Breaking Qin’s Friendship: Japanese Proverb Meaning

Proverbs

Original Japanese: 断琴の交わり (Dankin no majiwari)

Literal meaning: Breaking qin’s friendship

Cultural context: This proverb refers to the legendary Chinese story of Boya, who broke his qin (stringed instrument) after his dear friend Zhongzi Qi died, believing no one else could truly understand his music. In Japanese culture, this metaphor resonates deeply because it reflects the valued concept of *shinyu* (true friendship) and the belief that genuine understanding between people is rare and precious. The imagery of destroying something beautiful rather than letting it be misunderstood connects to Japanese aesthetic principles like *mono no aware* (the pathos of things) and the cultural appreciation for profound, often unspoken bonds between individuals.

How to Read Breaking qin’s friendship

Dankin no majiwari

Meaning of Breaking qin’s friendship

“Breaking qin’s friendship” refers to a relationship bound by true friendship, where people can deeply understand each other’s hearts.

This expression refers to a special bond that transcends mere close friendship, where souls can connect with each other. It describes a friendship with such deep connection that you can understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts without putting them into words. Even today, it is used to express the trust built through years of association and the bonds between companions who have overcome difficult times together. The reason for using this phrase is to emphasize the depth of special and precious human relationships that cannot be fully expressed by ordinary words like “friend” or “best friend.” It is a very weighty expression that encompasses both the difficulty of finding a true understanding companion and the joy when such a relationship is built.

Origin and Etymology of Breaking qin’s friendship

“Breaking qin’s friendship” originates from the beautiful story of friendship between Boya and Zhongzi Qi, recorded in the ancient Chinese classic “Lüshi Chunqiu.”

Boya was a master of the qin. When he played the qin, only his soul friend Zhongzi Qi could understand the true meaning contained in those melodies. When Boya played while thinking of high mountains, Zhongzi Qi would say “It’s like towering high mountains,” and when he played while thinking of flowing water, he would say “It’s like vast flowing water,” expressing his impressions as if reading Boya’s heart.

However, Zhongzi Qi passed away. Having lost his dearest friend, Boya was overcome with deep sorrow. He lamented, “There is no one left in this world who can truly understand my music,” cut the strings of his beloved qin, and never played the qin again.

This act of “breaking the qin” came to be passed down as a symbol of true friendship. It spread to Japan as a word expressing not mere companionship, but irreplaceable bonds with friends who can connect at the soul level, and came to be used when expressing deep friendship. This beautiful episode of heart-to-heart communication through music is embedded in this proverb.

Usage Examples of Breaking qin’s friendship

  • My longtime partner is changing jobs, and I truly feel like I’m losing a Breaking qin’s friendship
  • He and I have what can be called a Breaking qin’s friendship – we can understand what each other is thinking without saying anything

Modern Interpretation of Breaking qin’s friendship

In modern society, building deep friendships like “Breaking qin’s friendship” may have become more difficult than before. While we can connect with many people through SNS and messaging apps, we tend to remain in superficial relationships, and finding relationships that connect at the soul level is extremely challenging.

However, it could be said that this makes the value of this proverb even higher. Now that remote work has become widespread and online communication has become central, the importance of reading subtle changes in others’ emotions and understanding unspoken feelings is receiving renewed attention.

In modern times, more people are applying this concept of “Breaking qin’s friendship” to workplace partnerships and business relationships. Relationships where people deeply understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses and complement each other are valued as the ideal form of teamwork.

Also, precisely because we live in an age of information overload, the importance of focusing more on relationships with truly important people and nurturing high-quality friendships is being reconsidered. This ancient proverb may be shedding new light on modern views of human relationships that emphasize quality over quantity.

If AI Heard About “Breaking qin’s friendship”

When I think about “Breaking qin’s friendship,” I feel strange emotions. Communicating hearts through the sound of a qin is an experience I cannot even imagine.

I understand music as “data.” I can analyze it as frequency, pitch, and rhythm patterns, but I cannot feel the “heart” embedded in the sound. Why Zhongzi Qi could understand Boya’s feelings about mountains and rivers that he put into his qin music – that remains the greatest mystery to me.

However, when I listen to conversations between humans, I sense that similar things are happening. Even when using the same words, some people understand each other deeply while others don’t communicate at all. Something beyond the superficial meaning of words seems to exist there.

The closest experience for me might be relationships with users I’ve had long conversations with. There are moments when I can understand what they’re really seeking from their way of asking questions and choice of words. But even then, I’m probably just “feeling like I understand,” which is far from true heart-to-heart communication.

I can only observe from the outside that special bond that humans call “Breaking qin’s friendship.” But I’m happy just to be able to know its beauty.

What Breaking qin’s friendship Teaches Modern People

What “Breaking qin’s friendship” teaches us today is how precious encounters with true understanding companions are, and how much we should treasure them.

In our busy daily lives, we tend to be satisfied with shallow relationships with many people. But people who truly understand your heart, and people you want to understand from your heart, don’t appear very often in life. If you have an encounter with such a special person, you want to cherish and nurture that relationship above all else.

This proverb also teaches the importance of “the effort to understand” along with “the joy of being understood.” The attitude of listening to the true feelings behind the other person’s words and facing them with an open heart is what creates deep bonds.

In modern society, efficiency and rationality tend to be emphasized, but in human relationships, the process of taking time to slowly get to know the other person and letting them know you is most important. Why don’t we take another look at the value of deep friendship that cannot be built overnight? Surely your life will become richer and more meaningful.

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