How to Read “A father hides for his child, a child hides for his father”
Chichi wa ko no tame ni kakushi, ko wa chichi no tame ni kakusu
Meaning of “A father hides for his child, a child hides for his father”
This proverb expresses that it’s natural human emotion for parents and children to hide each other’s mistakes.
Parents try to protect their children by not exposing their failures or errors to the outside world. Children also try to shield their parents by not spreading word of their shortcomings or mistakes to others.
This behavior comes from instinctive love between family members.
People use this proverb when they see family members protecting each other. It’s also used when discussing whether such actions are right or wrong.
From a legal or social perspective, these actions might seem problematic. But from the viewpoint of human affection, they become understandable.
Today, people understand this phrase as expressing the depth of family bonds. It also serves as a starting point for thinking about the balance between justice and human emotion.
However, this doesn’t recommend covering up serious crimes. It’s understood as words that acknowledge natural human feelings.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to come from the ancient Chinese text “Analects of Confucius.”
In the “Zilu” chapter of the Analects, there’s a dialogue between Confucius and his disciple the Duke of She. They discussed the meaning of “honesty.”
The Duke of She said, “When a father steals a sheep, there are those whose son testifies against him. This is honesty.”
Confucius replied, “The honest people in my village are different from this. A father hides for his child, a child hides for his father. Honesty lies within this.”
Confucius’s words raise a deep question. Should we prioritize legal justice or human affection?
Confucian thought considers the parent-child bond the foundation of human relationships. Protecting this trust becomes the basis of society.
When parents hide children’s mistakes or children hide parents’ mistakes, it’s not simple concealment. It’s seen as an expression of trust and love within the smallest community unit: the family.
This philosophy spread to Japan and became established as a proverb.
Japan has long had a culture that values family bonds. Confucius’s teaching was naturally accepted.
It has been passed down as words expressing the subtleties of human emotion.
Usage Examples
- My son got into trouble with friends at school, but as a parent, following “A father hides for his child, a child hides for his father,” I ended up protecting him
- When my family kept quiet about my mistake at work, it was exactly the human emotion of “A father hides for his child, a child hides for his father”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because family bonds hold special meaning for humans.
Before we become members of society, we’re first born and raised as family members. In that first community, we learn unconditional love and trust.
Parents hide children’s mistakes from an instinctive desire to protect their future.
They fear one failure will ruin a child’s life. They want to give their child a chance to recover.
Children hide parents’ mistakes from gratitude for being raised and a desire to protect their dignity.
They can’t bear to see their aging parents criticized by society. It’s also an expression of kindness.
This behavior shows a human truth that exists on a different level from laws and social norms.
No one is completely right. Everyone makes mistakes and lives with weaknesses.
That’s why we need relationships where the closest people accept and protect each other’s weaknesses. It’s like a last fortress for living as human beings.
This proverb acknowledges the complexity of the human heart wavering between justice and emotion.
It teaches us that the gray zone, which can’t be divided into black or white, is where humans actually live.
When AI Hears This
When you think about parent-child relationships through the prisoner’s dilemma, surprising rationality emerges.
In the normal prisoner’s dilemma, betraying the other person benefits you more. So both end up betraying each other.
For example, if you inform on your partner to the police, only you get a lighter sentence.
But for parents and children, this isn’t a one-time game. It becomes an “infinitely repeated game” lasting decades.
Mathematician Robert Axelrod’s research proved something important. In infinitely repeated cases, the most successful strategy is “tit for tat.”
This means if the other cooperates, you cooperate. If they betray, you betray.
Parents and children repeat this game many times. If you betray once, you lose trust forever after. That’s a huge cost.
What’s more interesting is that blood relationships involve “inclusive fitness.”
Children carry half your genes. So protecting your child is the same as protecting yourself at the genetic level.
This means parents hiding for children is a rational choice in an infinite game with zero discount rate.
The act of “protecting family” often gets questioned ethically. But it’s actually the optimal solution both evolutionarily and mathematically. That’s the paradox.
This proverb contains a structure where social justice and individual rationality conflict.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of letting go of obsession with “perfection” in relationships.
Modern society has become an era where everyone worries about others’ eyes through social media. Everyone fears failure.
But this proverb stands on the premise that “everyone makes mistakes.”
When your family fails, remember the value of facing and supporting each other within the family first. Don’t expose them to the world.
This isn’t concealment. It’s giving time and space to recover.
At the same time, when you fail, believe your family will protect you. That trust becomes the strength to overcome life’s difficulties.
However, this proverb doesn’t recommend blind protection of each other.
Precisely because you’re family, you have a responsibility to point out mistakes and encourage improvement.
What’s important is balance. Protect your family’s dignity to the outside world while facing each other honestly inside.
By applying this wisdom to modern life, your family will be bound by stronger ties.
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