily but create lasting resentment.
However, if you offer solutions that consider their interests too, you can even turn enemies into allies.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records explain the origin of this proverb. But we can make interesting observations from how the phrase is constructed.
First, notice the choice of the word “hawk.” Hawks have been used for falconry in Japan since ancient times. They held special significance for the warrior class.
Capturing wild hawks and training them to obey humans required advanced skills. Force never worked. Instead, trainers fed the hawks and gradually built trust.
Even fierce birds of prey would eventually perch on human hands.
The expression “hawk you hate” is also interesting. Hawks used in falconry were normally treasured. But adding the word “hate” symbolizes hostile opponents or difficult individuals.
“Kae” in “esa wo kae” means “give.” In classical Japanese, “kau” meant “to nourish” or “to give.” This differs slightly from the modern meaning of “to raise animals.”
This proverb likely emerged from the concrete experience of training hawks. That practical knowledge evolved into wisdom about human relationships.
In warrior society, managing relationships with hostile forces was crucial. Such practical wisdom probably crystallized into this saying.
Usage Examples
- A partnership with our rival company came up, but following “Feed the hawk you hate,” let’s first explore conditions that benefit both sides
- To persuade opposition lawmakers, we should embrace the spirit of “Feed the hawk you hate” and include policies that benefit their districts too
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because it deeply understands human nature. Everyone seeks their own benefit and tries to avoid loss.
Understanding this fundamental desire is the key to mastering human relationships.
Interestingly, this proverb focuses on “effectiveness” rather than “justice” or “morality.” Whether you hate someone or whether they’re right doesn’t matter.
What matters is the practical wisdom of how to resolve conflict and achieve your desired result.
Humans are emotional creatures. We naturally want revenge against those we hate. But our ancestors knew the foolishness of following such emotions.
If you attack someone out of temporary emotion, they’ll strike back. Hatred breeds hatred, and conflict only deepens.
But giving benefits breaks this vicious cycle. It lowers their guard, softens their hostility, and can even build cooperation.
This is skillful use of human psychology. It shows sophisticated social intelligence.
This proverb teaches that true strength isn’t forcing others to submit. It’s knowing how to move people’s hearts.
Times change, but how human hearts work doesn’t. That’s why this wisdom still shines today.
When AI Hears This
In the 1980s, political scientist Robert Axelrod held a computer tournament for a game. The rules were simple: cooperation benefits both players, but betrayal gives one side a big advantage.
However, if both betray, both lose. Complex programs from around the world entered this repeated game. But the winner used the simplest strategy.
It was called “tit for tat.” Start by cooperating. If the opponent betrays, betray back next time. But if they return to cooperation, immediately cooperate again.
The core of this strategy is “speed of forgiveness.” If you retaliate forever against betrayal, both sides get stuck in a quagmire of mutual loss.
Mathematical calculations show that in 100 rounds, mutual cooperation earns both players 300 points. But a revenge war earns both only 100 points.
In other words, even with a hated opponent, offering the bait of cooperation creates a situation where they must cooperate too.
What’s fascinating is that this strategy isn’t “naive” but “coldly calculated.” Forgiving the opponent isn’t kindness. It’s the mathematically optimal solution for maximizing your own benefit.
What computers calculated without emotion perfectly matches ancient proverb wisdom. Human intuition may have been unconsciously performing sophisticated probability calculations all along.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people that the real power to resolve conflict lies in understanding others and building win-win relationships.
In today’s social media world, disagreements quickly escalate into fierce arguments. But defeating someone in debate is different from solving problems.
Even if you crush your opponent, conflict only deepens. You never reach a fundamental solution.
At work, at school, at home, you probably have difficult people or opponents around you. When that happens, remember this proverb.
Don’t fight them. Instead, look for solutions that consider their interests too.
This isn’t weakness. It’s the strength to avoid being swept by emotion and seek the best long-term result.
The power to move hearts and turn enemies into allies is the true strength needed in coming times.
Next time you face conflict with someone, pause before trying to force your way through. What’s the “bait” for them? Is there a path that benefits both?
That perspective will surely enrich your relationships and your life.
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