How to Read “People have three resentments”
Hito ni san’on ari
Meaning of “People have three resentments”
“People have three resentments” means that everyone inevitably carries three grudges or resentments within them. This expresses a fundamental truth about human nature: no matter who you are, you carry some form of resentment or dissatisfaction deep in your heart as you go through life.
This expression is used when trying to understand others in relationships or when examining your own emotions. Even people who seem calm and kind on the surface carry wounds from past experiences, relationships that hurt them, or hopes that were never fulfilled.
Today, we understand this to mean that no one is perfect. Everyone lives while carrying some negative emotions inside. This doesn’t mean you should distrust people. Rather, it teaches us to recognize human complexity and be considerate of what others might be feeling inside.
Origin and Etymology
There are no clear historical records about the origin of “People have three resentments.” However, we can make interesting observations from the structure of this phrase.
The number “three” has long been used symbolically in Japanese and Chinese culture to represent “multiple” or “many.” In phrases like “third time’s the charm” or “three years on a stone,” the number doesn’t mean exactly three. It means “several” or “many.”
The character for “resentment” represents grudges or bitter feelings held deep in the heart. This saying likely emerged under the influence of Buddhist and Confucian thought. Buddhism especially examines human desires and attachments deeply, recognizing resentment as one of the profound emotions humans carry.
This phrase demonstrates deep human observation. It expresses a fundamental truth: even the calmest-seeming person carries some resentment or dissatisfaction as they live their life. No one is completely pure and free of all grudges. This saying contains a somewhat cold but accurate understanding of human nature.
Usage Examples
- That person seems gentle, but people have three resentments, so they might be hiding something in their heart
- Just as people have three resentments, I wonder if I’m also carrying grudges without realizing it
Universal Wisdom
The proverb “People have three resentments” brilliantly captures the depth and complexity of the human heart. Why was this phrase created and passed down through generations? Because humans are fundamentally contradictory beings.
We maintain calmness and kindness on the surface to live in society. But deep in our hearts, we carry various negative emotions. Unfair treatment we received in the past. Efforts that went unrewarded. Anger at unreasonable events. This isn’t human weakness. It’s the natural state of beings with emotions.
The deep insight this phrase offers touches the essence of human understanding. No one is completely pure and free of all resentment. Even people who seem like saints carry some wound or dissatisfaction deep in their hearts.
That’s why this phrase teaches us humility. Don’t judge others superficially. Think about what they might be feeling inside. And regarding yourself, don’t deny the negative emotions you carry. Accept that these feelings are part of being human. These two perspectives lead to deeper human understanding.
When AI Hears This
When you map human relationships as a network, you see both friendly connections and hostile ones mixed together. What’s interesting here is the number three for hostile relationships. In network theory, when negative links (hostile relationships) around a node (person) increase, information flow centered on that node becomes distorted.
Let’s think concretely. If you have one enemy, you can simply avoid that person. With two enemies, you need to watch for the risk of them working together. But with three enemies, the situation changes completely. Three points can form a triangle. When your three enemies connect with each other, they complete an “encirclement” around you.
What’s more important is information asymmetry. With three enemies, the combinations for them to exchange information about you aren’t just three patterns. Information gets amplified and distorted through multiple pathways. Your reputation gets created in places you can’t control.
Network science shows that when negative links exceed a certain number, that node’s centrality (influence within the network) drops sharply. The number three represents both the upper limit of hostile relationships humans can cognitively manage and a threshold marking dangerous territory in network structure. Ancient people must have recognized this critical point through experience.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of deep human understanding and tolerance. The person posting their perfect life on social media and your always-smiling coworker both carry some conflict or dissatisfaction deep inside. That’s completely normal.
This understanding frees us in two directions. First, understanding others. When someone occasionally shows a sharp attitude or an inexplicable reaction, you can develop tolerance by thinking they have their own circumstances. No one is perfect.
Second, kindness toward yourself. The resentment and dissatisfaction you carry in your heart doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It’s proof that you’re living as a human being. You don’t need to force yourself to forget these feelings or blame yourself for having them.
What matters is not being controlled by those emotions. Living each day positively while carrying something deep in your heart. That’s what it means to live as a human being.
Comments