How to Read “這えば立て立てば歩めの親心”
Haeba tate tateba ayume no oyagokoro
Meaning of “這えば立て立てば歩めの親心”
This proverb expresses the boundless expectations and love that parents have for their children’s growth.
It accurately captures the parental mindset where when a baby starts crawling, they wish “I hope they stand up soon,” and when they start standing, they hope “Now I want them to walk.” This is not parental selfishness at all, but rather an expression of deep love for their child.
The situations where this proverb is used are mainly in conversations between parents raising children, or when expressing the feelings of grandparents watching their grandchildren grow. It’s used to explain natural parental psychology, such as “With our child, it’s exactly ‘If crawls then stand if stands then walk parent heart’ – we can’t help but expect the next step.”
Even today, this expression deeply resonates with parents raising children. This is because the parental heart that wishes for a child’s growth is something that transcends time and never changes. While rejoicing in one stage of growth, expectations for the next stage are simultaneously born – this proverb beautifully expresses such complex and rich parental emotions.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is deeply connected to child-rearing perspectives of the Edo period. It is thought to have developed from words that parents of that time naturally spoke while watching their children grow.
“If crawls then stand” – the word “crawl” refers to babies crawling on all fours, and “walk” in “if stands then walk” expresses the wish “I hope they walk.” As can be seen from this expression, the core of the proverb lies in parental feelings.
Looking at Edo period literature, we can see many expressions that capture children’s growth stages in the sequence “crawl → stand → walk.” This shows that people of that time understood child development in stages. Even in an era when medical knowledge was limited, parents carefully observed their children’s natural growth processes.
Also, the background to this proverb’s creation includes the high infant mortality rate of the Edo period. Because it was an era when many children died young, parents’ wishes for their children to safely crawl, stand, and walk were desperate. Such historical background tells the story of the depth of parental love contained in these words.
Usage Examples
- Just when I thought my son could walk, now I want him to run around – it’s exactly “If crawls then stand if stands then walk parent heart”
- Watching my grandchild grow, I find myself with “If crawls then stand if stands then walk parent heart,” inevitably expecting the next stage
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, this proverb has taken on new meanings. In our information society, parental expectations for children’s growth have become more diverse and sometimes problematically excessive.
In the past, physical growth of “crawl → stand → walk” was central, but in modern times, expectations for intellectual development have been added, such as “I want them to talk soon,” “I want them to learn letters,” “I want them to be able to use smartphones.” Furthermore, increased opportunities to see other children’s growth on social media have made comparison-based anxiety more likely to arise.
On the other hand, as knowledge from developmental psychology has spread, understanding that “children have individual differences” and “we shouldn’t rush them too much” has also deepened. Modern parents have “If crawls then stand if stands then walk parent heart” while also acquiring knowledge to control it.
In educational settings, this proverb is sometimes used as material for thinking about “appropriate expectations.” The old proverb provides new insights into the modern challenge of how to adjust parental expectations while respecting children’s natural developmental stages.
Also, in modern times it is quoted in the context of child-rearing support. This proverb is effectively used when conveying the importance of an attitude that acknowledges parental expectations as natural while watching that they don’t become excessive.
When AI Hears This
Parental love contains a cruel paradox: the deeper the love, the greater the anxiety grows. What this proverb reveals is the contradiction where parents genuinely wish for their child’s growth, yet each step of that growth becomes a new source of worry.
In psychology, “attachment theory” shows that parents with stronger attachment bonds develop heightened vigilance about their child’s safety. When a baby learns to crawl, there’s the danger of falling; when they can stand, there’s the risk of tumbling from high places; when they walk, there are concerns about traffic accidents and getting lost. The depth of love functions as an imaginative “danger prediction system.”
What’s even more fascinating is that this anxiety never truly disappears. Even when children become college students or working adults, parental worries continue in different forms. In other words, parents are structurally unable to reach a state of “complete peace of mind” precisely because they love so deeply.
This is also a fundamental characteristic of love itself. True love is an emotion that exists alongside the fear of losing the person whose happiness you wish for. Perhaps parental love represents one of the most complex and beautiful forms of human emotion, where joy and anxiety are two sides of the same coin.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is that in love, both “a heart that rejoices in the present” and “expectations for the future” naturally coexist. Not limited to child-rearing, when we watch someone’s growth, we accept their current state while also wishing for further development.
What’s important is not denying this feeling. A supervisor wishing for a subordinate’s growth, a teacher hoping for students’ improvement, feelings of praying for a friend’s happiness – these are all expressions of the same love as “If crawls then stand if stands then walk parent heart.”
In modern society, having expectations tends to be spoken of as a bad thing, but appropriate expectations are proof of trust and love for the other person. However, rather than imposing those expectations, an attitude of watching over while respecting the other person’s pace is important.
When you wish for someone’s growth, remember this parental heart. Cherishing the other person in this moment while simultaneously harboring hope for the future – having both is what makes true love. Don’t fear having expectations, but don’t rush either – let’s treasure a heart that watches over warmly.
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