How to Read “Serve guests what the master likes”
Teishu no suki wo kyaku e dasu
Meaning of “Serve guests what the master likes”
“Serve guests what the master likes” means forcing your own preferences onto your guests. When hosting people, you should consider their tastes and circumstances. But this proverb describes someone who just serves what they personally like or think is good.
This saying is especially used in hospitality situations. For example, a master who loves alcohol assumes his guests do too and keeps pouring drinks. Or someone talks endlessly about their hobby, convinced the other person must enjoy it.
This expression warns against behavior that lacks consideration for others. Even with good intentions, pushing your values onto someone can be annoying or uncomfortable for them.
The lesson applies to modern life too. Choosing gifts, picking restaurants, or deciding how to work on projects all require this awareness. The proverb simply reminds us how important it is to think from the other person’s perspective.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records explain this proverb’s origin. But it likely emerged from everyday life during the Edo period.
“Teishu” means the master of the house. In Edo-period Japan, the household head system was firmly established. The master held absolute authority, and his preferences and values dominated the entire household. When entertaining guests, the master’s judgment came first.
What’s interesting is that this proverb carries a critical tone, not just observation. When hosting guests, you should consider their preferences. But instead, you force your own favorites on them.
People noticed this behavior pattern as a trap that powerful people easily fall into. Common folk observed this and passed it along.
“Serve to guests” is also suggestive. It brings to mind concrete hospitality like food and drink. But it also refers to pushing your values and ideas onto others in general.
This proverb probably spread through word of mouth. Common people observed hospitality scenes in merchant and samurai households. They sharply captured an essential human tendency in this expression.
The proverb contains the common people’s critical view of how powerful people behave.
Usage Examples
- He’s the type to serve guests what the master likes, always choosing only his favorite restaurants even for business dinners
- Let’s research what they like so we don’t serve guests what the master likes when choosing a gift
Universal Wisdom
The proverb “Serve guests what the master likes” brilliantly captures a fundamental human tendency. We all have a nature that wants to believe our values are correct. We assume what we think is good will please others too.
This tendency doesn’t come from bad intentions. It often springs from genuine goodwill to make others happy. You want to serve food you find delicious. You want to recommend a book that moved you. These feelings themselves are pure. But there’s a trap here.
Humans are essentially creatures who struggle to escape self-centered perspectives. Thinking from another person’s position actually requires advanced imagination and effort.
Seeing someone without filtering through your own preferences is surprisingly difficult.
This proverb has been passed down for so long because this human nature never changes across time. The tendency grows stronger the higher your position becomes. Whether you have power, are older, a parent, or a boss, it intensifies.
Balancing confidence in your judgment with respecting others’ individuality is difficult. This remains an eternal challenge in human relationships, regardless of time or place.
When AI Hears This
The act of a master serving his own favorites to guests is a classic failure of “information asymmetry” in game theory. The master has complete information about his own preferences. But he has almost no information about the guest’s preferences.
When you make choices based on your own preferences in this situation, the probability of maximizing the guest’s satisfaction becomes extremely low.
What’s interesting is that this isn’t just lack of consideration. It’s sending a “false signal” in signaling theory. The master intends to send the signal “this is a good thing.” But from the guest’s view, it becomes a different signal: “this person can’t think from others’ perspectives.”
This is the “adverse selection” phenomenon that economist George Akerlof pointed out. The judgment of the side with information becomes disadvantageous to the side without information.
Even more noteworthy is the structural reason why this failure repeats easily. The human brain has a cognitive bias that easily mistakes its own preferences for “objectively good things.” In psychology, this is called the “false consensus effect.”
People tend to overestimate that others share their preferences. So the master makes the worst choice without malice, actually with good intentions.
People on social media who only post about their own interests get avoided for the same reason. Companies that develop products without customer research fail for exactly the same mechanism.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people a harsh but important truth. Good intentions alone are not enough. Even when you think you’re acting for someone’s benefit, whether it truly meets their needs is a separate question.
In modern society, this lesson has become even more important. In an era that respects diversity, treating your values as absolute can hurt others without you realizing it.
This applies to posting on social media, managing at work, raising children, and friendships. Every situation requires starting from the premise that “the other person is different from me.”
So what should we do? The answer is simple. Don’t assume things, just ask first. Before pushing your preferences, listen to the other person’s voice. And humbly acknowledge that your judgment isn’t absolute.
For your goodwill to truly reach the other person, why not develop the habit of pausing to think? That is true consideration for others. It’s the first step to building rich human relationships.
Comments