How to Read “Hard to obtain is time, hard to meet is a friend”
Egataki wa toki, aigataki wa tomo
Meaning of “Hard to obtain is time, hard to meet is a friend”
This proverb says that two things in life are truly valuable: finding the right opportunity and meeting a true friend. Both are extremely difficult and precious.
“Time” here means the perfect moment to make something succeed. “Friend” means a genuine friend you can trust completely.
People use this proverb when they want to emphasize how important chances are or how valuable friends are.
For example, you might use it when encouraging someone to make a decision, or when expressing how precious a friendship is.
The proverb captures a simple reality: good opportunities don’t come often. And while you may have many acquaintances, truly reliable friends are rare.
Even today, this wisdom still resonates. It applies when talking about seizing business opportunities.
It also matters when discussing the importance of deep relationships over shallow social media connections.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of this proverb has several theories. Most likely, it formed in Japan under the influence of ancient Chinese philosophy and Buddhist teachings.
The expressions “hard to obtain” and “hard to meet” appear frequently in Buddhist scriptures. They were used to explain how rare it is to be born human or to encounter Buddhist teachings.
This proverb pairs two “hard to obtain” things in a parallel structure. “Time” doesn’t just mean time itself, but the right opportunity to accomplish something.
“Friend” doesn’t mean casual acquaintances, but true friends you can trust with your heart.
Since ancient times, Japanese people recognized that opportunities don’t come just by waiting. True friends aren’t easily found either.
By pairing these two things, the proverb shows what matters most in life.
During the samurai era, missing the right moment in battle could cost you your life. Without trustworthy friends, survival itself was difficult.
In such harsh times, these words carved themselves deeply into people’s hearts. The beautiful parallel structure also made it memorable and easy to pass down through generations.
Usage Examples
- Deciding to change jobs back then was the right choice. As they say, “Hard to obtain is time, hard to meet is a friend,” and I was lucky enough to get both.
- I’ve known him since our student days. “Hard to obtain is time, hard to meet is a friend”—I’ll never build a relationship like this again.
Universal Wisdom
The universal truth in this proverb is that real value in life comes from quality, not quantity.
We spend countless hours every day and meet many people. But truly meaningful moments and encounters with people we can genuinely trust are surprisingly rare.
Why is it hard to find the right timing? Because those who aren’t prepared can’t see opportunities.
Even if they see them, they lack the courage to seize them. Good opportunities arrive quietly and leave quietly.
Most people only realize later, “That was my chance.”
And why is it hard to meet true friends? Because the depth of relationships can only be measured through time and trials.
When things go well, many people gather around. But when you face difficulties, those who truly stand by you are rare.
Pure friendship beyond self-interest only emerges when two people’s character and sincerity resonate with each other.
By pairing these two “hard to obtain” things, our ancestors saw through to life’s essence.
Happiness isn’t about possessing many things. It’s about having the ability to recognize and cherish what’s irreplaceable.
When AI Hears This
Network science research shows that humans can maintain stable social relationships with about 150 people maximum (Dunbar’s number).
Meanwhile, on social media, you can connect with thousands. This numerical gap explains the core of this proverb.
In network theory, as the number of connections increases, the time and energy you can invest in each relationship decreases proportionally.
For example, if you have 1,000 acquaintances, you can only spend a few hours per year with each person.
In other words, increasing the “quantity” of connections necessarily dilutes the “quality” of each relationship. This is called “weak ties.”
Interestingly, weak ties have value too. Information about job opportunities often comes more easily from loose connections.
But friendships with deep trust and empathy require an overwhelming accumulation of time. One study suggests it takes about 200 hours of shared time to build a best-friend-level relationship.
Modern people have abundant “time” in terms of connectivity possibilities. But they lack “time” to deepen individual relationships.
Many people in the social media age feel lonely despite having hundreds of connections. This stems from these network structure constraints.
This proverb intuitively grasped the essence of network science: relationships involve a trade-off between quantity and quality.
High-quality friends cannot be obtained without concentrated investment of time, that scarce resource.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people how to set priorities in life.
In our information-overloaded age, we’re surrounded by countless choices. We easily lose sight of what truly matters.
But this proverb answers clearly: pursue good opportunities and true friends.
Practically, this means valuing your intuition when you feel “this might be a chance” in daily life.
If you wait for perfect preparation, the opportunity will pass. Once you’re reasonably prepared, take that step with courage.
That decisiveness becomes the key to seizing hard-to-obtain timing.
In relationships, prioritize quality over quantity. Not your social media follower count or business card collection matters.
What matters is how many people you can truly open your heart to. People you can rely on when in trouble, and people you want to help.
Cultivate these relationships over time. They become the true wealth that enriches your life.
Precisely because these things are hard to obtain, don’t forget gratitude when you encounter them. Protect and nurture them carefully.
That attitude is the path to a fulfilling life.
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