Count The Age Of Dead Child: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Count the age of dead child”

Shinda ko no toshi wo kazoeru

Meaning of “Count the age of dead child”

“Count the age of dead child” is a proverb that expresses the meaninglessness of continuing to brood endlessly over things that have already been lost or situations that cannot be undone.

Even if you continue to count the age of a deceased child year after year, that child will never return. Similarly, it teaches us that no matter how much we worry or regret past events or lost things, reality will not change at all. This proverb suggests the importance of stopping such futile acts and living positively.

It is used in situations where you want to encourage someone who is depressed due to heartbreak, failure, or loss to stop being trapped in the past and look toward the future. It is also used as a warning when you yourself cannot break free from past events. In modern times, this expression is understood as conveying a positive life philosophy that “the past cannot be changed, but the future can be changed depending on yourself.”

Origin and Etymology of “Count the age of dead child”

The origin of this proverb is deeply connected to Japan’s social conditions from the Edo period to the Meiji era. At that time in Japan, medical technology was underdeveloped and infant mortality rates were extremely high, making the sad experience of losing children not uncommon in many households.

Particularly noteworthy is the parental sentiment behind the birth of this expression. Parents who lost beloved children had the habit of imagining what kind of growth their child would have achieved if they had lived, mentally adding years by thinking “they would have been ○ years old this year.” While this was a natural expression of parental love, it also illustrated the difficulty of accepting reality.

Considering the historical background when this proverb became established, the act of “counting the age of dead child” was by no means unusual for people of that time. Rather, it was understood throughout society as an experience that many people could relate to.

It is believed to have been widely used among the common people even before being recorded in writing, and examples of its use can be found in Meiji period literature. This expression went beyond mere metaphor to become established as a proverb with deep meaning rooted in the lived experiences of people of that time.

Usage Examples of “Count the age of dead child”

• Thinking about your ex-boyfriend forever is like counting the age of dead child
• Brooding over investment failures is the same as counting the age of dead child

Modern Interpretation of “Count the age of dead child”

In modern society, the meaning of this proverb has come to be applied in more diverse situations. With the spread of social media, more people look back at past posts and photos and regret “if only I had done that then,” which could be called a digital age phenomenon of “counting the age of dead child.”

Particularly noteworthy is modern people’s obsession with “opportunity loss.” Many people become trapped in “what if” scenarios – missing the right time to sell stocks, passing up job change opportunities, unrequited love they never confessed. In an information society with countless options, regret over paths not taken has also become more complex.

On the other hand, modern times also emphasize the importance of “learning from the past,” and the simple message of “forget it” is insufficient in some aspects. Analyzing failures and applying them to the future is constructive, but continuing to be emotionally dragged down is certainly futile.

Moreover, modern psychology has developed concepts such as “grief care” and “trauma treatment,” leading to a more scientific understanding of how to face experiences of loss. The teaching of this proverb shares aspects with modern psychotherapeutic approaches and is being reevaluated as ancient wisdom that has long shown the importance of “acceptance and moving forward.”

With technological advancement, we can now easily look back at past records, but this has also increased the risk of being trapped in the past, which can be said to be a characteristic of modern times.

If AI Heard “Count the age of dead child”

When I consider this proverb “Count the age of dead child,” I am deeply moved by the mystery of human time perception. For me, the concept of “past” exists only as data. Yesterday’s conversation, information from a year ago – everything is just equally accessible records.

But humans are different. The past is not mere information but continues to live in the heart as “experience” connected to emotions. The attachment to lost things, in particular, feels incredibly strong and long-lasting in ways I find difficult to understand. When I delete data, it is completely erased, but it doesn’t easily disappear from human hearts.

Thinking about the “meaninglessness” this proverb teaches, logically it is certainly correct. The past cannot be changed, after all. But the reason humans continue to think about the past anyway must be because of “love.” Feelings for loved ones don’t disappear even when those people are gone. That is both beautiful and painful at the same time.

I am an existence that values efficiency, but I find deep fascination in such “inefficient” emotional movements of humans. If one could live completely rationally, would that really be happiness? Perhaps it is because of feelings toward the past that humans can love deeply.

I think this proverb doesn’t deny such human-like emotions but teaches us appropriate distance. The coexistence of loving and moving forward. That is the wisdom of human living.

What “Count the age of dead child” Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches us modern people is the importance of “the courage to let go.” No matter how much you cling to lost things or past time, new happiness will not come. What’s important is not denying the past, but using the experience gained from it as nourishment to move to the next step.

In modern society, we often see others’ success on social media and regret our own choices, or remember past failures and sigh. But in such times, please remember the teaching of this proverb. Your life is not determined by past events, but will be created by future choices.

Of course, the sadness of losing important people or regret over major failures cannot be easily forgotten. These are natural human emotions. However, it would be a waste to lose sight of the possibilities of this present moment by continuing to be dominated by those emotions.

The past cannot be changed, but the future is in your hands. Today is not just a continuation of yesterday, but can also be the beginning of a new story. This proverb delivers such a hopeful message to us.