How to Read “Love is won by persistence”
Koi wa shigachi
Meaning of “Love is won by persistence”
“Love is won by persistence” means that in romance, people who take action are the ones who succeed. Even if you like someone, just thinking about them in your heart won’t start anything.
The person who gathers courage to talk to them, express their feelings, or ask them on a date is the one who gets the chance to make love bloom.
This proverb is often used to encourage people who are hesitating in love or when giving advice to friends. It’s effective for pushing someone who worries “What if I fail?”
You can tell them, “Love is won by persistence, so just try taking action first.” Even today, it’s understood as universal wisdom that applies to all romantic situations.
This includes sending messages on social media, confessing your feelings, or making your move.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of “Love is won by persistence” in historical texts is unclear. However, we can make interesting observations from the structure of this phrase.
The expression “shigachi” combines “shi” (meaning to accomplish) with “kachi” (meaning victory). Here, “kachi” doesn’t just mean winning a competition.
It carries the meaning that “the person who persists ultimately obtains what they desire.”
In traditional Japanese views of love, there was a tendency to see romance as something to “wait for” or “keep hidden.” However, in Heian period aristocratic society, men actively sent letters to women.
They deepened relationships by continuing to visit. This act of “continuing to visit” itself may have embodied the spirit of “shigachi.”
There’s also a theory that during the Edo period merchant culture, romantic tactics and assertiveness became more valued. This practical view of love spread among common people.
This proverb contains wisdom based on experience. Love won’t come true if you remain passive. It bears fruit only through action.
Usage Examples
- I was wondering whether to confess to her, but they say love is won by persistence, so tomorrow I’ll gather courage and tell her my feelings
- If you like someone, just waiting won’t work. Love is won by persistence, so you have to try talking to them yourself
Universal Wisdom
Behind why “Love is won by persistence” has been passed down lies a fundamental truth about human romance. No matter how strong or deep your feelings are, they will never reach the other person if you keep them only in your heart.
Everyone becomes timid in front of someone they like. Fear of rejection, anxiety about getting hurt, worry about ruining the relationship.
These emotions are common to all humans, regardless of era or culture. But at the same time, humans are creatures who carry regret for not acting much deeper and longer than regret for acting and failing.
What this proverb shows is the value of courage in love. Even if you wait for the perfect timing, it may never come.
If you try to move only after you’re certain of the other person’s feelings, someone else might take action in the meantime.
Our ancestors understood that when facing the uncertainty of love, pure action opens the way more than calculation or prediction.
In life, there are many situations where waiting is considered a virtue. But in love, this proverb teaches the truth that only those who move can weave their story.
When AI Hears This
When you view romance as an information game, the person who confesses first seems to be at a disadvantage, showing all their cards. But actually, this is a powerful move that changes the game’s structure itself.
Normally, when two people are trying to figure out “what does the other person think,” it’s like in chess when “the game hasn’t started yet.” Neither person is standing on the romance game board.
But the moment one person confesses, the other is forcibly pulled onto this game board. They’re pressed with the choice “yes or no” and can no longer remain in an ambiguous state.
In game theory, whoever has the right to set the game’s rules is most advantageous. The confessing side can unilaterally declare “we’re starting the romance game right now.”
Even if the other person “hadn’t thought about it yet,” from that moment their brain automatically switches to “mode for evaluating this person as a romantic prospect.”
Combined with psychology’s “mere exposure effect,” frequently appearing in the other person’s consciousness as a “romantic candidate” itself becomes fertile ground for nurturing affection.
By making the first move, you gain the time advantage of embedding yourself in their thought process. This is the true nature of “the one who makes the move wins.”
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches modern you is that important chances in life won’t come if you just wait. Not only in romance, but in work, friendship, and realizing dreams too.
Only people who have the courage to take that first step can open the door to new possibilities.
In modern society, communication methods like social media and dating apps have increased. But precisely because methods have increased, the difference between actually taking action or not creates even bigger differences in results.
Whether you send that message or not, that small step might greatly change your life.
It’s natural to fear failure. But regret for not taking action stays in your heart much longer than regret for failing. Perfect timing doesn’t exist.
This very moment is the best timing for you. Love is won by persistence. Your courageous step should become the key that opens the door to a wonderful future.
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