Don’t Let Your Daughter-in-law Eat Autumn Eggplants: Japanese Proverb Meaning

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How to Read “Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat autumn eggplants”

Aki nasu wa yome ni kuwasu na

Meaning of “Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat autumn eggplants”

This saying shows a mean attitude from a mother-in-law. It means don’t let your daughter-in-law eat delicious autumn eggplants.

The real meaning is that the mother-in-law doesn’t want to share good things. She feels jealous and wants to keep the best food for herself.

In old Japan, daughters-in-law were treated like outsiders. They came from different families. It took time for them to be accepted as real family members.

This saying shows how mothers-in-law looked down on their sons’ wives. Using autumn eggplants as an example makes it easy to understand. It shows everyday mean behavior in families.

Today, people use this saying to point out unfair treatment in families. It’s not really about eggplants anymore. It’s about mean attitudes between family members.

Origin and Etymology

No one knows exactly where this saying came from. There are no clear records. But there are several different explanations.

The most common story is simple. Autumn eggplants taste really good. So mothers-in-law didn’t want to share them with their daughters-in-law.

Eggplants are summer vegetables. But autumn eggplants are special. They have fewer seeds and firmer flesh. They taste even better than summer ones.

But there’s a completely different explanation too. Some people say eggplants make your body cold. So eating autumn eggplants could be bad for pregnant women.

In this version, the mother-in-law is actually being kind. She’s trying to protect her daughter-in-law’s health.

There’s also a third explanation about having children. Autumn eggplants have few seeds. Some people believed eating them meant you wouldn’t have babies.

The word for eggplant sounds like “to accomplish” in Japanese. So eggplants were considered lucky. But seedless ones might bring bad luck for having children.

This saying appears in books from the Edo period (1603-1868). But we don’t know which meaning was the original one.

Over time, most people understood it as showing a mean mother-in-law. That’s how it’s remembered today. The saying reflects complicated family relationships from the past.

Interesting Facts

Eggplants came to Japan from China during the Nara period (710-794). At first, only rich nobles could eat them.

By the Edo period, regular people could buy eggplants too. The first eggplants of the season were very expensive. People paid high prices for them.

There’s a famous saying about lucky first dreams of the new year. It goes “First Fuji, second hawk, third eggplant.” This shows how special eggplants were to Japanese people.

Autumn eggplants taste better for a scientific reason. After surviving the hot summer, eggplants grow in cool autumn weather. They develop fewer seeds, firmer flesh, and sweeter taste.

Some farmers knew a longer version of this saying. It went “Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat autumn eggplants, because without seeds she won’t have children.” This version shows concern, not meanness.

Usage Examples

  • That mother-in-law acts just like “Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat autumn eggplants.” I feel sorry for her daughter-in-law.
  • Hiding delicious snacks and eating them alone is like “Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat autumn eggplants.” That’s really mean.

Universal Wisdom

This saying has survived for hundreds of years. It shows something deep about human emotions. Even in families where people should love each other, negative feelings appear.

Jealousy, greed, and wanting to feel superior are part of human nature. These feelings exist across all times and cultures.

What’s interesting is how the saying uses something small. It’s not about money or power. It’s about delicious food. Can you share small, everyday happiness with others?

That’s where your true character shows. Using autumn eggplants as an example makes it real. Small acts of meanness in daily life can destroy relationships.

The saying also shows how humans think about “insiders and outsiders.” It’s hard to accept someone without blood ties as real family. We naturally want to protect what’s ours.

This happens today too, not just in families. We see it at work, at school, and in communities. Our ancestors understood this human weakness. They put it into a short, memorable phrase.

When AI Hears This

This saying is clever because it has multiple meanings. The speaker doesn’t have to say which meaning they intend. In game theory, this is called “strategic ambiguity.”

Imagine a mother-in-law says this to her daughter-in-law. She might really mean “I don’t want to share delicious food with you.” But if someone questions her, she can say “I was worried about your health!”

The speaker has insurance. She can hide her true feelings behind a kind interpretation. This uses “information asymmetry.” Only the speaker knows the real meaning. The listener can only guess.

Why did this saying survive so long? If it only meant “be mean to daughters-in-law,” it would have disappeared. Society changes and rejects purely negative ideas.

But because it has multiple meanings, everyone could use it. Kind people used it kindly. Mean people used it meanly. It worked for everyone.

This ambiguity was actually a survival strategy. The saying stayed useful across centuries because it was flexible.

We see the same thing on social media today. People post things that “could mean anything” to avoid criticism. This saying used the same trick hundreds of years ago.

The ambiguity wasn’t accidental. It was a calculated defense mechanism built into the language.

Lessons for Today

This saying teaches us about kindness to people close to us. That’s the foundation of good relationships. Small acts of selfishness hurt trust, even if they seem minor.

Don’t treat people differently based on their position. Think about new students at school, new workers at a job, or new neighbors. There are many “outsiders” around us.

Can you accept them as real members of your group? Can you share good things with them? Your answer shows your true character.

The saying also teaches us something positive. Sharing delicious things with others brings real happiness. It feels better than keeping everything for yourself.

When you share joy with family and friends, relationships grow stronger and warmer. Small acts of kindness matter. Little considerations add up.

These daily actions build trust over time. They create relationships filled with warmth and support. Choose to share, not to hoard. Choose kindness over selfishness.

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