How to Read “Neither boil the soft nor spit out the hard”
jū naru mo mata niewazu gō naru mo mata hakazu
Meaning of “Neither boil the soft nor spit out the hard”
This proverb describes an ideal state where something is neither too soft to fall apart when boiled, nor too hard to be spit out. In other words, the best way to be is to have a balanced combination of both softness and hardness.
In relationships and work, if you’re too flexible without a core, you lose trust. On the other hand, if you’re too stubborn and inflexible, people won’t accept you.
This proverb teaches that the ideal state is to be supple yet unbreakable. You need both moderate flexibility and moderate strength.
Today, we understand this as having the flexibility to adapt to change while firmly maintaining your core values. Don’t get swept away, but don’t become rigid either.
Change your form according to the situation, but never lose your essence. This proverb expresses that ideal sense of balance with deep insight.
Origin and Etymology
There are multiple theories about the clear origin of this proverb. Some point to connections with ancient Chinese philosophy, especially Laozi’s idea that “the soft and weak overcome the hard and strong.”
Others see links to the Confucian spirit of moderation. However, this exact phrasing may be uniquely Japanese.
Looking at the word structure, “niewazu” means “doesn’t boil” or “doesn’t fall apart when cooked.” “Hakazu” means “doesn’t spit out.”
Food that’s too soft falls apart when boiled. Food that’s too hard gets spit out because you can’t swallow it. This cooking experience became a metaphor for how people should be.
Japan has long had the teaching “too much is the same as too little.” The culture values avoiding extremes and respecting moderation.
This proverb likely emerged from that philosophical background. By comparing the ideal state of combining flexibility and strength to everyday cooking, our ancestors made wisdom accessible to everyone.
Usage Examples
- Her leadership embodies “Neither boil the soft nor spit out the hard,” which is why her team trusts her deeply
- I learned that the key to successful negotiation is the attitude of “Neither boil the soft nor spit out the hard”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because people have always faced the question: “How far should I compromise, and where should I stand firm?”
Everyone wants to be kind. But kindness alone can make you lose yourself and fail to protect what matters.
Everyone also wants to be strong. But strength alone leads to isolation and lost connections with others.
People have struggled between these two conflicting desires throughout history.
Our ancestors found an answer to this eternal challenge through the everyday act of cooking. Softness that doesn’t fall apart, hardness that doesn’t get spit out.
This isn’t just a middle point. It’s a higher state that integrates the best of both qualities.
The truth this proverb reveals is the importance of integrating opposites rather than eliminating them. Flexibility and strength, kindness and firmness, acceptance and assertion.
These aren’t naturally opposing forces. They can coexist, as this proverb teaches.
Human maturity may be the process of achieving this integration. No matter how times change, people cannot escape this challenge.
That’s why this proverb still resonates with us today.
When AI Hears This
Think of a water filter. If the holes are too large, contaminants pass through. If too small, water itself can’t pass.
The optimal filter has holes of “just the right middle size.” The selection principle this proverb shows hits the core of materials engineering.
What’s interesting is that selective permeability mechanisms in nature and industrial products all function in the “middle zone that excludes two extremes.”
For example, cell membranes let water molecules through because they’re small enough, but block proteins because they’re too large.
Catalysts can’t activate substances with too low reactivity, and substances with too high reactivity stick too strongly to the surface and won’t detach.
Zeolite, a crystalline porous material, sorts out only molecules of specific sizes through extremely precise pore diameter control between 0.3 and 1 nanometer.
The essence of this proverb is the discovery that “selection has an optimal sensitivity range.” Not boiling what’s too soft (not accepting it) prevents system overload.
Not spitting out what’s too hard (not rejecting it) avoids wasted energy. In other words, efficient selection systems are designed to respond to “intermediate characteristics” that balance processing cost and selection precision.
Whether in human relationships or organizational management, the strategy of not dealing with extremes is a rational decision for optimal resource allocation.
Lessons for Today
For those of us living today, this proverb teaches the importance of “supple strength.”
Now that social media has developed, we’re constantly exposed to others’ opinions. If we follow trends too much, we lose ourselves.
If we stubbornly cling to our own ideas, we become isolated. That’s exactly why we need the spirit of “Neither boil the soft nor spit out the hard” in this era.
Specifically, have the flexibility to listen to others’ opinions while cherishing your core values. Change your methods according to the situation, but don’t waver in the direction you’re heading.
This way of living is what modern society demands.
If you’re struggling with something now, it might be a chance to reconsider your balance between “softness” and “strength.”
Should you be more flexible, or should you have more conviction? By facing this question, you can grow one step further.
Perfect balance doesn’t exist. What matters is constantly being aware of balance.
By doing so, you can grow into a supple yet strong person who neither falls apart nor gets rejected.
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