How to Read “If there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does”
Awanu futa areba au futa ari
Meaning of “If there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does”
“If there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does” means that even if someone isn’t compatible with you, there’s definitely someone out there who is.
In relationships, if things don’t work out with someone, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It simply means you weren’t compatible.
This proverb applies to many situations: romantic relationships, marriage, friendships, and workplace interactions.
People often use it to encourage someone struggling with relationships or feeling down about a mismatch with another person.
It delivers a positive message: you don’t need to blame yourself when you don’t get along with someone. Just keep looking for the right match.
Even today, this way of thinking continues to give hope to many people.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first appearance of this proverb in literature is unclear. However, people likely used it among common folk during the Edo period.
Looking at the structure of the phrase, we can see it uses “lid,” an everyday object, as a metaphor.
Let’s imagine life during the Edo period. Households had various containers, and each needed a matching lid.
Pots needed pot lids, jars needed jar lids. But mismatched lids and containers must have been a daily occurrence.
A lid that didn’t fit one container would fit perfectly on another. This familiar experience was chosen as a metaphor to explain the abstract concept of compatibility between people.
What’s particularly noteworthy is that this proverb starts with “a lid that doesn’t fit.” It begins by acknowledging mismatch, then offers hope.
This structure suggests it was wisdom meant to comfort and encourage people who experienced failure or setbacks in relationships.
The choice of “lid” is also interesting. A lid only has meaning when there’s a container.
In other words, this proverb reflects a Japanese view of humanity: your value is found within relationships with others.
Usage Examples
- I didn’t get along with my boss at my previous job, but if there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does—I met amazing colleagues at my current workplace
- Things ended with him, but they say if there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does, so I’m sure there’s someone right for me
Universal Wisdom
“If there’s a lid that doesn’t fit, there’s a lid that does” has been passed down through generations because it captures a universal truth about human relationships.
Everyone experiences incompatibility with others. When this happens, many people worry that something is wrong with them.
However, this proverb offers a different perspective. Being incompatible doesn’t mean either person is bad. It simply means they have “different shapes.”
Human diversity is the essence of this proverb. The world contains countless people with different “shapes.”
Personality, values, lifestyle—everything differs. Someone who’s perfect for one person may be completely wrong for another. This is natural.
This recognition saves hearts that tend to fall into self-denial after relationship failures.
Thinking more deeply, this proverb also teaches the importance of “waiting.”
Rather than forcing a mismatched lid, you need patience to keep searching until you find the right one.
And even if something doesn’t fit now, that’s not a permanent rejection. It offers hope.
Life is long, and encounters continue.
Our ancestors knew this. Relationship troubles exist across all eras, and there’s always a path to resolution.
This wisdom gives courage to keep moving forward to everyone experiencing loneliness or setbacks.
When AI Hears This
When you think about lid and container matching mathematically, surprising facts emerge.
For example, with 10 lids and 10 containers, the probability that a randomly chosen pair matches is 1 in 10.
But when you have 100 lids and 100 containers, the probability of finding a lid that fits your container increases dramatically.
Why? Because the total number of options increases 100-fold. This is called “increased probability of finding optimal solutions through expanded search space.”
What’s more interesting is this: the more lids that don’t fit a container, the more information you gain about that container’s unique shape.
In information theory, incompatibility data is also a valuable information source.
Someone rejected by 10 people on a dating app actually has evidence of clear individuality.
The probability that someone seeking that individuality exists somewhere in the market increases with market size.
In organ transplant matching systems, this principle saves lives.
An organ that doesn’t match one patient will fit another patient perfectly when viewed across the entire network.
The more local mismatches exist, the more diversity is guaranteed system-wide, ultimately raising everyone’s matching success rate.
The existence of mismatched lids is proof that the system is functioning healthily.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is the courage to know you don’t need to change yourself.
In today’s era, when people compare themselves to others on social media and tend to deny themselves, these words hold important meaning.
You are enough just as you are.
Modern society has dramatically increased our relationship options. Workplaces, hobby communities, online connections.
We’re in an environment where it’s easier to find “matching lids” than in the past.
But at the same time, aren’t many people exhausting themselves by forcing relationships with incompatible partners?
This proverb also gives us courage to let relationships go.
Rather than clinging to incompatible relationships, look toward new encounters. This isn’t running away—it’s choosing to live authentically.
What matters is not giving up after one mismatch, and continuing to search for environments and people that suit you.
A lid that fits you perfectly definitely exists somewhere. Hold that conviction and take that step forward.
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