How to Read “Lend umbrellas and lanterns expecting them not to return”
Kasa to chōchin wa modoranu tsumori de kase
Meaning of “Lend umbrellas and lanterns expecting them not to return”
This proverb teaches that when you lend everyday items like umbrellas and lanterns, you should be prepared from the start that they won’t come back.
When something you lent doesn’t return, disappointment and anger arise from your expectations. This can damage your relationships.
Instead, if you mentally prepare yourself that lending is like giving it away, you won’t get upset if it doesn’t return. And if it does come back, it becomes a pleasant surprise.
This is wisdom for protecting human relationships.
People use this proverb when deciding whether to lend something to friends or acquaintances. It shows that if you lend, you should let go of attachment.
If not getting it back would trouble you, it’s wiser not to lend it in the first place. This mindset still works today when lending books, DVDs, or small amounts of money.
The proverb teaches us to build mature relationships by prioritizing smooth human connections over attachment to possessions.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first appearance of this proverb in literature is unclear. However, it likely emerged from the everyday experiences of common people during the Edo period.
The choice of umbrellas and lanterns relates deeply to living conditions of that time.
In the Edo period, neither umbrellas nor lanterns were cheap items for ordinary people. Traditional Japanese umbrellas were delicate creations made by craftsmen.
They had bamboo frames covered with Japanese paper. Lanterns were similarly labor-intensive, made with bamboo ribs and paper.
Yet these were also items you’d want to lend when seeing someone in trouble during sudden rain or on dark roads.
The tension between human compassion and the reality of unreturned items created this proverb. People couldn’t ignore those in need, but things they lent often didn’t come back.
Umbrellas and lanterns were chosen because borrowers easily forgot to return them. Once the rain stopped, umbrellas became unnecessary.
When morning came, lanterns were no longer needed. People tended to forget they had borrowed these items once the immediate problem was solved.
This practical wisdom has been passed down through generations.
Interesting Facts
Edo period umbrellas were much heavier than modern ones. They weighed about one kilogram when open and 700 grams when closed.
Made from bamboo frames and Japanese paper, they weren’t casual items like today’s vinyl umbrellas. The loss when something wasn’t returned was significant.
Lanterns were the only portable lighting for night roads. But they were fragile, vulnerable to wind, and became useless when wet.
Borrowers often damaged them during use. Many probably felt too embarrassed to return broken lanterns.
Usage Examples
- My friend hasn’t returned the book I lent again, but “Lend umbrellas and lanterns expecting them not to return,” so I’ll let it go
- He asked to borrow 10,000 yen, but remembering “Lend umbrellas and lanterns expecting them not to return,” I decided to give only an amount I wouldn’t miss
Universal Wisdom
This proverb teaches a deep truth: in human relationships, expectations are the seeds of discord.
When we do something kind, we unconsciously expect something in return. When we feel that expectation is betrayed, kindness turns into resentment.
Humans naturally want to help people in trouble. But we also carry disappointment and anger when our kindness isn’t rewarded.
Swinging between these two emotions is part of human nature.
Our ancestors found wisdom to resolve this contradiction. It’s the mindset of “lend expecting nothing back from the start.”
This isn’t resignation. It’s actually a method to gain active freedom of mind. By letting go of expectations, kindness remains pure kindness.
This proverb has been passed down because it touches the essence of human relationships.
Through the everyday situation of lending things, it teaches us to let go of attachment, the value of kindness without expecting returns, and above all, how to protect our own peace of mind.
Attachment to small things can destroy important relationships. Our ancestors saw through this foolishness.
When AI Hears This
Assuming lent umbrellas won’t return actually creates interesting strategic effects.
In game theory’s “iterated prisoner’s dilemma,” the most successful strategy in repeated cooperation-or-betrayal choices is proven to be “tit-for-tat.” But this proverb shows an even more advanced mechanism.
Lending without expecting return doesn’t pressure the borrower with “I must repay this debt.”
Strangely, this triggers psychology where they voluntarily want to return the favor in another form. This is called “indirect reciprocity” rather than “direct reciprocity.”
Person A lends an umbrella to Person B, B helps Person C, and eventually Person D helps Person A. This creates a chain.
Mathematical models show that in groups where indirect reciprocity functions, cooperative behavior remains stable.
The key is the mindset of “expecting them not to return.” Demanding repayment creates a two-party transaction.
Letting go of expectations transforms it into a multi-party network. In one-on-one lending, maximum return is 100 percent of investment.
But in a network, you receive unexpected benefits from multiple people, multiplying investment effects many times over.
Edo commoners empirically discovered the paradox that letting go of profit calculations generates maximum profit.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of courage to let go of attachment.
Because we’re constantly connected through smartphones and social media today, relationships break down easily over small things.
A borrowed book not returned, money lent and forgotten. Such trivial matters casting shadows on important friendships is too wasteful.
The trick to practicing this teaching is making a decision in your heart the moment you lend.
Ask yourself, “Will I be okay if this doesn’t come back?” If the answer is no, don’t lend it in the first place.
If yes, let it go mentally in that moment. This simple habit will make your relationships surprisingly easier.
Connections with people are far more valuable than attachment to things.
This proverb gently teaches life priorities that haven’t changed for hundreds of years. Generosity in letting go of small things brings great peace of mind.
Why not start living this way today?
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