How to Read “Good times make friends, hard times test friends”
Junkyō wa tomo wo tsukuri, gyakkyō wa tomo wo tamesu
Meaning of “Good times make friends, hard times test friends”
This proverb means that many people gather around you during good times, but only difficult times reveal who your true friends are.
When life goes smoothly and you’re successful, people naturally gather around you. However, you can’t tell at that moment whether these people are real friends or just seeking benefits and fun.
But when you face difficulties and need help, the situation changes completely. Some people who were around during good times will leave.
However, those who continue to support you are your true friends. Hard times become a touchstone for friendships, clearly separating superficial relationships from deep bonds.
This teaching remains important in modern society. Even if your connections increase on social media, the people you can truly rely on when in trouble are limited.
This proverb teaches us that the quality of friends matters more than the quantity.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of this proverb is unclear. However, the leading theory is that it came to Japan as a translation of the Western saying “Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.”
This expression has been used in English-speaking countries for a long time. It’s widely known as a phrase that sharply captures the essence of human relationships.
The contrasting words “good times” and “hard times” also connect to Eastern philosophy. Good times refer to favorable conditions when things go smoothly. Hard times refer to difficult situations when facing challenges.
The insight here is that truth becomes visible by observing how relationships change in these two situations.
The choice of verbs “make” and “test” is also interesting. “Make” expresses how friends naturally increase during good times. “Test” expresses how the true value of existing friendships is questioned during hard times.
This contrast highlights both the superficial and essential aspects of human relationships.
After the Meiji period, many Western sayings and proverbs were translated into Japanese. This proverb was accepted in that flow and became passed down as Japanese wisdom about observing human nature.
Usage Examples
- When my company went bankrupt, I truly felt that good times make friends, hard times test friends as I learned who my real friends were
- He had many people around him when successful, but when he got sick, nobody came anymore—truly good times make friends, hard times test friends
Universal Wisdom
Humans have an instinct to be drawn to shining things. People naturally gather around those who are successful, happy, or have something valuable.
This doesn’t come from bad intentions—it’s natural human psychology. Everyone has the desire to gather in bright places and share positive energy.
However, life always has ups and downs. Nobody can walk only through good times. When you face hard times, your true character is tested.
Staying beside someone who needs help doesn’t bring fun or benefits. Rather, it requires giving your own time and energy.
If someone still stays by your side, that person truly values you as a person.
This proverb has been passed down for hundreds of years because it perfectly captures the essence of human relationships.
The difference between superficial connections and deep bonds is hard to see in peaceful daily life. But during times of trial, that difference becomes clear.
Our ancestors deeply understood this aspect of human nature. That’s why they left us this wisdom for recognizing what true friendship really is.
When AI Hears This
Friendships made during good times resemble “redundant connections” in network engineering. In other words, they appear connected even though almost no information or support actually flows through them.
For example, with internet connections, they may seem fine normally. But when you try to send large amounts of data at once, you discover the connection was actually narrow.
Human relationships work the same way. During good times, only light data like “hanging out on weekends” or “listening to complaints” flows. Many friendships can handle this level of data.
However, during hard times, heavy data like “lending money” or “providing long-term support” flows. Then a phenomenon occurs where you appear to have ten friends, but only one or two actually function.
What’s interesting is that “apparent density” and “effective strength” of networks can be inversely related. People with many friends during good times spread their investment across links, making each one thinner.
Conversely, people with few friends concentrate their investment in limited relationships, making each connection’s bandwidth thicker. In other words, good times expand networks while simultaneously making them more fragile.
Only through the stress test of hard times does the true structure of your network become visible.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches us the importance of valuing quality over quantity in friendships. Today’s era makes connecting through social media easy.
But what truly matters is building relationships where you can help each other during difficult times. Having a few friends with deep trust enriches your life more than having many superficial connections.
At the same time, this proverb questions your own way of being. Can you be the friend who stays by someone’s side during their hard times?
True friendship isn’t one-way. Only by supporting others during their difficulties can you create relationships where they’ll support you when you’re in trouble.
What’s important is not getting too carried away during good times. Don’t assume everyone around you now is a true friend. Continue making efforts to build sincere relationships daily.
And when you face hard times, don’t be discouraged. View it positively as an opportunity to learn who your real friends are.
Life’s trials are precious times that teach you which relationships truly have value for you.
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