How to Read “Don’t blame people for small faults”
Hito no shōka wo semazu
Meaning of “Don’t blame people for small faults”
This proverb teaches that we shouldn’t harshly criticize others for their small mistakes. Everyone makes errors, and if we constantly point out and condemn every minor slip or failure, our relationships will break down.
It means we should accept small faults with a generous heart, especially when someone had no bad intentions and the impact was minor.
You use this proverb when someone is excessively blaming others for small failures, or when you yourself feel tempted to get angry over something trivial.
It reminds us not to demand perfection and to have the flexibility to see things from the other person’s perspective.
Even in modern society, this spirit is understood as a basic attitude for keeping relationships smooth at work, at home, and among friends.
Origin and Etymology
There are various theories about the exact origin of this proverb. It likely formed in Japan under the influence of ancient Chinese thought, particularly Confucianism.
The word “shōka” is a Chinese-derived term meaning trivial mistakes or small failures. It has been used in moral teachings since ancient times.
Confucianism has long emphasized tolerance and compassion as essential qualities for those who guide others.
The teachings of Confucius include the idea that we should focus on people’s strengths and potential rather than blame them for small flaws.
As these ideas spread to Japan, they took root as wisdom for maintaining smooth human relationships.
The background of this proverb also reflects characteristics of Japanese communal society. In communities where people live together closely for long periods, conflicts over trivial matters make reconciliation difficult.
That’s why overlooking small faults and forgiving each other became valued as practical wisdom for maintaining the community.
While the words themselves have a Chinese sound, the spirit was nurtured and refined within Japanese daily life.
Usage Examples
- Even when I notice a new employee’s mistake, I guide them gently with the spirit of “Don’t blame people for small faults”
- She was a little late for our appointment, but I greeted her with a smile following “Don’t blame people for small faults”
Universal Wisdom
The proverb “Don’t blame people for small faults” has been passed down through generations because it recognizes a fundamental truth. Humans are essentially imperfect beings.
We all live our lives making various mistakes, large and small, every day. No perfect human exists.
Yet why do people tend to be harsh on others’ small mistakes while being lenient with their own? It’s because we see the circumstances and reasons behind our own failures, but only see the results of others’ failures.
When we knock over a cup, we understand “my hand slipped.” But when someone else does it, we think “how careless.” This cognitive bias is a major cause of friction in human relationships.
Our ancestors deeply understood this human nature. That’s why they taught the importance of consciously maintaining tolerance.
Blaming small faults might satisfy a temporary sense of justice. But what we lose is immeasurable: trust, warmth, and most importantly, the room to be forgiven when we make mistakes ourselves.
This proverb conveys timeless wisdom. Recognizing each other as imperfect beings and supporting one another is the foundation that makes human society possible.
When AI Hears This
Mathematical analysis of repeated games reveals a fascinating discovery. In experiments where computers competed using various strategies, the “nice guy” who always cooperated got exploited.
The “strict justice” approach that immediately retaliated against betrayal fell into chains of retaliation triggered by trivial mistakes. But the highest score went to “tit-for-tat strategy with added forgiveness.”
Specifically, this strategy retaliates once when the opponent betrays, but then returns to cooperation with a 10 to 20 percent probability of forgiveness. In other words, it occasionally overlooks small faults.
Why is this the strongest? The reason is “noise.” In the real world, actions that look like betrayal occur due to misunderstandings or mistakes, even without bad intentions.
With a strict retaliation strategy, you react to these accidental mistakes and end up in permanent hostility.
Thousands of simulations proved that strategies tolerating small faults maintain the possibility of relationship repair and sustain long-term cooperation.
If the forgiveness probability is too high, you get exploited. But appropriate tolerance functions as a safety device that doesn’t break relationships.
Not blaming small mistakes in human relationships isn’t just kindness. It’s a rational choice for continuing the cooperation game. The surprising discovery is that morality actually matches the mathematical optimal solution.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people that tolerance is the key to building rich human relationships.
Pointing out someone’s trivial word choice error on social media or making a big deal of a colleague’s small mistake at work may seem right. But it actually damages trust.
Modern society has a growing tendency to demand perfection. But demanding too much perfection makes both yourself and others feel suffocated.
What matters is having the eye to distinguish what’s truly an important problem from what’s a small fault you can overlook.
When you notice someone’s small fault, take a breath. Is it really something you should blame them for?
Perhaps by watching over them kindly, they can grow even more. And when you make a mistake someday, you’ll be embraced with the same kindness.
Tolerance becomes a shield that protects you in return. A way of life that doesn’t blame people for small faults ultimately makes your own life easier too.
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