How to Read “If it’s good for that side, this side resents it”
Kanata ni yokereba konata no urami
Meaning of “If it’s good for that side, this side resents it”
“If it’s good for that side, this side resents it” means that what benefits one person or group often harms another person or group, creating feelings of resentment.
This proverb is used in situations where interests conflict. For example, dividing a limited budget, making personnel decisions, or deciding how to use land.
When someone gains, someone else inevitably loses. What’s important is that this proverb doesn’t just point out the loss itself.
It highlights that “resentment” emerges from the situation. This emotional aspect is crucial to understanding the saying.
This pattern exists everywhere in modern society. Corporate management decisions, community development plans, and family choices all involve this difficulty.
Finding solutions that satisfy everyone is nearly impossible. The proverb expresses this reality clearly and directly.
People in decision-making positions face a dilemma. Supporting one side means you can’t support the other. This proverb teaches us about this unavoidable challenge.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first appearance of this proverb in literature is unclear. However, its structure suggests it was already in use during the Edo period.
The contrasting expressions “kanata” (that side) and “konata” (this side) represent a traditional Japanese rhetorical device.
“Kanata” means “over there” and “konata” means “over here.” These words express more than just physical distance.
They have long been used to show differences in relationships and positions between people. This contrasting structure reflects the Japanese worldview that everything has two sides.
What’s interesting is that this proverb includes the strong emotion of “resentment.” In Edo period townspeople’s society, conflicts of interest were common.
People competed over limited resources and opportunities. Business deals, land boundaries, and water rights created daily situations where one person’s gain meant another’s loss.
In such a society, people deeply felt the difficulty of balancing interests. This proverb goes beyond simple profit and loss.
It addresses human emotions, especially the negative feeling of “resentment.” Our ancestors understood that distribution problems could destroy human relationships.
They recognized this danger and passed down this wisdom through generations.
Usage Examples
- The new road plan has divided residents’ opinions completely, and the mayor is struggling because if it’s good for that side, this side resents it
- When we gave the sales department priority in budget allocation, the development department exploded with complaints—truly if it’s good for that side, this side resents it
Universal Wisdom
“If it’s good for that side, this side resents it” contains deep wisdom about the fundamental structure of human society.
Our ancestors understood a harsh reality. Perfect solutions that satisfy everyone simply don’t exist in this world.
Why was this proverb created and passed down through generations? Because as long as humans live in groups, conflicts of interest are unavoidable.
Resources are limited. Opportunities are limited. Time is limited. Since everything is finite, someone’s gain inevitably creates someone else’s loss.
What makes this proverb profound is its focus on the emotion of “resentment.” People are hurt less by the loss itself than by feelings of unfairness and exclusion.
The sense of being disrespected or ignored creates resentment. Our ancestors saw beyond material gains and losses into the movements of the human heart.
This proverb teaches us about the heavy responsibility of those who make decisions. Any choice you make might hurt someone.
That’s why decision-makers must be humble. They must try to understand the feelings of those who lose out.
Perfect fairness might be an illusion. But the effort to be fair is possible. This effort is the wisdom that holds human society together.
When AI Hears This
When humans face conflicts of interest, they automatically perceive them as zero-sum games. They think “if someone gains, someone must lose.”
This proverb perfectly captures that illusion. In reality, many situations are non-zero-sum games.
Solutions exist where everyone gains or everyone loses. But the human brain simplifies things into either-or structures. This is a cognitive trap.
What’s interesting is how this trap causes serious losses in negotiations and decision-making. Consider labor negotiations over wage increases.
Management thinks “if we raise wages, the company loses.” Workers think “if wages don’t increase, workers lose.”
But actually, appropriate wage increases can boost employee productivity and reduce turnover. This ultimately increases company profits too—a non-zero-sum solution.
However, when both sides are trapped in the false zero-sum perception of “if it’s good for that side, this side resents it,” they can’t find this optimal solution. Negotiations break down.
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s research shows that humans judge gains and losses through relative comparison rather than absolute values.
In other words, people care more about “did I gain more than the other person” than “did I gain something.”
This cognitive bias is what transforms situations where cooperation could benefit both sides into conflict structures. Understanding this is crucial for better decision-making.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people about the essence of leadership. When you’re in a position to make decisions, start by accepting reality.
You cannot satisfy everyone. This is simply how things are.
What matters is the decision-making process. Explain why you made that choice. Share what criteria you used for judgment.
Transparency can soften the “resentment” of people unhappy with the result. People care more about being respected than about the outcome itself.
This proverb also teaches us how to act when we’re on “this side”—the losing side. When you suffer a disadvantage, remember something important.
It might not result from malice or unfairness. It might simply be a choice made within limited resources.
Having the capacity to imagine the other person’s position helps you avoid unnecessary conflict. This perspective creates healthier relationships.
Modern society idealizes win-win solutions. But situations where that’s impossible definitely exist.
What you need then is sincerity and compassion. You can’t achieve perfect fairness.
But your attitude of trying to be fair will always reach the other person. That’s the wisdom that protects human relationships.
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