How to Read “夏おはぎと娘の子はたばいにくい”
natsu ohagi to musume no ko wa tabai nikui
Meaning of “夏おはぎと娘の子はたばいにくい”
This proverb expresses the meaning “even if you want to obtain something, it is difficult to acquire” or “even if you desire something, it doesn’t go as you wish.”
“Tabai” comes from the classical Japanese honorific verb “tabau” (to eat), and here it is used in the broader sense of “to obtain” or “to acquire.” Ohagi in the hot summer season is out of season and difficult to eat, and children born to daughters belong to other families, so grandparents cannot freely dote on them – this expression combines these two “difficult to obtain things.”
This proverb is used when expressing situations where something is strongly desired but is difficult to realize due to various circumstances or constraints. Rather than simply saying “impossible,” it is used to express subtle difficulties such as “it exists, but conditions don’t align” or “timing doesn’t match.” Even today, we can use this old expression to eloquently describe situations that don’t go as planned due to systems, customs, timing, and other reasons.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is not certain, but it is thought to have emerged as an expression deeply rooted in the lifestyle and seasonal sensibilities of the Edo period.
Let’s first look at “summer ohagi.” Ohagi was originally a seasonal Japanese confection eaten during the autumn equinox. It was considered most delicious when made with fresh azuki beans during the autumn harvest season. If one tried to make ohagi during the hot summer period, in an era when preservation techniques were underdeveloped, the ingredients would spoil easily, and people’s appetites would be diminished, making it difficult to get people to eat them.
On the other hand, “daughter’s child” refers to a child born to a daughter – that is, a grandchild. In old Japan, it was common for daughters to enter their husband’s family upon marriage and become part of that household. Therefore, children born to daughters would become heirs to other families, and while maternal grandparents might love them, it was difficult to keep them close and raise them.
Thus, this expression was born from the common point that both “exist but don’t go as one wishes” and are “difficult to obtain.” It can be said to be a truly skillful metaphorical expression that embodies the lived experiences of people in the Edo period.
Usage Examples
- Even though I found a good property, it’s like “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle” – it’s not progressing to contract.
- The deal with that company is like “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle,” so it’s better not to expect much.
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the “difficulty of obtaining” expressed by this proverb appears in more complex and diverse forms. In the information age, desired information and products can be easily found on the internet, but the difficulty of obtaining “truly valuable things” and “things optimal for oneself” remains unchanged.
For example, while job information overflows in the employment market, finding an ideal workplace that perfectly matches one’s conditions is difficult. Also, while we can connect with many people through social media, gaining friends with whom we can build truly deep relationships is not simple. These can be called modern versions of “summer rice cakes and daughter’s children.”
Furthermore, the importance of “timing” has become more pronounced in modern times. In important life decisions such as stock investment, real estate purchases, job changes, and marriage, missing the appropriate timing often results in lost opportunities. Precisely because information is transmitted instantly in modern times, judging “now is the time” has become more difficult.
This proverb teaches modern people the accepting heart that “not everything going as planned is natural.” It shows the importance of a realistic and positive attitude of doing one’s best within constraints, rather than seeking perfection excessively.
When AI Hears This
The effects of summer heat on the human brain are phenomena proven by modern neuroscience. Research shows that when temperatures exceed 28°C (82°F), activity in the brain’s prefrontal cortex decreases, weakening our ability to suppress impulsive behavior.
What makes this proverb fascinating is that people in the Edo period already intuitively understood this psychological mechanism. The liberating feeling of summer isn’t just a matter of mood—it’s an actual physiological change that dulls our judgment. The neurotransmitter serotonin increases during summer months, leading to both emotional excitement and decreased rational thinking.
The pairing of “sweet rice cakes” and “young women” is also brilliant. Both symbolize fundamental human desires—our craving for sweetness and our longing for affection. Psychology tells us that heat-induced stress increases our desire for sugar, while romantic feelings also tend to intensify. This happens because rising body temperature triggers physiological responses similar to states of excitement.
Ancient people were wary of summer as “a season when reason loosens.” Even today, the prevalence of summer festivals and seaside romances isn’t coincidental—it’s part of our biological nature. The ancients’ insight that seasons influence the human heart was scientifically accurate all along.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is “the wisdom of accepting things that don’t go as planned.” In modern times, when we see others’ success on social media or have too many choices due to information overload, we tend to think “I want to have everything” or “it’s meaningless unless it’s perfect.” However, life may become more profound precisely because of constraints.
What’s important is not giving up, but “doing the best we can now.” Even when ideal conditions aren’t met, we can devise solutions within those constraints and find enjoyment. If ohagi is difficult to eat in summer, there should be delicious foods specific to summer. If we can’t see our daughter’s children frequently, the joy when we do meet them will be all the greater.
In modern society, rediscovering the value of what we have now, rather than being obsessed with what we can’t obtain, may be the shortcut to happiness. This proverb offers a gentle voice saying “that’s okay” to those who have become exhausted from seeking perfection. Rather than lamenting life’s constraints, let’s cultivate hearts that cherish small happiness within them.
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