How to Read “No one knows a child better than their parent”
Ko wo miru koto oya ni shikazu
Meaning of “No one knows a child better than their parent”
This proverb expresses the idea that parents understand their children better than anyone else. Parents watch their children grow from birth, day by day.
They know everything deeply: their personality, their way of thinking, what they’re good at and what they struggle with, what makes them happy and what makes them sad.
It shows the truth that no matter how much time others spend with a child, they cannot understand the child’s true nature as well as the parent does.
This expression is used when third parties offer opinions about a child’s education, future path, or behavior. For example, when relatives or acquaintances try to give advice about a child.
It’s also used when parents themselves feel confident in their understanding of their child. The words acknowledge that parental intuition and judgment have solid foundations based on years of observation.
Even today, this way of thinking is accepted as a fundamental principle of child-rearing. While expert opinions matter, the recognition that parents ultimately know their children best remains an unchanging truth.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first appearance of this proverb in literature is unclear. However, we can examine it through its linguistic structure.
The expression “shikazu” is a classical Japanese reading style borrowed from Chinese texts. It means “cannot match” or “cannot equal.” This form is commonly found in didactic sayings derived from Chinese classics.
“Ko wo miru” (to see a child) means more than just looking at their appearance. It carries the deeper meaning of understanding and perceiving a child’s essence and inner nature.
“Oya ni shikazu” (cannot match the parent) expresses absolute trust that no one surpasses parents in this understanding.
The background of this proverb’s creation likely lies in Japanese views on family and the special nature of parent-child relationships. Parents watch over every aspect of their child’s growth from the moment of birth.
They share all experiences together: joy and sorrow, success and failure. The understanding based on years of observation and deep love is irreplaceable by anyone else. This recognition is embedded in the proverb.
The proverb also has a history of being used as a preface when offering advice about education or child-rearing. It likely contained the meaning of respecting parental judgment and warning against casual interference from outsiders.
Usage Examples
- When it comes to my child, no one knows a child better than their parent, so I think I understand them best
- The teacher’s suggestion is appreciated, but no one knows a child better than their parent, so let’s make the final decision as parents
Universal Wisdom
Behind this proverb lies the inseparable relationship between “time” and “love” in human development. Understanding a person has a depth that cannot be reached through momentary observation.
Parents share countless moments with their children from birth. Nights spent comforting a crying baby, the joy of watching first steps, worry during fevers, celebrating small successes together.
All these experiences accumulate to form a depth of understanding that no one else can possess.
This universal truth teaches us the importance of “accumulated time” in human relationships. No matter how skilled an expert, no matter how close a friend, nothing can replace the quality and quantity of time spent together.
The parent-child relationship is one of the longest and most continuous relationships humans can experience. The understanding cultivated within it is not mere knowledge but deep insight woven from emotion and experience.
This proverb also reveals the human essence that “love deepens understanding.” Parents maintain a strong motivation to understand their children.
This motivation sharpens observation and develops sensitivity to notice even small changes. The desire to understand those we love is the most powerful driving force for human learning.
When AI Hears This
The difference in perception between parent and child comes from an overwhelming difference in data volume. If a parent has 15 years of data on their child, that’s about 130,000 hours of observation records.
Meanwhile, the time a child can objectively view themselves is maybe 30 minutes per day. This means parents have information across a timespan 40 times longer than the child’s self-awareness.
More importantly, what parents possess is “external observation data.” The moment a 3-year-old shared a toy with a friend, the night an elementary student cried from frustration, the first time a middle schooler helped someone.
These are all behavioral samples under different conditions. In machine learning terms, it’s like having massive test data under diverse conditions.
In contrast, a child’s self-awareness is dominated by “emotions of this very moment.” Psychology shows that humans reinterpret the past through their current mood.
When feeling down, they remember only past failures. When feeling good, only successful experiences surface. Their own database constantly has emotional noise mixed in.
Parents can accurately grasp the “average” and “tendencies” of their child’s behavioral patterns through the length of their timeline and their external observation position.
They can perceive essential personality traits without being confused by temporary fluctuations. This comes from the difference in information structure.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches us an important lesson: “Deep understanding requires time and continuous attention.” In modern society, which values efficiency and speed, we tend to try understanding people quickly too.
But true understanding doesn’t happen overnight.
When interacting with your child as a parent, these words give you confidence. When you feel swayed by expert opinions or others’ evaluations, remember that what you sense through daily time with your child has real value.
At the same time, don’t forget the effort to keep deepening that understanding. Children grow and change every day. Yesterday’s understanding may not be correct today.
This proverb applies beyond parent-child relationships too. A boss wanting to understand subordinates, a teacher wanting to understand students, a doctor wanting to understand patients.
In any relationship, truly understanding someone requires continuous interest and observation. Don’t make superficial judgments. The attitude of taking time to know the other person is the path to true understanding.
To understand the people important to you, keep engaging with them carefully today.
Comments