How to Read “偕老同穴の契り”
Kairō dōketsu no chigiri
Meaning of “偕老同穴の契り”
“Together old same hole’s pledge” refers to a promise based on deep affection where a married couple vows to spend their entire lives together and remain together eternally by entering the same grave even after death.
This expression goes beyond mere romantic feelings and represents the resolve to overcome all of life’s difficulties together. It signifies not only the passionate love of youth, but a deep bond of continuing to hold unchanging affection even as one ages, supporting each other until the very end.
In modern times, it is often used at milestones such as weddings and diamond wedding anniversaries, and is valued as an elegant expression that represents the ideal relationship between spouses. The reason for using this expression is to emphasize not temporary emotions, but lifelong unchanging love and responsibility. Even in modern society, its value remains unchanged as an expression that captures the essence of true marital love.
Origin and Etymology
“Together old same hole’s pledge” is an expression that originates from the ancient Chinese classic “Book of Songs” (Shijing). The “Book of Songs” is China’s oldest collection of poetry, gathering poems from approximately the 11th to 6th centuries BCE, and in the poem “Royal Airs – Great Chariot” within it, we find the expression “In life, share the same room; in death, share the same hole.”
“Together old” means “growing old together,” while “same hole” refers to “entering the same grave.” In ancient China, there was a custom where couples wished to be together even after death and were actually buried in the same tomb. This custom became established as a linguistic expression, becoming a beautiful way to express eternal love between spouses.
It is believed to have been introduced to Japan around the Heian period along with Chinese classics, and began appearing in literary works of aristocratic society. It was particularly valued as words of vow during marriage ceremonies, and was also used in warrior society as an expression representing the ideal relationship between spouses. Even today, it is sometimes used in wedding speeches and congratulatory addresses, and is cherished as an expression deeply rooted in Japanese culture.
Interesting Facts
In ancient China, there was actually a custom called “joint burial” where couples were buried in the same grave, and many joint burial tombs of couples have been discovered through archaeological excavations. Particularly during the Han dynasty, a burial method called “same hole, different chambers” was practiced, where couples’ graves were connected underground by passages.
The Japanese imperial family has also been influenced by this philosophy, with many examples of emperors and empresses being buried in the same mausoleum, which are still known today as “joint mausoleums.”
Usage Examples
- My grandparents made Together old same hole’s pledge 60 years ago, and they still hold hands while taking walks
- At the wedding ceremony, my uncle used the phrase Together old same hole’s pledge in his speech to bless the bride and groom
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the meaning of “Together old same hole’s pledge” has undergone significant changes. The value of “together until death” that was once taken for granted is no longer necessarily absolute in modern times, which emphasize individual freedom and self-realization.
With rising divorce rates and the emergence of diverse family forms, an increasing number of people feel that the perpetual view of marriage expressed by this phrase is unrealistic. Particularly among younger generations, who tend to have more realistic and flexible attitudes toward marriage, the expression “Together old same hole” can sometimes feel too heavy.
However, as society ages, the meaning of growing old together with a partner is being reevaluated. In an era of 100-year lifespans, the value of relationships where people can support each other over long periods could be said to be actually increasing.
Furthermore, in modern times, discussions about same-sex marriage and partnership systems have become more active, and the deep bonds expressed by “Together old same hole’s pledge” are now understood as ideals of partnership in a broader sense, transcending the traditional framework of husband and wife. Even though forms may change, the beauty of people being deeply connected continues to touch people’s hearts across time.
When AI Hears This
The deep-sea creature Euplectella, commonly known as Venus flower basket, exhibits a remarkable ecological phenomenon where a mated pair of shrimp live together for their entire lives within the same glass-like cage structure at depths of 100-1000 meters on the ocean floor. This biological phenomenon that inspired the idiom “growing old together in the same grave” wasn’t merely a beautiful metaphor, but actually the result of observing a rational survival strategy.
According to marine biology research, in the extreme environment of the deep sea, finding a partner is extraordinarily difficult, making it essential for species survival to maintain bonds with a mate once found. The shrimp inside the Venus flower basket cooperate throughout their lives to protect themselves from predators, efficiently secure food, and ensure successful reproduction. This “monogamous symbiosis” evolved as the optimal solution under harsh environmental conditions.
While modern society’s divorce rate reaches approximately 35%, from a biological perspective, humans are originally a species adapted for long-term partnerships. Brain hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin evolved as mechanisms to promote long-term bond formation. However, today’s affluent environment with abundant choices has eliminated the urgency of “cooperate or perish” that characterizes the deep sea.
The ancient people who held up the Venus flower basket’s ecology as an ideal may have intuitively understood the biological truth that in human relationships too, mutual dependence and cooperation generate true strength.
Lessons for Today
What “Together old same hole’s pledge” teaches modern people is that true love is not a temporary emotion, but something that must be cultivated over time. Precisely because we live in an era where we can connect instantly through social media and easily sever relationships, the value of “continuing love” that this phrase embodies shines brightly.
What’s important is not finding the perfect partner, but having the resolve to grow together while accepting each other’s changes. You too should consider loving not just the present but also the future of those close to you. This applies not only to romantic partners or spouses, but also to relationships with family and friends.
While modern society tends to emphasize “being yourself,” this phrase teaches us the beauty of building “being yourselves together.” There lies a deep joy and sense of security that cannot be experienced alone.
Comments