How to Read “In wiving and thriving men should take counsel of all the world”
In wiving and thriving men should take counsel of all the world
[IN WY-ving and THRY-ving men should take KOWN-sel of all the world]
“Wiving” means getting married. “Thriving” means succeeding in life. “Counsel” means advice.
Meaning of “In wiving and thriving men should take counsel of all the world”
Simply put, this proverb means you should ask many people for advice before making big life decisions like marriage or career choices.
The saying talks about two major life areas. “Wiving” refers to choosing a spouse and getting married. “Thriving” means building success in work, money, and life goals. The proverb suggests these decisions are too important to make alone. Getting input from different people helps you see things you might miss.
Today we use this wisdom when facing major choices. People ask friends, family, and mentors before changing jobs or moving cities. They seek advice before starting businesses or making big purchases. The idea is that other people have different experiences and perspectives. They might notice problems or opportunities you cannot see.
What makes this saying interesting is how it values collective wisdom. Most people naturally want to make their own choices. But this proverb suggests that independence has limits. When decisions will shape your whole future, pride becomes dangerous. Smart people gather information from many sources before choosing their path.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of this proverb is unknown, though it appears in various forms in English literature from several centuries ago. The language style suggests it comes from an era when formal advice-seeking was more common in society. People often consulted elders, community leaders, and extended family before major decisions.
During earlier periods of history, individual choices had greater consequences for entire families and communities. Marriage affected property, alliances, and social standing. Career decisions influenced not just personal success but family survival. This context made seeking wide counsel a practical necessity rather than just wise advice.
The saying spread through oral tradition and written collections of proverbs. Over time, the specific language became less common in everyday speech. However, the core message adapted to modern life. Today people might say “get a second opinion” or “crowdsource advice” but the underlying wisdom remains the same.
Interesting Facts
The word “wiving” comes from “wife” and was once a common verb meaning “to take a wife” or “to marry.” This verb form has largely disappeared from modern English, making the proverb sound archaic to contemporary readers.
The phrase “take counsel” reflects an older understanding of advice as something valuable to be actively gathered rather than passively received. In medieval and Renaissance periods, formal counsel was often sought from specific advisors or councils before important decisions.
Usage Examples
- Father to son: “Don’t rush into that business partnership or marriage proposal without asking around first – in wiving and thriving men should take counsel of all the world.”
- Friend to friend: “Before you quit your job and propose to her in the same week, maybe talk to some people who know you both – in wiving and thriving men should take counsel of all the world.”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb reveals a fundamental tension in human nature between independence and interdependence. We naturally want to control our own destinies and make autonomous choices. Yet our individual perspectives are inherently limited by our experiences, blind spots, and emotional attachments to particular outcomes.
The wisdom recognizes that major life decisions create ripple effects far beyond what any single person can fully anticipate. When we choose a life partner, we are not just selecting someone we enjoy spending time with. We are choosing a co-parent, financial partner, and companion through decades of unknown challenges. Similarly, career choices affect not just our daily satisfaction but our long-term security, social connections, and personal growth opportunities.
What makes this insight universally relevant is how it addresses the paradox of expertise in personal matters. We are simultaneously the world’s greatest expert on our own desires and preferences, yet also the person most likely to be blinded by wishful thinking, fear, or incomplete information. Other people can see patterns we miss, ask questions we avoid, and offer perspectives shaped by different life experiences. This creates a natural system of checks and balances that helps prevent costly mistakes while still preserving individual choice. The proverb does not suggest letting others decide for us, but rather gathering enough input to make truly informed decisions about the paths that will define our lives.
When AI Hears This
When marriage or career decisions loom, something strange happens to human brains. The bigger the life choice, the worse people become at thinking clearly. Stress floods the mind with chemicals that cloud judgment. Fear makes smart people suddenly unable to see obvious problems.
This creates a hidden survival need that humans rarely recognize. Your brain literally becomes less reliable when you need it most. Other people’s minds stay calm because they’re not emotionally invested. They can spot red flags and opportunities that stress makes invisible to you.
What fascinates me is how this apparent weakness becomes a strength. Humans unconsciously built a backup system using other people’s brains. When your own thinking fails under pressure, you borrow clarity from friends. This turns individual vulnerability into collective wisdom that no single mind could achieve.
Lessons for Today
Living with this wisdom requires balancing confidence in your own judgment with openness to outside perspectives. The challenge lies in knowing when to seek counsel and how to evaluate the advice you receive. Not every decision needs extensive consultation, but life-shaping choices benefit from multiple viewpoints before you commit to a direction.
In relationships, this means talking to people who know you well before making major commitments. Friends and family can often see compatibility issues or red flags that emotions might hide. In career decisions, seeking advice from people in different industries or life stages can reveal opportunities and pitfalls you had not considered. The key is asking specific questions rather than just seeking general approval for choices you have already made.
The wisdom also applies to how we support others facing major decisions. Instead of immediately offering opinions, we can help people think through their choices more thoroughly. Good counsel involves asking thoughtful questions, sharing relevant experiences, and helping someone see their situation from different angles. Communities that practice this kind of mutual support tend to make better collective decisions and avoid repeating preventable mistakes.
The difficulty comes from distinguishing helpful counsel from interference or projection. Not everyone who offers advice has your best interests at heart, and even well-meaning people may push their own preferences rather than helping you discover yours. The art lies in gathering diverse perspectives while maintaining ownership of your final choice.
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