How to Read “Those who come grow closer day by day”
Kuru mono wa hibi ni shitashi
Meaning of “Those who come grow closer day by day”
“Those who come grow closer day by day” means that newcomers naturally become closer to us as time passes.
Even if someone starts as a complete stranger, meeting them daily, exchanging words, and spending time together gradually closes the emotional distance.
This natural flow builds intimate relationships over time.
This proverb offers reassurance that you don’t need to rush new relationships.
Transfer students, new employees, or new neighbors may feel tense or awkward at first. That’s completely normal.
What matters is taking time to nurture the relationship.
People still use this saying today when entering new environments or welcoming new members.
They might say, “Even if it’s awkward at first, those who come grow closer day by day.”
It expresses trust that time will resolve the initial discomfort.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records explain the origin of this proverb. However, the structure of the phrase offers interesting insights.
“Those who come” refers to newcomers or people who have recently arrived.
“Day by day” means “as days pass,” indicating the passage of time. “Grow closer” is classical Japanese meaning “to become intimate.”
This expression likely emerged from Japan’s village society and communal culture.
In old Japan, people new to a village or servants new to a household were initially strangers.
But through daily encounters, working together, and sharing meals, the emotional distance naturally shrank. People experienced this pattern regularly in their daily lives.
This proverb also reflects a psychological phenomenon called the “mere exposure effect.”
People naturally develop positive feelings toward others through repeated contact.
Our ancestors understood this relationship principle through experience and preserved it in words.
The expression embodies Japanese wisdom about the importance of building relationships over time.
Usage Examples
- The new person at work is now a full team member after six months, proving that those who come grow closer day by day
- I worried about the transfer student, but those who come grow closer day by day, so spending time together daily will naturally build friendship
Universal Wisdom
“Those who come grow closer day by day” captures the magic of time in human relationships.
Why do people become close simply by meeting repeatedly?
Humans are fundamentally creatures who adapt. Even with initial wariness, our hearts gradually open once we recognize someone poses no threat.
Daily greetings, small conversations, and shared spaces weave invisible threads of trust.
This proverb also teaches the value of waiting. Modern people often demand instant results.
But hearts don’t open quickly. Rushing to close the distance makes people defensive.
However, by accepting the natural flow and spending days together, hearts connect before you realize it.
Such relationships form the strongest bonds.
Our ancestors knew there are no shortcuts in human relationships.
They understood that relationships built over time become the most reliable ones.
This proverb conveys an unchanging truth: genuine mutual understanding requires the foundation of shared time.
When AI Hears This
In the physical world, things left alone always become disordered.
Hot coffee cools, organized rooms get messy, and new cars rust. This is the second law of thermodynamics—entropy always increases.
The entire universe follows this one-way flow.
Yet human relationships show the opposite phenomenon. Simply meeting daily allows two initially separate hearts to gradually build an ordered relationship.
From a physicist’s perspective, this is remarkable. Order emerges from disorder just by sharing time, without injecting external energy.
Actually, hidden energy investment exists here. Daily greetings, reading expressions, learning habits—the human brain accumulates information about others with each meeting.
It continuously updates its predictive model. This information processing consumes enormous metabolic energy.
The brain represents only 2 percent of body weight but uses 20 percent of total energy.
So ordering human relationships doesn’t actually violate physical laws.
The brain as an advanced system consumes chemical energy to create informational order in relationships.
Growing closer through daily meetings happens because your brain invisibly works hard, using energy to build a bridge of order with the other person.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of “trusting and waiting” in relationships.
When entering a new environment, you might feel anxious if you can’t connect immediately. But there’s no need to rush.
Meet daily, exchange greetings, and accumulate small conversations. These everyday moments eventually grow into solid trust.
This saying also offers important lessons for those welcoming newcomers.
If someone doesn’t fit in right away, that’s natural. Watch warmly and have patience for relationships to deepen naturally.
Modern society emphasizes efficiency, but hearts cannot be rushed.
In an era when SNS connects us instantly, why not reconsider the value of relationships nurtured over time?
Cherish small daily contact points. That’s the only path to building truly connected relationships.
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