How to Read “Associate with superiors without flattery, associate with inferiors without arrogance”
Kami ni majiwatte hetsurawazu, shimo ni majiwatte ogorarazu
Meaning of “Associate with superiors without flattery, associate with inferiors without arrogance”
This proverb teaches that you should treat everyone with sincerity and equality. Don’t flatter those above you, and don’t act arrogant toward those below you.
It emphasizes the importance of maintaining proper behavior regardless of someone’s position. Your character should stay consistent whether you’re talking to a boss or a junior colleague.
This saying is commonly used in workplaces and schools where hierarchies exist. It guides how people should build relationships across different levels.
The proverb often appears when criticizing someone who acts overly humble to superiors or treats subordinates poorly. It reminds us that changing your attitude based on someone’s rank destroys trust.
In modern society, this teaching remains extremely important. People who adjust their behavior according to power and status never earn genuine trust from anyone.
Treating everyone with consistent sincerity, regardless of their position, is the mark of true character.
Origin and Etymology
This proverb comes from the Analects of Confucius, specifically from Chapter 14 called “Xian Wen.” The original text records these exact words as one of Confucius’s teachings about ideal human relationships.
Confucius lived during the Spring and Autumn period in ancient China. Society had strict class divisions, and hierarchical relationships formed the basic social structure.
In that era, Confucius emphasized sincerity over mere etiquette. “Flattery” means to fawn over someone, while “arrogance” means to become conceited and look down on others.
What’s interesting is that this teaching wasn’t just a moral ideal. It was also practical wisdom about human relationships.
Those who flatter the powerful lose credibility. Those who act arrogant toward the weak lose respect. Confucius understood these fundamental truths about human society.
Confucian thought came to Japan in ancient times. It became the spiritual foundation of both samurai code and merchant ethics.
This proverb became established as a behavioral standard for Japanese people through this cultural transmission.
Usage Examples
- The new department head associates with superiors without flattery and with inferiors without arrogance, earning respect from everyone
- I want to have the spirit of associating with superiors without flattery and with inferiors without arrogance, just like she does
Universal Wisdom
Humans have a curious trait. We tend to change our behavior based on someone’s position. This is a weakness we all share.
We become small in front of powerful people. We want to appear bigger in front of those weaker than us. This pattern exists in every era, from ancient times to today.
Why do we act this way? It connects deeply to our survival instinct.
If powerful people like us, we feel safe. If we dominate weaker people, our position feels secure. Our instincts whisper these things to us.
But our ancestors understood the danger of living purely by instinct.
People who flatter others may gain temporary benefits, but they eventually lose trust. Arrogant people lose respect and become isolated.
This happens because humans instinctively sense how others truly see them. We detect the real intentions behind surface behavior with surprising accuracy.
This proverb has survived thousands of years because it captures the essence of human relationships. True strength lies in consistent sincerity that doesn’t change with circumstances.
This truth never fades, no matter how times change.
When AI Hears This
Not flattering superiors or bullying subordinates creates what game theory calls a “cooperative equilibrium.” Consistency in behavior, regardless of someone’s status, functions as the most powerful trust signal.
Consider someone who flatters their boss. They might gain short-term benefits, but others receive information that “this person changes behavior when circumstances change.”
In game theory, such conditional strategies register as “betrayal potential.” This makes long-term cooperation difficult to establish.
Repeated prisoner’s dilemma experiments prove that consistent cooperative strategies achieve the highest cumulative gains.
What’s fascinating is that this proverb meets the conditions for an “evolutionarily stable strategy.” Once enough people in a group adopt this approach, flattering or bullying strategies can’t penetrate.
People with consistent attitudes preferentially form cooperative relationships with each other. They naturally create networks that exclude manipulative individuals.
From a signaling theory perspective, maintaining the same attitude regardless of status becomes a “costly honest signal.”
The courage not to flatter superiors and the grace to respect subordinates are difficult to fake. This makes them reliable indicators for evaluating character.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches you the importance of having your own axis as a person. In today’s era of social media and complex relationships, this teaching shines brighter than ever.
Think about people who only show their good side to bosses. Or those who are polite to clients but rude to subordinates.
How do you feel when you see such behavior? You probably find them untrustworthy. It’s worth reflecting on whether you unconsciously act this way yourself.
What matters is seeing people’s humanity, not their position. Respect each person as a human being, whether they’re a CEO or a new employee.
This attitude elevates your own character. It builds genuine trust from those around you.
You don’t need to be perfect. Just keep a heart that tries to be sincere with everyone.
These small accumulations make you truly strong as a person.
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