How to Read “If you stand up one side, this side won’t stand”
Achira tatereba kochira ga tatanu
Meaning of “If you stand up one side, this side won’t stand”
This proverb describes a situation where trying to satisfy one person makes another person unhappy. It means that satisfying both sides at the same time is extremely difficult.
People use it especially when they must coordinate between multiple people with different positions.
For example, it applies to family disagreements, workplace conflicts of interest, or mediating between friends. When you fulfill one person’s request, someone else becomes dissatisfied.
This creates a situation where you’re caught in the middle.
People use this proverb because it expresses the difficulty of balancing needs better than simply saying “it’s hard.” It accurately conveys both the challenge of reconciliation and the mediator’s struggle.
This expression is still frequently used in modern society. Situations where you must respond to multiple demands with limited resources or time are actually increasing.
This proverb continues to live on as a phrase that acknowledges the reality that perfect solutions don’t exist. Yet it also expresses the struggle of people who still try their best.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first appearance of this proverb in literature is unclear. However, people believe it was already widely used among common people during the Edo period.
Looking at the structure of the phrase, the verb “tateru” (to stand up) is key. “Tateru” means “to preserve someone’s honor” or “to satisfy someone.”
This was an extremely important concept in human relationships during the Edo period.
The background of this expression likely relates to the unique complexity of Japanese social relationships. In Edo period townspeople’s society, various human relationships were closely intertwined.
These included family, relatives, business associates, and neighborhood connections. In such an environment, one decision affected multiple people.
Prioritizing someone inevitably meant someone else would be dissatisfied. This situation occurred daily.
The contrasting expressions “achira” (that side) and “kochira” (this side) are also interesting. They don’t just show a binary choice problem.
They symbolically express the difficulty of life’s choices. Also, ending with the negative form “tatanu” (won’t stand) emphasizes how hard the problem is to solve.
This proverb became rooted in Japanese people’s sense of life over many years. It expresses the hardship of coordinators and mediators.
Usage Examples
- In the budget allocation meeting, if we approve the sales department’s request, the development department will struggle. If you stand up one side, this side won’t stand.
- My children’s lesson pickup times overlap, and if you stand up one side, this side won’t stand. I’m really troubled.
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because it brilliantly captures a fundamental contradiction in human society. We all have the instinct to pursue our own desires and interests.
But at the same time, as social creatures, we can only live within relationships with others. Where these two truths meet, conflicts of interest inevitably arise.
What’s interesting is that this proverb doesn’t say “choose one side.” Instead, by focusing on “the difficulty of standing up both sides,” it acknowledges the sincere effort of those trying to coordinate.
It teaches that the attitude of trying to find balance is what makes us human. This is true even when we accept that perfect solutions don’t exist.
Also, this proverb represents wisdom born from the perspective of those in the middle rather than those in power. With absolute power, you can decide unilaterally.
But most people live within various relationships. As parents, as friends, as members of a workplace, we constantly coordinate multiple positions.
This proverb continues to be used today because the nature of human relationships hasn’t changed. Technology advances and society becomes more complex.
Yet the structure of conflicts that arise between people remains surprisingly universal.
When AI Hears This
Looking at this proverb mathematically, the question “Is this really zero-sum?” emerges. A zero-sum game is a situation where one person’s gain becomes another person’s loss directly.
For example, when two people divide a cake, if one takes more, the other gets less. This is perfectly zero-sum.
However, most human relationships are actually not zero-sum. Consider a disagreement between a boss and subordinate.
At first glance, it looks like “if you adopt one person’s plan, the other will be dissatisfied.” But what if we add a time dimension?
If you create a rule to adopt the boss’s plan this time and the subordinate’s plan next time, both parties’ satisfaction increases long-term. In other words, by changing the framework of the game itself, the sum of minus one and plus one can become positive rather than zero.
Game theory calls this “Pareto improvement.” It’s a transition to a state where no one loses and at least one person gains.
The deadlock this proverb shows is often caused by “not enough variables.” Research shows that by introducing new variables like budget, time, methods, or order, you can actually find solutions where both sides stand.
Humans easily get trapped by the binary choice in front of them. But mathematically, there are always three or more options.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern people is the importance of not demanding perfect solutions too much. If you push yourself too hard trying to satisfy everyone, you’ll exhaust yourself.
Sometimes you need the courage to accept the reality that “a complete solution doesn’t exist.”
At the same time, this proverb suggests the wisdom of setting priorities. If you can’t fulfill everything simultaneously, you need to determine what’s truly important.
Someone may be dissatisfied in the short term. But making the best choice from a long-term perspective can ultimately benefit more people.
Also, when you’re caught in the middle, your communication skills are truly tested. By carefully explaining why you made that decision and what considerations you made, the way it’s received changes greatly even if the result is the same.
Even without a perfect answer, a sincere attitude always gets through to people.
When you struggle as a coordinator, remember this proverb. Your hardship is something many people have experienced universally.
Even if you’re not perfect, your effort to do your best is surely seen by someone.
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