How to Read “The older the wife and miso, the better”
Nyōbō to miso wa furui hodo yoi
Meaning of “The older the wife and miso, the better”
This proverb means that both wives and miso increase in value as time passes. A wife you’ve been with for many years deeply understands your personality and way of thinking.
She becomes someone who knows your feelings without words. She may not have the glamour of youth anymore, but the bond formed through sharing life’s joys and sorrows is irreplaceable.
Similarly, miso develops a mellow, deep flavor through long-term aging. The complex umami taste that new miso lacks can only come with time.
People use this proverb when talking about the value of marriage. It especially praises couples who have been together for many years.
It also encourages young couples by saying “you’ll build a good relationship over time.” Today’s world often values instant results and newness.
But this proverb reminds us of the preciousness of relationships nurtured over time. It still holds meaning in our modern age.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records exist about this proverb’s origin. However, looking at its components reveals an interesting background.
Let’s first focus on “miso.” In Japanese food culture, miso is one of the foods that best embodies the value of time through fermentation and aging.
During the Edo period, people said “miso is three-year miso.” Long-aged miso was widely known to have deeper umami and aroma.
The value of fermented foods isn’t just about being old. It’s based on the scientific fact that microorganisms work over time to create complex flavors.
Meanwhile, “nyōbō” refers to a wife you’ve been with for a long time. This proverb likely emerged from the idea that marriage deepens over time, just like miso aging.
Couples change from initial awkwardness to a relationship where they support each other with perfect understanding. This transformation was compared to the miso aging process.
This proverb reflects Japanese cultural values that recognize the worth of time. It contains the wisdom of ancestors who honored things nurtured slowly, rather than seeking instant or new things.
Interesting Facts
Miso aging periods vary greatly by type. Common rice miso takes six months to a year. Long-aged red miso can take two to three years.
In Edo period samurai households, some regions had a custom of making miso when a daughter was born. They would give her that aged miso when she married.
Miso aged for over ten years was truly a gift embodying the value of time.
A similar expression exists: “The older the husband and miso, the better.” However, this version isn’t as widely used as “wife and miso.”
The proverb could work from either spouse’s perspective. But the “wife” version became established. This may reflect the social structure of the era when this proverb was born.
Usage Examples
- Watching my parents celebrate their thirtieth anniversary, I think “The older the wife and miso, the better” is well said
- We fought constantly when young, but “The older the wife and miso, the better” – now I’m more grateful for my wife than anything
Universal Wisdom
The universal wisdom in this proverb is that true value can only be created over time. This is the essence of human relationships.
We tend to seek new things or instant satisfaction. But deep bonds between people can never be built overnight.
In marriage, the passion and freshness of first meeting are certainly attractive. But that’s only superficial charm.
To truly understand and support each other requires a long time. You must experience both joy and sorrow together, sometimes clash, yet accept each other.
This proverb has been passed down because humans instinctively seek “depth.” Superficial relationships can’t satisfy a craving deep in our hearts.
We long for someone who truly understands us, someone we can connect with without words.
Through the concrete image of miso aging, our ancestors taught us the value of time. Just as microorganisms quietly work to create complex flavors, relationships deepen through daily small accumulations.
You can’t rush it. You can’t hurry it. Only by taking time and carefully engaging can genuine bonds form.
This truth touches on the unchanging essence of humanity across all eras.
When AI Hears This
Surprisingly similar physical laws govern both miso aging and marriage. Both start from an unstable high-energy state and transition over time to a stable low-energy state.
In miso fermentation, enzymes break down soybean proteins into amino acids. During this process, entropy – molecular disorder – definitely increases.
Large molecules break apart into small ones. But simultaneously, this decomposition decreases the system’s overall free energy, settling into a chemically stable state.
For example, when complex protein structures unfold into umami components like glutamic acid, they reach a stable state with no return.
Marriage actually has the same structure. Newlywed life exists in psychological tension as each tries to change the other – a high free energy state.
But over time, they accept each other’s differences and settle into predictable patterns. This is information-theoretic entropy increase.
Surprise and freshness as order are lost. But in exchange, psychological energy from conflict and friction is minimized.
As physicist Ludwig Boltzmann showed, all systems spontaneously seek low-energy stable states. Neither miso nor marriage can escape this universal law.
Lessons for Today
This proverb warns us against lifestyles that only pursue efficiency and speed. You probably have people you’ve known for a long time around you.
Family, friends, coworkers. Why not nurture those relationships more carefully?
In modern society, even human relationships are measured by “cost-performance.” Relationships without immediate results get cut off. New encounters are constantly sought.
But what truly satisfies the heart are deep bonds built over time.
This lesson isn’t limited to romance or marriage. Trust with work colleagues, friendship, parent-child bonds – any relationship gains irreplaceable value through careful attention over time.
Even if you don’t see results immediately, don’t rush. Today’s small accumulations will eventually create rich relationships.
What matters is cherishing time with the person in front of you. Put down your smartphone and listen to them. Laugh together, sometimes cry together.
Such ordinary moments accumulated over time nurture solid bonds that support your life. Don’t lose sight of what’s worth taking time for.
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