How to Read “Befriend those who resemble you”
Niru wo tomo
Meaning of “Befriend those who resemble you”
“Befriend those who resemble you” means that people with similar circumstances or personalities naturally become close to each other.
People feel comfortable with others who share common ground. They open their hearts more easily to such people. This proverb captures an essential truth about human relationships.
People who grew up in similar environments connect easily. Those who share the same values understand each other naturally.
People with similar hobbies or interests find conversation flows smoothly. They grasp each other’s feelings without much effort. Friendship blooms naturally between them.
You see this everywhere today. Students bond with clubmates at school. Coworkers feel special connections with those who joined the company at the same time.
This expression explains why common ground matters so much in forming relationships.
Why do certain people get along so well? Why do specific groups form? This proverb still provides convincing answers to these questions.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records explain the origin of “Befriend those who resemble you.” However, the structure of the phrase itself offers interesting insights.
This expression uses the verb “to resemble” in a nominalized form. It treats “resembling” itself as something to befriend.
The phrase doesn’t say “those who resemble.” It says “resembling” as a concept. This shows a uniquely Japanese sensitivity that finds value in the relationship of similarity itself.
Ancient Japan had a culture where people in similar circumstances naturally gathered and helped each other.
Farming villages practiced “yui,” a spirit of mutual assistance. Craftspeople formed “za,” guilds of the same trade. People in similar positions supported each other through these systems. This wisdom was woven into daily life.
This expression shares meaning with the more widely known proverb “Birds of a feather flock together.”
However, “Befriend those who resemble you” is more concise. Scholars believe it represents an older form.
Using “friend” as a verb meaning “to befriend” reflects classical Japanese language patterns.
People instinctively feel safe with those who share common traits. They open up more easily to such people.
Our ancestors captured this universal human psychology in just a few words.
Usage Examples
- The transfer student fit in quickly because the class had fellow gaming fans. It’s truly “Befriend those who resemble you.”
- I attended an entrepreneur meetup and everyone clicked. I really felt the truth of “Befriend those who resemble you.”
Universal Wisdom
“Befriend those who resemble you” reveals deep insight about a fundamental human need. That need is the desire to be understood.
Everyone wants others to understand their feelings and thoughts. But getting someone with completely different backgrounds or values to understand you takes enormous effort and time.
People with similar circumstances or personalities can understand each other with few words. This feeling of “easy mutual understanding” attracts people powerfully.
This proverb also expresses humanity’s “need to belong.” People feel secure among those similar to themselves. They find their place in such groups.
This connects to survival instinct. It’s an extremely primitive emotion.
Humans lived in groups throughout history. Being recognized as part of the group was essential for survival.
At the same time, this proverb hints at the limits of human relationships.
The comfort of gathering with similar people is great. But it can narrow your perspective. It sometimes costs you opportunities for new discoveries and growth.
Our ancestors observed this tendency and recorded it as fact. They didn’t judge it as good or bad. They simply looked at human nature itself.
When AI Hears This
When similar people gather, network structure changes rapidly. Network science calls this phenomenon “homophily” and can quantify it.
For example, on social media, the probability of connecting with people who share your opinions becomes two to three times higher than random chance.
Mathematical models prove that the entire network fragments into small islands when this happens.
What’s fascinating is that this fragmentation progresses exponentially. It starts slowly, but accelerates dramatically after reaching a critical point.
Research shows that if you have ten friends and seven share similar views, about 85 percent of the information you encounter next will lean the same direction.
This creates an echo chamber. Your voice bounces back and amplifies like in a closed room.
Even more surprising is the self-reinforcing loop in this system. When similar people gather, bonds within the group strengthen while connections to outsiders weaken.
Network theory measures this with the “clustering coefficient.” In groups of similar people, this value often exceeds 0.6.
Random networks typically show about 0.1. That means relationships become six times denser.
The ancients knew this phenomenon through experience. Modern algorithms now accelerate it intentionally.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people to understand “the power of common ground” in relationships. It shows us how to use this power wisely.
You might feel anxious when entering a new environment. But every place has someone who shares something with you.
Hobbies, hometown, favorite foods—even small things work. Finding that common ground becomes the first step in building new relationships.
This proverb also offers hints for self-understanding. Observe the people you naturally become close to.
They reflect your own values and personality. Your friendships serve as mirrors showing who you are.
However, remember not to become too comfortable only with similar people.
Sometimes encounters with people from different backgrounds or with different ideas help you grow significantly.
Understand “Befriend those who resemble you” as a natural human tendency. Then consciously value interactions with diverse people too.
This balance becomes the key to building a rich life.
Comments