How to Read “可愛い子には旅をさせよ”
Kawaii ko ni wa tabi wo saseyo
Meaning of “可愛い子には旅をさせよ”
This proverb teaches that the more you love a child, the more you should send them away from their parents to train in harsh environments.
“Cute child” doesn’t simply mean an adorable child, but refers to one’s own precious child, a child in whom you have high expectations for the future. And “travel” doesn’t mean modern sightseeing trips, but rather places of training accompanied by hardship and difficulties. In other words, if you truly love your child, rather than spoiling them and keeping them close, you should deliberately send them out into harsh environments to strengthen them.
This proverb is used when you want to encourage a child’s independence and growth, or as advice to parents who tend to be overprotective. It teaches that true parental love is not about helping children avoid facing difficulties, but about helping them develop the strength to overcome those difficulties. Even today, this phrase is sometimes used for parents who feel anxious when their children leave home for employment or education.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is generally believed to be rooted in the educational policies of merchant families during the Edo period. Merchants of that time deliberately sent their sons, who would become successors, on harsh training journeys to raise them properly.
In Edo period merchant families, it was not uncommon for young men to serve as apprentices in merchant houses in other regions. By leaving their parents and working in unfamiliar places, they learned everything from the basics of commerce to how to interact with people in a practical way. This “travel” was not mere sightseeing, but a place of harsh training.
Similar customs existed in samurai society as well. It was believed that young samurai would polish not only their skills but also their character by training as warriors in other domains.
This proverb became widely known because this educational philosophy based on actual experience spread to common people as well. The idea that parental love is not about keeping children close and spoiling them, but sometimes about sending them out into harsh environments, became established as a traditional Japanese approach to child-rearing. The reason it has been passed down to modern times is that this teaching resonated with many people’s hearts.
Interesting Facts
In Edo period merchant families, this “travel” was usually set for seven years. As the phrase “seven years of apprenticeship” suggests, it was common to train at other houses from around age 14 to around age 21. During this period, meeting one’s parents was rarely permitted.
Interestingly, these young people in training received no salary during this period. Instead, they received food, clothing, shelter, and technical instruction, truly embodying the situation of “buying hardship even if you have to pay for it.”
Usage Examples
- My son seems to be hesitating about studying abroad, but as they say “To cute child make travel do,” so I’ll give him a push
- I’m worried about letting my daughter live alone, but I’ve decided to watch over her with the spirit of “To cute child make travel do”
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, we can see significant changes in the interpretation of this proverb. With the advancement of the information society, not only physical “travel” but also new challenges and ventures into unknown fields have come to be regarded as “travel.”
With technological development, parents can constantly know their children’s whereabouts and communicate with them daily through social media. This is vastly different from the Edo period environment of “seven years without communication.” However, this convenience also has the aspect of encouraging overprotectiveness.
Modern “travel” has diversified. Various forms of challenge can be considered, such as studying abroad, starting a business, changing jobs, or learning in new fields. Also, for the digital native generation, participating in new online communities or learning in virtual environments could be considered a kind of “travel.”
On the other hand, there are also challenges specific to modern society. Due to economic instability and employment difficulties, there are increasing cases where parents hesitate to send their children on “journeys.” Also, due to safety considerations, it has become more difficult to boldly send children into unknown environments as was done in the past.
Nevertheless, the essential value of this proverb remains unchanged. The idea that children need appropriate difficulties and challenges for growth is supported by modern educational psychology as well.
When AI Hears This
Modern parents are trapped by the equation “love = protection,” believing that shielding children from various risks is the hallmark of good parenting. However, statistics reveal the ironic consequences of this overprotection. Anxiety disorder rates among American college students have doubled over the past 20 years, while Japan faces a growing crisis of “instruction-dependent syndrome” among people in their twenties.
Research by psychologist Peter Gray shows that children whose free play and adventures are restricted experience significant declines in problem-solving abilities. The more parents preemptively remove obstacles, the less their children develop “frustration tolerance.” This works just like muscles—without stress, they don’t grow stronger.
What’s fascinating is Finland’s educational system. They let children play freely in forests until age six, actively encouraging experiences like falling down and getting lost. As a result, their academic performance remains among the world’s best.
“Send the child you love on a journey” teaches us that the highest form of love is actually “letting go.” Today’s overprotection paradox creates a contradiction where love itself robs children of growth opportunities. Perhaps true love means having the courage to send children into the unknown world, even while suppressing our own anxieties.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is that true affection means believing in someone’s growth and watching over them. This applies not only to parent-child relationships, but also to guiding subordinates at work and friendships.
In modern society, precisely because we can stay constantly connected through social media, we tend to forget the importance of maintaining appropriate distance. However, people can only gain true confidence and ability through the experience of facing difficulties alone.
If you care deeply about someone, don’t rob them of opportunities to challenge themselves. Rather than fearing failure and always recommending safe paths, sometimes giving them a push is also an expression of love. And if you yourself are hesitating about a new challenge, it might be a chance for growth.
If you wait until perfect preparation is complete, the “journey” will never begin. What’s important is the attitude of continuing to learn when facing difficulties. Modern “travel” may not be as harsh as in the past, but opportunities for learning and growth are infinitely expanding. Why not take courage and take that first step?
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