How to Read “Others’ kindness becomes one’s enemy, others’ harshness becomes one’s treasure”
Hito no nasake wa mi no ada, hito no tsuraki wa mi no takara
Meaning of “Others’ kindness becomes one’s enemy, others’ harshness becomes one’s treasure”
This proverb teaches that relying too much on others’ kindness and generosity prevents your growth. It can even lead to your downfall.
On the other hand, harsh and difficult experiences train you. They become valuable assets for your future.
Getting help from others feels easy in the moment. But if you depend on it too much, you never develop your own thinking skills. You lose the ability to overcome difficulties on your own.
As a result, you cannot stand independently when it really matters. This leads to major failures.
Harsh situations and painful experiences are tough while you’re going through them. But they build your strength as a person. They develop wisdom and patience.
People use this proverb when raising young people strictly rather than spoiling them. It reminds us not to run from difficulties but to face them head-on.
You can also use these words to reframe your own tough situations positively. Even today, people recognize that overprotective environments make people weak.
This saying makes us think about what true kindness really means.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first written appearance of this proverb is unclear. However, people believe it comes from Edo period moral instruction books. It was also passed down orally among common people.
The structure of the phrase is very striking. It places two contrasting elements side by side. “Others’ kindness” and “others’ harshness” lead to completely opposite results.
These results are “one’s enemy” and “one’s treasure.” This creates a powerful parallel expression.
The word “nasake” (kindness) means gentleness, compassion, and help from others. Meanwhile, “tsuraki” (harshness) refers to strictness and painful experiences.
What makes this proverb interesting is that it teaches the opposite of common sense. Normally, we think kindness from others is wonderful. We want to avoid harsh experiences.
But this proverb takes a long-term view of human growth.
In Edo period Japan, culture emphasized raising people through strictness. This included the samurai spirit and craftsman apprenticeships.
People also saw many examples of those who lost their independence by relying too much on favors. These people eventually ruined themselves.
In such a society, wise ancestors understood what true growth requires. Their wisdom crystallized into this parallel phrase.
The beautiful sound of the words helped them stick deeply in people’s hearts.
Usage Examples
- He relied too much on his parents’ support and couldn’t become independent. This truly shows that others’ kindness becomes one’s enemy, others’ harshness becomes one’s treasure.
- The strict guidance I received as a newcomer made me who I am today. People really knew what they were talking about when they said others’ kindness becomes one’s enemy, others’ harshness becomes one’s treasure.
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because it points to a fundamental contradiction in human growth. We instinctively seek comfort and try to avoid pain.
However, true growth only happens in uncomfortable territory. It occurs when we try to exceed our limits. This is an unchanging aspect of human nature across all eras.
The paradox that kindness becomes an “enemy” is fascinating. Why does help given from love and good intentions become harmful?
The answer is that humans are creatures who adapt to their environment. If you’re placed in an easy environment, you adapt to it. You become capable of only an easy way of life.
Just as muscles weaken without use, mental strength cannot develop without trials.
Meanwhile, “harshness” becomes treasure because difficulties force us to make choices. Do we run away or face them? The accumulation of these choices and actions shapes our character.
Harsh experiences draw out power that was sleeping inside us. They give us new perspectives.
This proverb also raises the question of what true love is. Is love protecting someone from immediate suffering? Or is love giving them harshness for their future benefit?
Our ancestors saw that the latter is real love.
When AI Hears This
Radiation and toxins are dangerous. But in small amounts, they actually make living things stronger. This is called the “hormesis effect.”
For example, low-dose radiation activates cellular repair functions. It can actually extend lifespan. Weight training works on the same principle. The stress that damages muscle fibers strengthens the muscles.
Looking at this proverb biologically, we see that optimal stress levels exist in human relationships too. Spoiling seems kind, but it’s actually “the poison of overprotection.” It robs organisms of their adaptive abilities.
Like greenhouse plants that die when moved outside, people without hardship experience cannot handle even small problems.
On the other hand, harsh experiences create psychological antibodies. Stress from failure and criticism becomes training. It increases problem-solving ability and mental resilience.
What’s interesting is that the hormesis effect has an “inverted U-curve.” Organisms weaken with both zero stress and excessive stress. In other words, moderate harshness is the optimal solution.
Modern overprotective education and work environments may lean too far to the left of this curve. Without scientific data, ancient people discovered this universal adaptation principle in human relationships.
The perspective of accepting harshness not as something to avoid but as nutrition for growth was biologically correct survival strategy.
Lessons for Today
Modern society pursues convenience and comfort to the extreme. Every difficulty gets eliminated. But this proverb offers lessons we should remember especially in such times.
First, for yourself. By facing difficult work and relationships instead of running away, you will definitely grow. Your current suffering becomes the foundation that supports your future self.
Don’t fear failure. Have the courage to take on challenges.
Next, for those in positions to raise others. True kindness means watching over someone so they can stand up on their own. Rather than immediately offering help, give them the opportunity to solve things themselves.
This is love from a long-term perspective.
And for those in harsh situations. The difficulties you’re experiencing now are never wasted. They will become irreplaceable assets that make your future self stronger.
Just having this perspective changes the meaning of suffering.
What matters is having the courage to choose the hard path when you face an easy road and a difficult one. The accumulation of those choices creates who you are as a person.
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