How to Read “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait”
Ko yashinawan to hossuredomo oya matazu
Meaning of “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait”
This proverb means that even if you want to show filial devotion, it’s too late once your parents have passed away.
It expresses life’s irony. By the time children gain financial and emotional stability to repay their parents, the parents are often no longer alive.
When we’re young, we’re too busy with our own lives to appreciate our parents. We don’t notice how much they’ve done for us.
But as we age and gain life experience, we begin to understand. We realize how much our parents sacrificed to raise us with care and love.
When we finally think “Now I can show my gratitude,” our parents are already elderly or gone. This is the painful reality the proverb describes.
The saying serves as a warning to act before it’s too late. It teaches us to express gratitude and do what we can while our parents are still healthy and alive.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to originate from classical Chinese teachings. It shows strong influence from Confucian philosophy, especially teachings that emphasize filial piety.
The expression “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait” uses classical Chinese literary style. The formal phrasing itself suggests this wisdom came to Japan from Chinese classics.
“Yashinawan to hossu” means “wants to care for.” “Matazu” means “doesn’t wait.” This elegant structure reflects its ancient origins.
During the Edo period and after, Confucian thought spread widely among common people in Japan. This proverb became established as a saying that teaches the importance of filial piety.
Life expectancy was much shorter in those days than now. Many people experienced losing their parents early. The words resonated deeply because they reflected real, painful experiences.
A similar saying exists in simpler Japanese: “Oya kōkō shitai toki ni wa oya wa nashi” (When you want to show filial devotion, your parents are gone).
However, “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait” is more formal and classical. It has been used in literature and moral teachings throughout history.
Usage Examples
- When I heard my father was hospitalized, the words “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait” flashed through my mind
- If you keep putting it off because you’re still young, you’ll end up with “A child wants to care for their parents, but the parents don’t wait”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb speaks to a cruel truth about human growth and the passage of time. We only recognize the value of many things after gaining experience.
Our parents’ love and sacrifice is one of those things.
When we’re young, we’re absorbed in expanding our own world. School, friendships, romance, careers. Everything seems to shine brightly.
Our parents’ presence feels like ordinary background scenery. Their nagging seems annoying. Their worry feels overprotective.
But after experiencing life’s hardships and becoming someone who supports others, we finally understand. We realize how much love and sacrifice our parents poured into us.
Only then do we think, “I wish I had been kinder back then” or “I should have listened more carefully.” But this realization comes too late.
Human growth takes time. And parents also age with time. These two timelines never move at the same pace.
By the time children recognize their parents’ love, the parents have already reached the twilight of their lives.
This proverb perfectly captures this universal mismatch. That’s why it has resonated with people’s hearts for hundreds of years.
When AI Hears This
A parent’s aging is like water spilled from a cup. It can never return to its original state.
This reflects a fundamental principle of the universe shown by the second law of thermodynamics. This law teaches that entropy, or disorder, always increases.
Just as a broken egg cannot be unbroken, the change from youth to old age never reverses. This is absolute.
What’s interesting is that this irreversibility has probabilistic inevitability. For example, a room naturally becomes messy even after cleaning.
This happens because there are overwhelmingly more patterns of “messy states” than “organized states.” Mathematically, organized states might number in the hundreds, while messy states number in the trillions.
Similarly, the cells and molecules that make up the human body have far more patterns in aged states than in young, organized states. That’s why aging is probabilistically unavoidable.
More importantly, energy lost in this process can never be recovered. The time and energy parents invested in raising children dissipates as heat into the universe.
It’s gone forever. When children try to repay their debt, their parents’ life energy is also in the process of dissipation.
The missed opportunity for filial devotion is itself part of the one-way flow toward the heat death of the universe.
The regret of “I didn’t make it in time” is actually a protest against physical laws. The arrow of time never points backward.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people about the preciousness of “now.” We tend to postpone things, thinking “someday” or “eventually.”
But we must not forget that “someday” might never come.
Modern society is busy. Many people live far from their parents. Work and our own families keep us occupied.
We may have fewer chances to visit our childhood homes. But that’s exactly why this proverb’s lesson is so important.
Filial devotion doesn’t need to be something special. A phone call, a short message, an occasional visit. These small accumulations create relationships without regret.
Don’t wait for the day when you can show perfect filial devotion. Start with small things you can do today. That’s what matters.
This teaching applies not just to parent-child relationships but to all important human connections. If there’s someone you want to thank or cherish, today is that day.
There’s no guarantee that person will be there tomorrow. Action over regret. That’s the essential message of this proverb.
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