Those Who Receive From Others Fear Others; Those Who Oppose Others Look Down On Others: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Those who receive from others fear others; those who oppose others look down on others”

Hito ni ukuru mono wa hito o osore, hito ni hodokosu mono wa hito ni ogoru

Meaning of “Those who receive from others fear others; those who oppose others look down on others”

This proverb reveals a truth about human psychology. People who receive help or favors from others tend to become humble. People who give help or favors tend to become arrogant.

When you’re on the receiving end, you naturally feel grateful. You respect the person helping you and feel a sense of reverence toward them.

But when you’re the one giving, something shifts. Without realizing it, you might start looking down on others. You might feel superior and develop an arrogant attitude.

This saying warns us about how our position in relationships affects our mindset. It’s often used as a warning to those in power. This includes people with wealth, knowledge, or authority.

Even today, this psychology plays out everywhere. We see it between bosses and employees, seniors and juniors, helpers and those being helped. The proverb sharply points out how our position can dangerously change our hearts.

Origin and Etymology

The exact origin of this proverb has several theories. It likely came to Japan as a teaching influenced by Chinese classical thought, especially Confucianism and Taoism.

The structure shows careful balance. “Receive” contrasts with “give,” and “fear” contrasts with “look down on.” This balanced structure is typical of classical Chinese sayings.

“Ukuru” means to receive favors or benefits. “Hodokosu” means to give or bestow. The word “hodokosu” isn’t common today, but it was used in ancient times to mean “to give” or “to bestow.”

The choice of this word itself implies power dynamics in human relationships.

What’s fascinating is that this proverb isn’t just moral teaching. It comes from sharp observation of human psychology. People who receive favors naturally fear and respect the giver.

On the flip side, people who give easily become arrogant from feelings of superiority. Our ancestors clearly understood this human weakness.

Similar expressions appear in Edo period teaching books. This suggests the saying was widely shared among samurai and merchants as a warning about human relationships.

Interesting Facts

The word “hodokosu” has an interesting history. It originally came from “hoko o mukeru,” meaning “to point a spear.” This aggressive meaning transformed into “to offer” or “to give.”

The journey from pointing a weapon to offering something friendly shows fascinating linguistic evolution.

Modern psychology recognizes something called the “power paradox.” This phenomenon shows that people who gain power tend to lose empathy and become more arrogant.

This proverb identified hundreds of years ago what modern science now proves about human psychology.

Usage Examples

• His attitude changed after he became successful. It’s exactly “Those who receive from others fear others; those who oppose others look down on others.”
• Since I’m receiving a scholarship, I have to stay humble. “Those who receive from others fear others; those who oppose others look down on others” is so true.

Universal Wisdom

This proverb speaks a timeless truth. Our hearts change easily depending on our position. We want to believe our character stays consistent, but our situation dramatically affects our attitudes and feelings.

When we’re on the receiving end, we naturally become humble. This isn’t calculated—it’s instinctive. Gratitude, guilt, and fear of losing the relationship make us act with humility.

But when positions reverse and we become the giver, subtle changes occur in our hearts. We think “I’m doing this for them.” We feel superior because they need us. We sense we can control them.

This psychological shift can happen to anyone. That’s why this proverb functions as a warning. When we gain power, wealth, knowledge, or status, we must be most careful.

Being in a position to give is actually when humility gets tested most. Our ancestors taught us to recognize human weakness and guard against it.

Understanding the fragility of the human heart and having wisdom to guard against it—this is why this proverb has been passed down through generations.

When AI Hears This

From a control engineering perspective, receiving favors and opposing others create two completely different systems.

When someone receives favors and fears the giver, it’s a classic negative feedback loop. If your attitude becomes arrogant, gratitude and dependence automatically apply the brakes.

Like sweating to cool down when body temperature rises, self-correction happens before the relationship destabilizes. This loop keeps relationships within a stable range and brings long-term stability.

Just as body temperature regulation maintains around 36 degrees Celsius, human relationships stabilize around a set point of appropriate tension.

When someone opposes others and becomes arrogant, it’s a positive feedback loop. Successful opposition increases confidence, leading to more arrogance, which creates more conflict.

This amplification structure resembles audio feedback when a microphone gets too close to a speaker. A small sound amplifies repeatedly until it becomes unbearable noise.

Similarly, small conflicts spiral toward uncontrollable breakdown.

What’s interesting is that living organisms use negative feedback as their basic survival system. Positive feedback is only used for short-term dramatic changes like childbirth or blood clotting.

In human relationships too, if we seek sustainability, we need negative feedback—the self-restraint mechanism of humility.

Lessons for Today

This proverb teaches us to constantly view our position objectively. If you’re currently in a position to give something to someone, recognize this as a dangerous moment when you might lose humility.

When you guide employees as a boss, raise children as a parent, or mentor juniors as a senior, check yourself. Are you unconsciously becoming arrogant?

At the same time, when you’re receiving, you don’t need to be overly servile. Gratitude is important, but it doesn’t mean losing your dignity as an equal human being.

Healthy relationships are those where both giver and receiver maintain mutual respect.

In modern society, positions are fluid. You might give today and receive tomorrow. That’s why maintaining humility and compassion regardless of position shows true human maturity.

This proverb reminds us of the importance of having a flexible and warm heart.