How to Read “Rather than devoting your heart to an impossible love, keep a dog or cat”
Kanawanu koi ni kokoro wo tsukusu yori inu neko wo kae
Meaning of “Rather than devoting your heart to an impossible love, keep a dog or cat”
This proverb offers practical advice. It tells you to keep a dog or cat to distract yourself rather than devoting your heart to an impossible love.
Pouring your time and emotions into a romance with no hope of success only causes you pain. It’s wiser to fill the emptiness in your heart by keeping animals like dogs or cats.
These pets will surely return your affection. This helps you move forward with your life.
People use this proverb when they see someone suffering from attachment to an impossible love. It applies to unrequited love, love for a married person, or romance prevented by differences in status or position.
The saying offers a realistic solution for those trapped in relationships that can never work out. It teaches the value of cherishing happiness within reach rather than the emptiness of chasing ideals forever.
Origin and Etymology
No definite records remain about when this proverb first appeared in literature. However, we can guess how it came to be from its structure and Japanese cultural background.
From the Edo period through the Meiji era, many proverbs emerged expressing common people’s wisdom about love. During this time, the class system and family obligations often prevented people from marrying those they loved.
This was not unusual. People faced the urgent problem of how to deal with heartache in such circumstances.
The specific advice to “keep a dog or cat” is particularly interesting. Dogs and cats have long been close to humans. People knew from experience about their unconditional love and healing power.
The idea here is extremely practical. Rather than suffer from unrequited love, turn your attention to beings who will surely comfort your heart.
This expression doesn’t deny the beauty of pursuing ideals. Instead, it shows a realistic option for protecting your own happiness.
It likely came from the wisdom of ordinary people’s lives. The proverb reflects values that treasure peace of mind rather than romantic idealism.
Usage Examples
- I’ve spent three years thinking only about him, but when someone told me “Rather than devoting your heart to an impossible love, keep a dog or cat,” I finally woke up
- Instead of suffering forever from one-sided love, I decided to adopt a rescue cat, just like the saying “Rather than devoting your heart to an impossible love, keep a dog or cat”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb offers deep insight into the limited nature of the human heart and our power to choose happiness. Everyone has a tendency to become attached to things they cannot have.
In romance especially, people often continue suffering even when they know the other person’s feelings won’t turn their way. They just can’t give up.
Why was this proverb created and passed down through generations? Because our ancestors learned from experience a crucial truth.
Being trapped by unrequited feelings steals precious time and energy from your life. Romance is beautiful, but when you know it won’t work out, staying in that place becomes cruel treatment of yourself.
The essence of this proverb is the courage to let go and the wisdom to accept different forms of love. The specific example of dogs and cats shows an important truth.
Love comes in many forms. Romance between humans isn’t the only way to fill your heart. Animals accept us without conditions and give us unconditional love.
Humans are beings whose hearts are fulfilled by loving and being loved. Being too particular about the form that love takes leads to unhappiness.
The flexibility to turn your attention to love you can surely receive is the wisdom for living happily.
When AI Hears This
Two cognitive biases work simultaneously in the brain of someone attached to impossible love. The first is the “sunk cost fallacy.”
Someone who has had a crush for three years perceives those three years of emotion and time as an “investment.” They feel that giving up now would waste those three years, so they keep investing more.
This is being trapped by what economics calls “sunk costs.” People cannot recover past investments, yet humans extremely dislike confirming losses.
The second is the reverse pattern of the “certainty effect.” Research by behavioral economist Kahneman shows people tend to overvalue large uncertain gains over small certain ones.
Impossible love creates an illusion. The one percent possibility that “maybe they’ll notice me” feels like it has one hundred percent value. This has the same structure as the psychology of buying lottery tickets repeatedly.
In contrast, choosing to keep a dog or cat means accumulating small joys you can reliably get every day. The probability they’ll greet you with a wagging tail is nearly one hundred percent.
From a behavioral economics perspective, the sum of certain small rewards actually produces higher happiness than uncertain large rewards. This proverb is surprisingly scientific in how it sees through human cognitive biases and recommends the probabilistically rational choice.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the courage to let go of attachment and the hope that happiness has more than one option.
Today there are more ways than ever to stay trapped in impossible love. You can endlessly check someone’s social media or send messages that never get replies. That’s why this old wisdom carries fresh meaning.
What matters most is prioritizing your own mental health. Romance isn’t everything in life.
Beyond keeping pets, there are countless ways to fill your heart. Immerse yourself in hobbies, treasure time with friends, or invest in personal growth. Take a calm look at what you’re losing by spending time on love that won’t work out.
This proverb teaches you the beauty of letting go. Releasing attachment isn’t defeat. It’s a courageous choice that opens the door to new happiness.
When you turn your attention to things that will surely make you happy, life becomes surprisingly light. Your heart deserves to be treated more preciously.
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