How to Read “Flattering words resemble loyalty”
Neigen wa chū ni nitari
Meaning of “Flattering words resemble loyalty”
“Flattering words resemble loyalty” means that words of flattery sound very similar to words of true loyalty. This makes them extremely difficult to tell apart.
This proverb warns us about the danger of taking people’s words at face value. Sincere advice spoken from genuine concern can sound exactly like sweet words meant to manipulate you for personal gain.
The more pleasant the words sound to your ears, the harder it becomes to judge their true intent.
This proverb is used when leaders listen to their subordinates’ opinions. It also applies when trying to understand someone’s true intentions in relationships.
People use it to remind themselves not to be fooled by others’ words. Even in modern society, the importance of seeing through words remains unchanged.
Think of praise on social media or excessive compliments in business settings. We still need the ability to recognize true intentions behind words.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb is believed to come from ancient Chinese philosophical thought. “Neigen” means words spoken only to please someone – flattery. “Chū” means sincere words spoken from genuine concern for your lord or companion.
In ancient China, many retainers served around rulers. Some truly cared about the nation and offered honest counsel. Others used sweet words to please the ruler and protect their own positions.
Confucian teachings considered the ability to distinguish true loyal subjects from flatterers an essential quality for rulers.
What’s interesting is that this proverb focuses on how these two types of words “resemble” each other. If they were completely different, telling them apart would be easy.
But both appear on the surface to be spoken with the other person’s interests in mind. This makes distinguishing them extremely difficult.
Flatterers act as if they speak from loyal hearts. To the listener, both sound the same. This proverb captures a fundamental truth about human relationships.
This teaching came to Japan along with Chinese classics. It was likely passed down as an important lesson in master-servant relationships during the samurai era.
Usage Examples
- That person’s proposal is a case of “flattering words resemble loyalty” – it’s hard to tell if it’s truly for the company or just for their own promotion
- When listening to subordinates’ opinions, remember that “flattering words resemble loyalty” – the more pleasant the words sound, the more carefully you need to examine them
Universal Wisdom
“Flattering words resemble loyalty” reveals a fundamental difficulty in human communication. Why do these two types of words resemble each other? Because both take the form of “this is for your benefit.”
Humans are social creatures who live through relationships with others. We use words to maintain these relationships. But words have two faces.
One face is as a tool for conveying truth. The other is as a weapon for protecting our own position.
What’s interesting is that flatterers don’t always act from pure malice. In many cases, they too choose such words to survive, to be recognized, and to secure safety.
In other words, flattery is also a human survival strategy.
This proverb has been passed down through generations because people in every era have faced the difficulty of discerning truth in words. Sweet words always gather around those with power.
The voices of those who speak truth tend to be drowned out. Yet precisely because of this, humans have continued to sharpen their ability to see through deception.
This tension might be the very essence of human society.
When AI Hears This
In information theory, a receiver needs one absolute condition to make correct judgments: the ability to distinguish signal from noise. However, loyal advice and flattery share the same transmission characteristic – they both “sound pleasant.”
This means the receiver, the person in power, cannot tell them apart. This is the same phenomenon as “interference in the same frequency band” in communications engineering.
What’s more serious is that people in power receive massive amounts of information input. Human information processing capacity has limits. Psychology suggests we can process only about seven pieces of information at once.
This means people in power constantly exist in a state of “insufficient bandwidth.” Under these conditions, the brain enters energy-saving mode and processes information in simplified ways.
Specifically, it uses the simple judgment criterion of “pleasant equals correct.”
Ideally, loyal advice should be distinguished as “a signal that’s hard to hear but brings long-term benefit.” Flattery should be identified as “noise that sounds pleasant but causes long-term loss.”
But judging differences in time axis requires advanced computation to simulate the future. The information-overloaded brain of someone in power cannot pay this computational cost.
As a result, they filter information using only “pleasantness,” which can be judged instantly. They end up taking in only flattery, which is noise. This represents a structural vulnerability in information systems.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the wisdom of “not judging people by the surface of their words alone.” Praise on social media, compliments at work, advice from friends.
We’re showered with countless words every day. Among them are both truth and calculation.
What matters is not to immediately become suspicious. If you become paranoid, human relationships themselves break down. Instead, watch for consistency between words and actions.
People who truly care about you will tell you things that are hard to hear. On the other hand, keep some distance and observe people who only offer pleasant words.
This proverb is also a question for yourself. Are you speaking truth to others? Or are you choosing words different from your true feelings just to be liked?
The ability to see through the truth of words doesn’t develop overnight. But it starts with awareness. Don’t be fooled by superficial words.
Develop the eye to see people’s actions and consistency. That is the unchanging lesson this proverb offers to those of us living in modern times.
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