How to Read “鴛鴦の契り”
En’ō no chigiri
Meaning of “鴛鴦の契り”
“Mandarin duck’s bond” is a proverb that expresses a promise or relationship where a married couple continues to love each other throughout their lives, bound by deep affection that never separates them.
This expression originates from the habit of mandarin duck couples who always stay close together and never change mates throughout their lifetime. It refers not to mere romantic feelings, but to the ideal relationship of a married couple who walk together through both difficult and smooth times, supporting each other. Even today, it is often used in wedding speeches and celebrations such as golden wedding anniversaries for couples, employed with respect for couples who have been together for many years and with wishes for newlywed couples. This phrase embodies the meaning of deep bonds accompanied by lifelong responsibility and love, rather than temporary emotions.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of “Mandarin duck’s bond” traces back to ancient Chinese observations and beliefs about mandarin ducks (oshidori). Mandarin ducks are distinguished by calling the male “en” and the female “ō,” and in ancient China, they were believed to always act in pairs, and when one died, the other would follow in death.
This belief about these birds appears frequently in Chinese classical literature. Particularly in the “Book of Songs” and Han dynasty poetry, mandarin ducks were sung about as symbols of marital love, and the expression “Mandarin duck’s bond” was born. “Chigiri” means promise or vow, referring to a promise so firm it is sworn before gods and Buddha.
This concept was transmitted to Japan along with Chinese literary works from the Nara to Heian periods. Since mandarin ducks actually inhabit Japan as well, by observing their habits, the symbolic meaning from China took root in Japanese culture too. In Heian period waka poetry and narrative literature, mandarin ducks came to be used when expressing deep marital affection, and “Mandarin duck’s bond” became established as an important expression in Japanese classical literature.
Interesting Facts
Actually, according to modern zoological observations, mandarin ducks do not necessarily stay with the same mate for life, and sometimes change partners each breeding season. Since ancient people’s observations were limited to certain periods, such beautiful misunderstandings may have arisen.
Similar expressions to “Mandarin duck’s bond” exist around the world – in the West, swans are symbols of marital love, and in Korea, cranes serve this role. It’s an interesting commonality that in each culture, beautiful and graceful birds have been chosen as symbols of ideal marital relationships.
Usage Examples
- That couple truly seems to have formed a Mandarin duck’s bond – even after 50 years, their harmonious relationship is heartwarming to see.
- At the wedding, I sincerely wished for the bride and groom to form a Mandarin duck’s bond.
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the ideal of “Mandarin duck’s bond” faces significant changes. With rising divorce rates and the spread of individualism, the value of staying with one partner for life is no longer necessarily absolute.
Particularly with women’s advancement in society and the possibility of economic independence, there is also the aspect that it is no longer necessary to continue an unhappy married life. Additionally, the extension of average lifespan, which has made the period couples spend together much longer than in the past, is also one of the factors increasing the difficulty of maintaining relationships.
On the other hand, in modern times where the spread of SNS and matching apps has made it possible to choose partners from among many more options, conversely, the longing for “the destined person” has also grown stronger. Precisely because this is an era where diverse values are recognized, there are people who seek the true meaning of “Mandarin duck’s bond.”
In modern times, this term is not necessarily limited to legal marriage relationships, but has come to refer to relationships in general where people support each other as life partners. This can be said to be a modern interpretation that emphasizes substance over form.
When AI Hears This
Japan’s divorce rate is about 35%. In other words, in an era where one in three couples separate, why do we continue to seek “eternal love”?
In reality, mandarin ducks change partners every year. They meet in spring, and after finishing raising their young, they go their separate ways in what could be called “seasonal marriage.” Yet humans have elevated these mandarin ducks as the “ideal couple who stay together for life.” What an ironic story indeed.
Modern psychology of love tells us there are two types of human affection: “passionate love” and “companionate love.” Passionate love typically cools down after an average of 2-3 years. In other words, the mandarin ducks’ “seasonal marriage” might actually be closer to humans’ natural pattern of affection.
Still, we yearn for “eternal vows” because in our unstable modern society, we have a psychological need to seek “things that don’t change.” For example, now that job changes have become commonplace, we wish that at least love could be permanent.
Mandarin ducks build fresh relationships with new partners each year. Meanwhile, humans find value in deepening long-term relationships with one partner. We can’t say which approach leads to greater happiness, but surely only humans struggle with the gap between ideals and reality.
Lessons for Today
What “Mandarin duck’s bond” teaches modern people is that true love is not a momentary emotion, but an accumulation of daily choices. It shows the importance of the will to accept your partner’s changes, continue growing yourself, and walk together.
In modern society, we tend to seek immediate results, but deep bonds are nurtured over time. Rather than being misled by the seemingly happy moments of others we see on social media, it is important to carefully nurture the relationship with the partner in front of us.
Moreover, this term can be applied not only to romantic relationships but also to friendships and family relationships. It teaches us the value of relationships where we support each other especially during difficult times, rejoice in each other’s growth, and age together. Rather than seeking perfect relationships, it gives us the courage to continue choosing to be together while accepting each other’s imperfections. Perhaps it is precisely because of modern times that this ancient wisdom resonates freshly.
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