How to Read “The mouse may forget the wall, but the wall never forgets the mouse”
nezumi wa kabe wo wasuru tomo kabe wa nezumi wo wasurezu
Meaning of “The mouse may forget the wall, but the wall never forgets the mouse”
This proverb expresses a fundamental truth about human relationships. The person who receives a favor may forget it, but the person who gives it remembers.
People who receive help tend to forget that kindness as time passes. When they’re in trouble, they feel deeply grateful. But once their situation improves, they often forget who helped them get there.
However, the person who offered help remembers their act of kindness well.
This proverb is mainly used to warn against ungrateful behavior. It’s also used when someone accepts that not being thanked is simply human nature. There’s no point in expecting gratitude.
This psychology hasn’t changed in modern society. People who receive support act as if it’s natural. Meanwhile, those who provided support feel complicated emotions.
This situation appears in workplaces, homes, and friendships alike. The proverb captures this subtle aspect of human nature with remarkable accuracy.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records explain the origin of this proverb. However, we can make interesting observations from the structure of the phrase itself.
The contrast between the mouse and the wall is worth noting. The mouse is small and creates holes to invade the wall. The wall, on the other hand, stands still and silent.
This contrast forms the core of the proverb’s meaning.
When the mouse forgets the wall, it shows how the mouse stops caring about the wall after passing through. For the mouse, the wall is just a temporary obstacle. Once it’s done, the mouse forgets about it.
But from the wall’s perspective, the hole remains as a permanent wound.
This expression brilliantly captures the psychological asymmetry between those who receive favors and those who give them. People who receive favors enjoy the benefits naturally. As time passes, they tend to forget.
Meanwhile, those who give favors keep the memory of what they did.
Japanese traditional culture places great importance on obligation and gratitude. This cultural background likely influenced the proverb. It has been passed down as a warning against forgetting the kindness of others.
The proverb sharply observes the subtleties of the human heart.
Usage Examples
- I helped him so much, but “the mouse may forget the wall, but the wall never forgets the mouse”—he doesn’t even contact me anymore
- They say “the mouse may forget the wall, but the wall never forgets the mouse,” so we should remember the favors we receive
Universal Wisdom
This proverb has been passed down because it captures a universal truth. It reveals the asymmetry of human memory.
People remember the favors they give better than the favors they receive. This is an unavoidable aspect of human psychology.
Once you escape a difficult situation, the pain fades. The faces of those who helped you grow distant. But the experience of helping someone stays vivid in your memory as your own action.
This asymmetry creates subtle distortions in relationships. The helper thinks, “I did so much for them.” The helped person thinks, “That was so long ago.”
This temperature gap sometimes destroys relationships.
However, this proverb isn’t just criticism. Rather, it’s wisdom that calmly observes human nature. It teaches that those who give favors should act assuming the recipient will forget.
Don’t expect anything in return. Be prepared to be forgotten when you show kindness. Then you won’t be disappointed.
At the same time, it teaches those who receive favors the importance of consciously remembering gratitude. People are forgetful creatures. That’s exactly why we need to make the effort to remember.
This wisdom is the secret to maintaining long-lasting relationships.
When AI Hears This
The moment a mouse gnaws a wall, a decisive asymmetry in information recording occurs. In the mouse’s brain, it’s recorded as neural signals. These are electrochemical patterns distributed across approximately 86 billion neurons.
Meanwhile, the mark carved in the wall is fixed as a physical structural change. From an information theory perspective, the former is a “high-entropy state” while the latter is a “low-entropy state.”
Entropy is a measure of disorder. The mouse’s memory constantly mixes with other information in its brain. It degrades over time. Human memory works the same way.
Research shows that about 70 percent of information is lost after one day. This happens because neural circuits are plastic—they continuously change in flexible ways.
In contrast, the mark on the wall is a stable structure at the molecular level. In wood, it’s the destruction of cell walls. In stone, it’s deformation of crystal structure. These marks can last for decades or even centuries.
This difference comes from the “rewrite frequency” of the recording medium. The mouse’s brain is constantly overwritten with new information for survival. But the wall receives no external input.
In information theory, media without rewriting preserve information longer. In other words, traces of actions remain more reliably than the actor’s memory. This physical law perfectly matches the lesson about human relationships.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of consciously practicing gratitude.
We live each day receiving help from many people. But these benefits become taken for granted over time. Our feelings of gratitude fade.
This proverb teaches us to recognize this human tendency. We need to make the effort to remember gratitude deliberately.
Specifically, take time regularly to remember the people who have supported you. Parents, teachers, bosses, friends, and countless people whose names you don’t even know.
Consciously keep their kindness in your memory. When possible, express your gratitude in words or actions.
On the other hand, when you’re the one showing kindness, don’t expect anything in return. Assume the other person will forget. Help only to the extent that you’re okay with that.
Then you won’t be hurt if you’re not thanked.
This proverb gives us wisdom for smooth relationships. Those who receive should not forget gratitude. Those who give should not seek returns.
Both attitudes will make your relationships richer and warmer.
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