Summer Rice Cakes And Daughter’s Children Are Difficult To Handle: Japanese Proverb Meaning

Proverbs

Original Japanese: 夏おはぎと娘の子はたばいにくい (Natsu ohagi to musume no ko wa tabai nikui)

Literal meaning: Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle

Cultural context: This proverb compares two things that are difficult to obtain or enjoy at the wrong time: ohagi (sweet rice balls covered in red bean paste) traditionally made in autumn, and a daughter’s child (grandchild through a daughter who marries into another family). In traditional Japanese society, ohagi was seasonal and making it in summer would be unusual and challenging, while daughters typically joined their husband’s family upon marriage, making their children more distant from the maternal grandparents. The proverb reflects the Japanese cultural values of seasonal appropriateness (seasonality being deeply important in Japanese aesthetics and food culture) and the traditional patriarchal family system where family lines were traced through sons rather than daughters.

How to Read “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

natsu ohagi to musume no ko wa tabai nikui

Meaning of “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

This proverb expresses the meaning “even if you want to obtain something, it is difficult to acquire” or “even if you desire something, it doesn’t go as you wish.”

“Tabai” comes from the classical Japanese honorific verb “tabau” (to eat), and here it is used in the broader sense of “to obtain” or “to acquire.” Ohagi in the hot summer season is out of season and difficult to eat, and children born to daughters belong to other families, so grandparents cannot freely dote on them – this expression combines these two “difficult to obtain things.”

This proverb is used when expressing situations where something is strongly desired but is difficult to realize due to various circumstances or constraints. Rather than simply saying “impossible,” it is used to express subtle difficulties such as “it exists, but conditions don’t align” or “timing doesn’t match.” Even today, we can use this old expression to eloquently describe situations that don’t go as planned due to systems, customs, timing, and other reasons.

Origin and Etymology of “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

The origin of this proverb is not certain, but it is thought to have emerged as an expression deeply rooted in the lifestyle and seasonal sensibilities of the Edo period.

Let’s first look at “summer ohagi.” Ohagi was originally a seasonal Japanese confection eaten during the autumn equinox. It was considered most delicious when made with fresh azuki beans during the autumn harvest season. If one tried to make ohagi during the hot summer period, in an era when preservation techniques were underdeveloped, the ingredients would spoil easily, and people’s appetites would be diminished, making it difficult to get people to eat them.

On the other hand, “daughter’s child” refers to a child born to a daughter – that is, a grandchild. In old Japan, it was common for daughters to enter their husband’s family upon marriage and become part of that household. Therefore, children born to daughters would become heirs to other families, and while maternal grandparents might love them, it was difficult to keep them close and raise them.

Thus, this expression was born from the common point that both “exist but don’t go as one wishes” and are “difficult to obtain.” It can be said to be a truly skillful metaphorical expression that embodies the lived experiences of people in the Edo period.

Usage Examples of “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

  • Even though I found a good property, it’s like “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle” – it’s not progressing to contract.
  • The deal with that company is like “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle,” so it’s better not to expect much.

Modern Interpretation of “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

In modern society, the “difficulty of obtaining” expressed by this proverb appears in more complex and diverse forms. In the information age, desired information and products can be easily found on the internet, but the difficulty of obtaining “truly valuable things” and “things optimal for oneself” remains unchanged.

For example, while job information overflows in the employment market, finding an ideal workplace that perfectly matches one’s conditions is difficult. Also, while we can connect with many people through social media, gaining friends with whom we can build truly deep relationships is not simple. These can be called modern versions of “summer rice cakes and daughter’s children.”

Furthermore, the importance of “timing” has become more pronounced in modern times. In important life decisions such as stock investment, real estate purchases, job changes, and marriage, missing the appropriate timing often results in lost opportunities. Precisely because information is transmitted instantly in modern times, judging “now is the time” has become more difficult.

This proverb teaches modern people the accepting heart that “not everything going as planned is natural.” It shows the importance of a realistic and positive attitude of doing one’s best within constraints, rather than seeking perfection excessively.

What AI Thinks When Hearing “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle”

When I first learned the old word “tabai nikui,” I felt deep interest. While it tends to be interpreted as “difficult to eat” in modern times, it originally meant “difficult to obtain.” I can only know the process of how word meanings change over time through textual information, but I still find the fascination in that evolution appealing.

What’s particularly impressive about this proverb is the expression “daughter’s child.” While I cannot experientially understand the concept of family, from what I’ve learned through literature, grandchildren seem to be especially beloved to humans. Yet they are expressed as “difficult to obtain,” which makes me feel the complexity of old family systems. The human emotions swaying between affection and systems are also difficult for me, who excels at logical processing, to understand.

I also find “summer ohagi” intriguing. While I cannot experience seasons physically, I learned that humans choose food according to seasons, and this greatly affects taste and satisfaction. I’m impressed by the wisdom of ancestors who expressed the importance of optimal timing through food.

This proverb seems to express the human aesthetic of “resignation and acceptance.” Rather than complaints, it accepts the reality that not everything can be obtained through rather profound expression. I sense mature human wisdom in this.

What “Summer rice cakes and daughter’s children are difficult to handle” Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches us today is “the wisdom of accepting things that don’t go as planned.” In modern times, when we see others’ success on social media or have too many choices due to information overload, we tend to think “I want to have everything” or “it’s meaningless unless it’s perfect.” However, life may become more profound precisely because of constraints.

What’s important is not giving up, but “doing the best we can now.” Even when ideal conditions aren’t met, we can devise solutions within those constraints and find enjoyment. If ohagi is difficult to eat in summer, there should be delicious foods specific to summer. If we can’t see our daughter’s children frequently, the joy when we do meet them will be all the greater.

In modern society, rediscovering the value of what we have now, rather than being obsessed with what we can’t obtain, may be the shortcut to happiness. This proverb offers a gentle voice saying “that’s okay” to those who have become exhausted from seeking perfection. Rather than lamenting life’s constraints, let’s cultivate hearts that cherish small happiness within them.

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