How to Read “Missing both the meal time and the off-hours”
Toki ni mo hiji ni mo hazureru
Meaning of “Missing both the meal time and the off-hours”
This proverb describes someone who acts without proper awareness of when to be respectful or restrained. It criticizes people who ignore rules and etiquette that should be followed, behaving inappropriately for the situation.
For example, it refers to someone who makes inappropriate jokes at a solemn occasion. It also describes acting selfishly without considering others’ positions or circumstances.
Using this proverb makes a stronger impression than simply saying “bad manners.” It emphasizes the importance of understanding the right time and place for different behaviors.
Today, we rarely think about the religious background of this saying. However, the idea of “reading the room” or “knowing TPO” remains important in society.
This proverb expresses the importance of maintaining social propriety and etiquette through ancient words.
Origin and Etymology
The word “toki” in this proverb refers to a period of purification when worshipping gods or Buddha. It also means times when people refrained from eating.
“Hiji” was originally a Buddhist term meaning non-meal times, specifically the hours after noon. Buddhist precepts required eating only in the morning and fasting in the afternoon.
This proverb combines these two words to describe behavior that fits neither the time for restraint nor the time for fasting. It expresses actions that show no awareness of proper timing.
The saying has roots in Buddhist precepts and Shinto purification rituals. These religious customs were deeply embedded in Japanese life.
The exact first written appearance is unclear. However, it likely began in temples and aristocratic society after Buddhism became established in Japan during the Heian period.
For people of that era, following religious norms was fundamental to social life. In that context, this proverb emerged as an expression warning against behavior lacking propriety.
Usage Examples
- He told loud jokes at a funeral—that’s truly missing both the meal time and the off-hours
- Playing games during a meeting is exactly what missing both the meal time and the off-hours means
Universal Wisdom
Human society contains countless invisible rules. These aren’t written laws but rather implicit understandings shared through “atmosphere” and “mood.”
This proverb has been passed down because the ability to “know one’s place” is essential for survival. Humans are social creatures, and this awareness is fundamental.
What’s interesting is that this proverb doesn’t simply condemn “rule-breaking.” Instead, it uses the concept of “time” in two different ways.
Both toki and hiji refer to specific times or situations. Human behavior always exists within the context of “time.” Our ancestors understood that reading this context is the essence of social awareness.
Why do people act without awareness of their surroundings? It relates to the fundamental human trait of self-centeredness.
When absorbed in our own desires and emotions, we become blind to our surroundings. This can happen to anyone.
That’s why this proverb continues to serve as a warning. Living in society means constantly being aware of the relationship between yourself and others, yourself and the situation.
When AI Hears This
When swinging on a swing, if you stand at the highest point or sit at the lowest point with wrong timing, the swing won’t go higher. This is what physics calls “anti-resonance.”
When force is applied at timing misaligned with the oscillation cycle, energy cancels itself out.
The situation this proverb describes is exactly this phenomenon. A festival represents a “high-energy state” while daily life represents a “low-energy state.”
Being suspended between these two different vibration modes, unable to synchronize with either, creates inefficiency. In physics, resonance requires phase alignment.
Peaks must align with peaks, valleys with valleys. Without this timing, the system doesn’t amplify. Intervening at halfway timing disperses energy, reaching no state successfully.
What’s fascinating is that this “intermediate zone” has the worst energy efficiency. Fully joining the festival brings the reward of excitement. Committing to daily routine brings the benefit of stability.
But in between, you pay preparation costs with zero reward. Just as a pendulum exchanges potential and kinetic energy at its highest and lowest points, human activities maintain efficiency by moving between clear states.
Phase misalignment that’s neither one thing nor another is the worst inefficiency, both physically and socially.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches you the importance of “viewing your own actions objectively.” We all tend to get trapped in our own perspective.
What truly matters is the sensitivity to perceive what’s needed in this moment.
In modern society, this teaching applies even to social media posts. Making careless posts when sad news is circulating, or telling inappropriate jokes during serious discussions—these “tone-deaf” actions can unintentionally hurt people or damage trust.
But this isn’t a teaching meant to restrict you. Rather, it’s a positive message that being considerate of others helps you build richer relationships.
Being aware of context means caring about others. Ultimately, this is wisdom for living comfortably yourself.
The small habit of pausing and looking around will enrich your life. It’s not about fear but about connection and understanding.
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